Breast Expansion Archive Forum

Announcements => Community Health & Memorial Notices => Topic started by: Zorro on June 16, 2007, 02:48:13 AM

Title: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: Zorro on June 16, 2007, 02:48:13 AM
It's taken me a while to write about this man and even though he is not a "user" on here.....or on any website for that matter, I figured I'd sound off a bit about him.

My father is 89 years old and in very poor health, that is to say he will not get better and his forth coming death is imminent.

Let's go back in to the past a bit to my experiences with him and such. My father returned from the 2nd World War sufferng from PTSD (Post Traumautic Stress Disorder). He was very short tempered and extremely violent. I had been whipped by a leather strap for the slightest infraction (per the scene in Goodfellas when Henry's dad confronts him with the letter on his skipping school).

For the most part he was a good father though to my sister and I although I learned early on that if I made him laugh I was not beaten.

My dad was a body-fender man on cars....later on exclusively on trucks until he retired. In the early days of this trade these folks would also paint the cars they worked on. In those days you either tied a rag around your nose and mouth or wore a paper type of mask that did a poor job of ventilation. The paint that was used at that time was lead based enamel. Over the next 30 or so years my father was poisoned by this and it lead to nerve damage in his legs. He needed a walker to get around and/or a wheelchair in many cases.

In the past 4 months his circulation in his legs was dangerously limited leading to gangrene in his toes and now in both of his feet. His state is such that he is way too weak to be operated on now and the only thing they can do is to try to keep him as comfortable as they can until the end.

Several weeks ago my sister decided to give me for a birthday present, a round trip flight to Nashville,TN last weekend June 9th to the 12th to see my dad one last time.

The trip was something that I looked forward to and dreaded at the same time as I had not seen this part of my family for 3 years since they moved from Pompano Beach, FL.

I spent most of this past Tuesday, before I came back home, with my dad. Due to the meds they have him on he would at most times be in a fantasy world. Often times throughout the visits to the hospital he would tell stories about me, to me as if I was a stranger. This was both funny and depressing at the same time because some of these stories never happened.

I came back Tuesday night depressed, tired, and suffering the ordeal of only having my left ear "pop". So for the last 3 days my right ear leaves me with the sensation of decreased hearing and all noises sounding like my head is in a bucket.

I know I am rambling on, but it helps me cope with all that has happened in the last 6 days now.

My sister and I discussed what tasks need to be performed before, during, and after the funeral that is sure to be taking place. My father being an army vet, is entitled to a military funeral and that is something that I will have to arrange as it will be taking place down here in Fort Lauderdale as my mother was buried here in 1980.

Also I made it be known to my sister years ago that I wanted our dad's casket flag, but when I talked with her this past Tuesday afternoon, I requested that she hold on to it for me.

Finally let me finish this post this way.......when you are young..........say in your 30's or 40's you don't consider the future when it comes to your parent(s). Most of us feel it is something for "later" and that you have plenty of time to worry about it.

I am now in my 56th year and "later" is now........or at the very least "soon". My own health is in such a state as to be "fragile". I have severe **82** apnea, type 2 diabetes, and rhumatoid arthritis in my feet and ankles. None of these are particularly life threatening at this time, but it just makes you think of what I have to look forward to during the next 30 or so years.

In this forum I have read what has happened or happening to many of us on here and the reality of it all kicks least to me it does.

My dad has had a good long life and as this chapter closes another one begins.

When I was in TN I **84** in his place at my sister's and on his display case in his living room was a picture of my grandson. That brought tears to my eyes.

Thanks for reading this.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: solvegas on June 16, 2007, 03:36:24 AM
Thanks for sharing what is essentially a private matter. You certantily did not have to discuss this with us and the fact that you did is appreciated. In my family most of those who went thru the great deppression and world war two have now passed to a better place. My father is 82 and in good physical condition even though his feet are crap and can hardly walk. My mother suffered a stroke on 1/1/2000 and she is unable to speak and is wheelchair bound. My parents are divorced ( 36 years ago ) and were not in speaking terms for many years. Their conditions have at least put some bad blood behind them. I could not in good conciense put my mother in a nursing home, especially since she would be unable to communicate ( she understands fine. She can read and knows what's going on, she just can't talk. ) so I put her in one of my bedrooms and take care of her. Her Doctor has said that this has extended her life and my mother is happy knowing she hasn't been forgotten. I have to say that while I don't look forward to it, I'm prepared emotionally for their deaths. It's really hard to discuss final preparations with my siblings but it has been resolved. My grandparents mostly died in their **82** and frankly that is the only decent way to go. No fuzz and no suffering. Well Zorro, I hope and pray your dad doesn't suffer and when the time comes his last thought will be his family loves him and he did a good job while in this world. Best we can all hope actually. Vaya con Dios.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: KBTs on June 29, 2007, 07:34:22 AM
My best wishes go to you.  You are wise, and kind to share your wisdom built up through the maturity of life experience carefully reflected upon.

