The Rose of the Name

[DruulEmpire]

From time to time I wonder: are there women who have mostly steered clear of the whole beauty track?  Women who look great but we wouldn't know about it because there's no way they would ordinarily cross our radar screen, women who could dominate modeling and movies and all that but figure, "Sorry, not for me, your loss"?  We crane and strain for such women in candid photos, but it's so hit-or-miss.  Without some reliable comprehensive "facial index" or some such thing, such women are lost to us.

But occasionally, I have luck just playing with names.  I'm a names freak, I should probably write a book about names some year.  Anyhow, I noted that the name Peart is relatively common in the American census, yet to date the greatest Peart has probably been drummer Neil Peart of Rush.  Then it struck me that "Peart" reminded me of "Beart" as in Emmanuelle Beart.  You may recall Beart as the French wife of Jon Voight as Jim Phelps in that first "Mission: Impossible" movie, though to my mind she looked wan and pained.  Better is "La Belle Noisseuse" (at least, I think it's spelled something like that), which is staggeringly long, but the good news is that Beart is nude for half of all that time, and that's not a bad deal at all.  So I thought, Beart ... and I recalled Amanda Peete looking all right ... so I wondered: how about ... Emma Peart?

So I do the advanced Google, and am struck by a photo from www.thelegalpractice.co.uk which shows this brilliant high-powered internationally-schooled lawyer named Emma Peart.

Men, they are out there.  If I have another success[PS: or a first one  ], I'll let you know.

PS: evidently the site no longer shows her picture.  But there's always Google.

SPECIAL ADDENDUM: Frankly I would just delete this post, but sol has already replied so I won't mess with that.  I got this so very, very wrong.  For some reason Google saw fit to put up a picture of Cheryl Cole as I was looking up various Emma Pearts (who all seem British or even New Zealander, strangely enough), and for some even more perverse reason Cheryl Cole was linked back to Emma Peart at www.thelegalpractice.co.uk but I rather doubt that Miss Cole works for them.  (In any case, Cheryl Cole took ill just two days ago, so wish her well.)  Being not that familiar with Cheryl Cole I rather easily got excited, but further digging revealed the truth.  Which reinforces my original point: we could use a facial index.

V to Pal below: eh, but Voight was cool back in the day of "The Odessa File" and "Conrack" and "Deliverance" -- and "Midnight Cowboy," of course.  Was he always like he is now?  I don't know.  And I still recommend that movie in which Beart is nude.

[solvegas]

I know one. My sister. There were three boys and one girl in my family and my sister is beautiful but she would not wear dresses ( unless forced by Mom ) , makeup or play with Barbie. She is no lesbian but she has always thought the primping was ridiculous. Guys wanted dates with her because they could see she was beautiful. She is in charge of west coast logistics for the Foster's wine group so she makes bookoo bucks but to this day she won't wear makeup. Last year she did for my niece's wedding ( her daughter ) and her striking facial features were really showing. She is 57 but looked 37 and unlike me, she is in great physical condition and is slim. Most people can't belive we are in the same family. My niece is the opposite. She is quite girly.  That's another story.

[Palomine]

You may recall Beart as the French wife of Jon Voight as Jim Phelps in that first "Mission: Impossible" movie, though to my mind she looked wan and pained.

Who wouldn't look 'wan and pained' even if merely pretending to be married to Jon Voight?! Have you heard him talk?! I wouldn't want to be in the same room as him, let alone have to pretend to know him.

I'd like to meet solvegas' sister (despite the age difference... I'd probably be too young for her ) but a) she's probably happily married and b) solvegas dislikes my politics, which wouldn't help me get an introduction.

[pedonbio]

Druul, is the Emma Peart of whom you speak the same woman who occasionally teaches karate at the Martial Arts Fitness Center in Wales? Their faces look remarkably alike if they are not the same person.

I think this is a wonderful topic and opens a whole unexplored and unspoken area of conjecture around our principal topic of interest. 

[DruulEmpire]

Well, I still say the title sucks, at least until I cough up a good example, but thanks.  No, I somehow doubt the lawyer Emma Peart is the trainer Emma Peart -- I mean, good lord, the lawyer sounds busy enough as is.  But this happens sometimes in names, a statistical cluster of activity.  Not everyone in the world who wants Bob Woodward wants the journalist -- sometimes it could be the Nobel laureate for his work in photosynthesis.

V to Bio: what a blasted shame.   "Sandusky" used to be a bit of a go-to stock name for someone regular or even reliable.  In "National Treasure: Book of Secrets," Harvey Keitel played a good Fed named Sandusky.

[pedonbio]

Well, I still say the title sucks, at least until I cough up a good example, but thanks.  No, I somehow doubt the lawyer Emma Peart is the trainer Emma Peart -- I mean, good lord, the lawyer sounds busy enough as is.  But this happens sometimes in names, a statistical cluster of activity.  Not everyone in the world who wants Bob Woodward wants the journalist -- sometimes it could be the Nobel laureate for his work in photosynthesis.

There is a guy in Chicago named Jerry Sandusky, who has absolutely no connection with the former coach at Penn State. He has disconnected his phone.

[DruulEmpire]

Not ideally what this thread could be about, but this hit me on the whole question of names.

What is up with one hot model being Kate Upton and another hot (if somewhat ditzy) girl being Caitlin (sometimes Caite) Upton?  I suspect someone is Upton no good.  

[DruulEmpire]

Another interesting coincidence (well, I think) concerning names and beauties.

I was flipping around in my Maltin's guide and noted that "The Horror of Frankenstein" starred one Kate O'Mara.  Turns out she starred in "The Vampire Lovers" too and went on to play a Dr. Who villainess and a conniving (what else?) sister to Joan Collins on "Dynasty."  She was quite hot -- but then I got to thinking, where have I seen that name before?

So I double checked "Shooter."  Sure enough, the actress in that was Kate Mara -- sister, evidently, to the Rooney Mara we'll be seeing shortly in the English language version of "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo."

Sadly, I can't consider this that "pure" a coincidence, because Kate O'Mara was born Frances Carroll.  Still -- how the heck did she ever choose a name just one prefix away from Kate Mara!?  Hmmm ...

[pedonbio]

I hope I'm understanding your original intent, Druul--Looking for women who were spectacular-looking, but who were not professional models. That was how I took your original post. The one cavaet I would make is that I've lived most of my life when people spent less of their lives taking pictures of each other, but perhaps half the women I have known who had unusual physical characteristics (like large breasts) tried modeling, which is where we get one-shoot wonders like Rosalie Strauss.

Anyway, one of my nominees would be "Pam", a beautiful woman with a spectacular body who would have been unknown but for a creepy boyfriend:

[DruulEmpire]

Bio: yeah, in spite of my screwing up the name of my thread and my own ongoing love of names, I think you're right to try to keep the thread on this.

Somewhere around this place of mine are pictures entrusted to me from an ex-stripper of Turkish descent and German upbringing.  I'll try to post them here someday, although the way they're shot they really don't do her justice -- I seriously consider her to be a kind of latter-day Uschi Digart.  Now she's a cook, home nurse and camp counselor somewhere in the Czech Republic.

Sometimes corroboration of a woman's looks can be difficult -- again, in part because she doesn't care enough to advertise that much in the first place.  I remember years ago my club had a speaker, University of Pittsburgh astronomer Regina E. Schulte-Ladbeck.  You wouldn't necessarily see it in the shy little ID photos she gives, but when she first showed up to give her presentation many a man looked her up and down and though "Dang ... !"  Now it seems she runs a blog called the Aging Climber.  I somehow get the feeling that Palomine would dig her.

[pedonbio]

I've mentioned Jennifer Osborne several times in these threads. She is an L.A.-based writer and editor, shown below in a 2005 shot with co-author Edwin "Legs" McNeil during their book tour for The Other Hollywood about the rise of video porn in Southern California. Unfortunately, the pic below does not do justice to her truly magnificent rack:

[DruulEmpire]

And by a minor miracle I find another reason to contribute to this thread, in both of its senses: the secret language of names, and fine-looking women who otherwise would fail to appear on my radar.

I'm so out of it that just now I refused to remember that Alec Guinness had died, which I suppose is in a way a tribute to the sheer immortality of the man and his work.  Of course, if he were alive now he'd be 97, and I do agree a little (but by no means all the way) with the Ruth Gordon character of Maude in the cult movie "Harold and Maude," to insist that everyone turn 100 or more can be cruel in its way.  So I looked him up and was stunned -- not very, but still a little stunned -- at how a simple Google for "Guinness" did not turn him up at first.  Of course, the powers of alcohol, trivia, and advertising got in the way, in the form of Guinness beer and the Guinness world records.  Finally I saw Alec, but then I noticed a Daphne Guinness.  Called a "fashion icon," Daphne is a Guinness heiress who once married some Greek zillionaire named Niarchos and had three kids by him.

What is most gratifying to me, though, is her current relationship.  A rich hot 44-year-old in love with a 63-year-old philosopher -- I tell you, it gives a man hope.