My Father lost most of his hearing first grinding aircraft internal wing fuel tanks with inadequate hearing protection and then under quad 40mm AA cannons in the Navy; he was a 4F farmboy who survived virtually every childhood disease you could get in the 1920s, but his heart was damaged (by rheumatic fever?) so he could only enter the ROTC, go to UCLA, and enter the Navy as an Officer in the Occupation Forces.  He remained strong and healthy until his misdiagnosed colon cancer was both poorly treated and metastasized to additional poor treatment leading ultimately to his earlier-than-expected death by brain damage during resucitation after a cardiac arrest in 2003.

My (non-smoking) Mother has just this week been diagnosed with very aggressive terminal non-small-cell lung cancer, and my sister and I are going to be doing our best to help her with dignity and comfort through the end of her life during the coming difficulties of what passes for chemotherapy at this point in the practice of Medicine, just as we helped Dad with his as best we could.

We all enjoyed as much as we could all the time he had, and hope to enjoy as much with Mom, too, though her path will be the more difficult in several ways.  My sister and I, too, see ourselves in our parents and our patents in us, and are honored to be their children now giving our final gifts of as much of ourselves as we can to them as they gave the first gifts of themselves to us these 46 and 49 years ago.  Their greatest tribute, and ours to them, is our lives well-lived due to the gifts they gave us before our own lives began, during our lives, and after theirs end.  Maturity and Wisdom are but two of these.

And I thank you for sharing those gifts, from you and your Father, with me.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: prinz on June 30, 2007, 02:13:52 PM
god speed to you blackshoe...Lost my Mom and Dad years ago..also a brother to skin cancer...It doesnt get any easier does it..regards PE
Title: Re: Old Zorro - In Memorium
Post by: Zorro on June 30, 2007, 02:24:45 PM
I was just informed this morning that my father passed away a few hours ago.  

"In Memory of an old soldier who did not die.....but only faded away"


Born September 21, 1917 --- Died June 30, 2007
Title: Re: Old Zorro - In Memorium
Post by: solvegas on June 30, 2007, 02:30:53 PM
My sincerest condolescens. Vaya con Dios.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - In Memorium
Post by: HamsterGal on June 30, 2007, 03:15:41 PM
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. He will always live on in your heart and your memories.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - In Memorium
Post by: AgentDee on June 30, 2007, 11:49:26 PM
woah, sorry to hear that Z, at least at 90 years old he had a nice long life.  My mom passed away at 57 years old.  my dad is only 59 and still very healthy (golfs and works out every other day).
Title: Re: Old Zorro - In Memorium
Post by: homevintner on July 01, 2007, 03:21:23 AM
My deepest condolences.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - In Memorium
Post by: BarnacleBill on July 01, 2007, 05:24:26 AM
My condolences, Zorro.  My mother passed away two years ago.  Her death reminded me to try to live my life in the best way I know how.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - In Memorium
Post by: rtpoe on July 02, 2007, 11:37:50 PM
Requiescat in pace, Don Alejandro de la Vega....
Title: Re: Old Zorro - In Memorium
Post by: TheZookie007 on July 03, 2007, 09:18:08 PM
Welcome to the sorry state of orphans and half-oprhans, Zorro. My deepest condolences to you on your loss, which I share with you, friend.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - In Memorium
Post by: pedonbio on July 04, 2007, 06:15:01 AM

Welcome to the sorry state of orphans and half-oprhans, Zorro. My deepest condolences to you on your loss, which I share with you, friend.

Zookie, I never thought of it that way, but I guess there are a lot of us orphans among us geezers.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - Aftermath.....
Post by: Zorro on July 08, 2007, 01:11:52 AM

 Requiescat in pace, Don Alejandro de la Vega.


Well the funeral is over......I call the whole business ....the viewing....the eulogies....and the ceremony at the graveside "the Ordeal".

Out of something saddening a bright new thing had happened.

My youngest son and I spent a lot of time together. From this past Tuesday until this morning (July 7th) bonding.

You see he was my "loner" and out of touch with everyone, unlike his older brother and younger sister.

Also, on the brighter side as well my 2nd grandson made his appearance the night before my dad died. So I gained a Zorro and lost a Zorro within 24 hours. The remarkable thing about it all is that this grandson has a permanent "pissed off look"....just like my dad.  

I am feeling pretty good now every now and then the tears come, but not like it was during the week.  

Finally I have no morphs this week.  

I just didn't have the time to spend in front of the computer as I usually do, but there will be a resuming of the work this that I am alone again.

Also, I seem to have "clicked" with a very nice lady who works at the cemetary office. She is a hottie and even though it may seem morbid to be flirting and such, she actually responded to my comments very favorably. I am looking forward to seeing her again as she is also a neighbor!