Addendum: did some more fooling around, saw that the surname Cartagena, just like the Colombian city, is fairly common even up here in the States.  So I did advanced-Google, trying to avoid the city, and came across, of all people, a pinup artist with the rather convenient name Carlos Cartagena, whose work is quite all right.  Then it got me to wondering: wouldn't it be funny if a hot woman had a name resembling that of this pinup artist?  So I tried -- and zammo-whammo, I found a beauty named Carmen Cartagena on Faceb00k.  (There's a paler sleepy-eyed Carmen, but I'm talking more mainstream glamorous.)  Great face, and great rack -- unless that's just morphing.  Apart from the pic, though, almost no data.  Just a name and a pic, with nothing special to advertise them.

Also: "Pacific Ocean" roughly translates to the Latina name Paz Pelayo.  One Eva Paz Pelayo is like Carmen Cartagena above, just a name and a hot FB pic. 

[DruulEmpire]

pedonbio might appreciate this: I bumped into the name Marcantonio and began to learn about the historic role of one Vito Marcantonio.  Then I got to thinking: wouldn't it be cool if a similar name yielded a hot woman? Well, "Victoria Marcantonio" didn't get very far, but as I continued to play with V names I noticed a tap dancer named Valery Marcantonio as I was trying to determine a Valerie.  Inspired by this tangent, I thought, what the hell, try Valeria.  PAYDIRT!  I wish Blax or someone was around to corroborate, but evidently a Valeria Marcantonio participated in a Miss Italia 2007 contest and looks very fine indeed.  Not so tucked away an identity, I know, but what can I say, I generally don't follow Miss Italia contests.  All in all I would call this a double win (Vito and Valeria) for the surname Marcantonio.

[DruulEmpire]

Does hotness trump accomplishment?  Or does that depend on the specific nature of the accomplishment?  I was forced to weight that consideration today as I was messing around with the Google to study the name Kasha.  Yes, "kasha" is usually a term for a kind of food, but I figured, there's just something so "girl" about the sound of it, surely there are women named Kasha.  And I was right, too.  I found a black Kasha Kelly on Faceb00k, but frankly she leaves me a little cold.  However, I found a blonde Kasha Kelly playing for a collegiate basketball team, the Cowley Tigers, and she is FINE, do go and check her out.  By curious coincidence, there's also a not unattractive Kasha Kelley (note spelling) serving as a politician -- but, eh, this time around I'm inclined to go with the Tiger.  With any luck she'll be graduating soon, wonder what as.

[pedonbio]

Druul, sometimes it's useful to try to follow your machinations. One of the requirements for law school is that we have our imaginations completely removed, so I decided to start with names of old girlfriends. In 1961 in 9th grade I had a gf named Velma, who wore hornrim glasses and heavy sweaters that I got under occasionally. I have never paid any attention to the Scooby-Doo stories because they didn't start until 1969, and by then I was so old I wasn't interested in kid stuff... So I didn't know until today about the character named Velma:

[DruulEmpire]

Well, that's a little retroactive, your first knowing an actual Velma and then later learning of the Scooby-Doo Velma, but you're getting the idea.  I'm still blown away by Kasha Kelly of the Cowley Tigers.  By the way, I notice that a rather cute and busty Scooby-Doo Velma has been a target in the dirty cartoons world of an interracial gang bang.  I guess they thought going with Daphne was way too obvious.

MSN's ongoing conspiracy to force-oblige me to try the Bing search engine finally struck paydirt.  There's an uplifting bit of video of an Allegiant airline pilot making an announcement to her dad on board the plane.  The pilot is one Captain Ana Vindas, though I have my suspicion she was once a Noelia Ana Gonzalez.  Sadly, I haven't raised her image elsewhere, the Bing video is my only lead on her, but she looks cute and it's not every day I get to think That Way about the pilot.

[DruulEmpire]

The first time I was introduced to the name Chastain in a big way was, strangely enough, all the way back in the movie "Misery."  You sharp folk out there may recall that the full name of the romantic heroine Annie Wilkes loved so much was Misery Chastain, no doubt Stephen King having cruel fun with the word "chaste."

But now the name has taken on a peculiar idiosyncrasy, much as we now have the hot Kate Upton and the infamous (though allegedly Tosh-redeemed) Caitlin Upton.  The first great Chastain was Brandi Chastain, the American soccer star who whipped her top off and showed off her sports bra come the big victory.  Now, I notice some discussion of actress Jessica Chastain.  Between Brandi and Jessica, I think Chastain will become a personal code word for "maximizing presentation of whatever you've got."

V to bio below: Christina is a pretty amazing name -- you have your Aguilera, your Applegate, your Ricci, and your Hendricks.  By the way, I kid you not, I did a simple Google of "Hendricks" and while Christina did not immediately pop up, two of the eight options I was offered at the bottom was "christina hendricks measurements" and "christina hendricks cup size."

[pedonbio]

Your exploration of "Chastain" made me think of "Christine" for some reason. "Christine was a fairly common name among the girls of my age cohort, with all its variant spellings. I have noticed that girls adopted shortened forms of the name, the most common being "Chris" and its variants, and the much less common being "Tina". Perhaps it is coincidence, but I have noticed significant differences in sexual behavior between woman who adopt the former and the latter. When I Googled images, I found a poker-playing Tina:

[DruulEmpire]

It's enough to make one wonder what Tina Fey might be like.

Did something silly just now -- I felt like Miss America whooshed right by me, so I checked the contestants.  Wisconsin won this year -- see, now, in the Addventure a Miss Wisconsin would HAVE to be big, but no, she was pretty standard.  In the semifinalists California was probably the hottest.  But the weirdest thing happened when I Googled "Courtney Porter."  I got the typical sugar-faced blonde for the competition, but then I also got a brunette on something called No Ties Modeling.  Seriously, the brunette is more interesting-looking than the would-be Miss America.  Which may be another role for this thread: to do justice to those overshadowed by others with their own name.

[DruulEmpire]

I think I've just invented a new idle hobby, especially for a lover of Asian girls like Zookie: combine girls' names with Chinese names and see what you Google.

I've been keeping track of the American census and, right alongside Hispanic names, Asian names have been skyrocketing in commonalty (there are now more Nguyens than Newmans, which wasn't the case just a few years ago).  So I didn't feel so odd at all when I entitled a chapter of a CHYOO thread of mine "Mrs. Young and Mrs. Yang."  Then I wondered what could go with Yang.

One good result is Melissa Yang, who writes at melissayangxoxo.blogspot.com and is evidently a self-described Asian model working in Australia.  Looks AND personality.

This hobby may not be as brainy as sudoku, but I consider its rewards to be more tangible.

[DruulEmpire]

Was thinking of, of all people, Brian Lamb, the man behind C-SPAN, and I wondered about some female offshoot of that name.  Brooke Lamb didn't turn up much -- but FB says there's quite a looker named Bristol Lamb.  She seems to be fair game, high school class of 2008.  I continue to be intrigued by the name Bristol in spite of the whole Palin thing: one source says it means "Breton," but I also come up with "broken chasm" and "bridge place."  In any event, Bristol Bay is beautiful and worth looking out for.

UPDATE: Bizarre thing.  Playing around with the name Petty, as in Heartbreakers and car racing, one woman who sprang to mind was Lori.  So I wondered: what do you get when you make that Lauren?  Answer: TWO women, one a Chicago reporter, the other an actress.  Very different looks, but both nice in their way.  I may just call this the "Courtney Porter effect" in honor of my February post.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Wild coincidences.  I was just Googling the name "Toni" and was surprised to see it take twenty entires to reach Toni Morrison while Toni Braxton is still going strong.  Anyhow, Victoria's Secret has just officially anointed a new German model named Toni Garrn.  (Isn't "Garrn" what Eliza Doolittle was always saying?)  Yet another skinny beyotch, but as ever, possible morph material.   

[DruulEmpire]

A rare male entry in this, a thread that's sometimes just a discussion of names.

For ages a guilty pleasure of mine has been the dopey-even-by-80s-standards movie Hamburger.  What can I say, it kicks off with girls showering, has Karen Mayo-Chandler, the villain's receptionist from Beverly Hills Cop, exposing her breasts to a guy she's supposed to be giving psychological advice to (still waiting for Beshine to roleplay that), and a way-beyond-Sally-meeting-Harry orgasm from the dependably curvaceous and ditzy blonde Randi Brooks.

Anyhow, the central character in all this is named Russell Procope, and all this time I assumed it was just some strung-together silly name -- he's a pro at coping, ha ha.  Then just now I get a hankering to check out this movie again and opt to search via advanced Google for "Russell Procope."  Imagine my flabbergasted shock in learning that Russell Procope was in fact a master clarinettist who used to play with Duke Ellington.

This is astonishing on a couple of levels, one being: how does a black get named Procope?  Yes, I get the whole "because whites owned them" thing; indeed, one nationally renowned ultrafine black woman shares my last name.  It's just that "Procope" strikes me as an Anglicization of Slavic "Prokop," and I'd like to give Slavs a little more credit than to have made any contribution to what was our peculiar institution.

Wherever "Procope" originated -- and it probably deserves research -- my first reaction was one of outrage.  I mean, this is a stupid, stooooopid movie, and they have to go and associate a great jazz musician with it?  But then I realized, hey, the movie's Russell Procope is supposed to be irresistible to women.  So, yeah, it's a slap -- but with benefits.  (The movie's Russell Procope is white, though.)