So.....there you have it my past week of my "real" life.

I'd upload pictures from this week, but to tell you the truth even though I am not bothered by putting my own images on this site, I feel to put any of my family and/or acquaintances would be an invasion of their privacy.

The pictue of my dad in my previous post was taken about 60 years ago and there is no name attached.

 My name is not de La Vega either  

I want to take this time also to thank everyone for their words of encouragement and condolences as they helped me more than you could know.

Title: Re: Old Zorro - Aftermath.....
Post by: MasterDragonfly on July 09, 2007, 04:04:16 AM
Hi Zorro,

I first read this thread sometime in the latter half of June.  I didn't respond at the time because, well, I was optimistic.  I regret that my optimism wasn't self-fulfilling.    You have my condolences.

It was a little tough reading your most recent post in this thread, as it brought back some memories in a flash.  My own father's death (heart attack) was fairly unexpected, especially at the age of 55.  And nearly 18 years later, I still miss him dearly.  Most times the memories I have are lighthearted and fun, but occasionally it hits me a fair bit more deeply (like right now, for example).  So the bad news is that while it does gradually get easier over time, it never completely goes away.  The good news is, it never completely goes away.  I don't think I'd ever want it to, either.

I don't know that I can extrapolate from my experience and provide them to you and say "this is how it is, and how it will be", although I'll admit that I'm hoping there's more to it than everyone having completely unique and unrelated experiences.  Every year I pause to spend some time with him (so to speak), on his birthday, and on the anniversary of his death.  I don't mean that I go to visit his grave so much as light up a cigar (I don't smoke, and except for the rare cigar/pipe, neither did he), maybe have a drink, and I'll reminisce while telling cherri stories about him.

Anyway, I didn't mean to turn this into a 'me' thread.  I trust that you have many bittersweet memories of your dad to reflect on and will find your own way to remember him.  And it certainly sounds like you've also had a couple of rather unexpected yet positive outcomes.  

Master "cheers" Dragonfly
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: gOOber on July 09, 2007, 03:50:18 PM
I`m sorry for your loss.

Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: Palomine on July 09, 2007, 05:28:22 PM

I`m sorry for your loss.


Yes Z, what goober said... please accept my condolences.  
Title: Re: Old Zorro - Aftermath.....
Post by: DruulEmpire on July 20, 2007, 01:44:48 PM
I salute Old Zorro -- and, having read this, I also take your advice to heart, about not taking one's own presumed "immortality" for granted.
Title: Old Zorro - A year later
Post by: Zorro on July 02, 2008, 04:35:11 PM
It is hard to believe that a year has passed since my dad's death.

My life has gone through many changes since that time a year ago.

I departed Florida and moved to Maryland where I had my own battle with chronic depression and PTSD. I could not find work there and eventually relocated again to Hampton, Virginia staying at the Salvation Army Transit Housing Unit for 6 months.

Due to the kindness and help of a lot of people, from my children and here on the BEA (Cheviot and Round & Heavy), I have bounced back!

One sad and disappointing thing though. My sister made sure she got my father's entire estate, cutting me out of everything.  

I am not bitter or angry though, because I have something her heroin drugged daughter will never give her and that is my grandchildren. She can't buy any, or steal any, and she will more than likely die a bitter and lonely person.

I am grateful for what little I do have though and will continue on with what I consider my family now.....just my ch1ldren and grandch1ldren.


I have learned no matter what life deals you, you just have to go on and make the best of what comes your way.  
Title: Re: Old Zorro - A year later
Post by: prinz on July 12, 2008, 03:24:45 PM
good to hear life is getting a little better for you blackshoe...Its wonderful you have a good relationship with your children and now grandchildren...Bravo Zulu my friend..
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: Zorro on July 03, 2010, 03:01:09 AM
It's been 3 years now.

Not much has changed.
I still get a bit sad when I think of how long it has been since I started this thread.

I realized that as time goes on the sadness is not that  much to dwell on.

One good thing is that my youngest grandson no longer has that pissed look.

However his older brother has the old man's temper.   :o

This is my uncle and my father in 1924. My dad is the one with the pissed off look in the sailor suit.

The exact same look he had in his casket.

Title: Re: Old Zorro - 4 years now
Post by: Zorro on July 01, 2011, 11:39:07 PM
Another year has passed and a lot has happened since the old man died.

I am now living comfortably on my pension and feel pretty good.

Not having to go to work has it's advantages...... no putting up with egotistical idiots who have lived about a 6th of my lifespan and in most cases it is because they show cleavage and/or have huge boobs.

Not that I am complaining mind you, but even with the beautiful scenery it did not help my wallet at all.

As you can see, life goes on and I am dealing with it as best I am able to.

By the way here is a morph to cheer you up.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: Zorro on June 30, 2012, 12:52:18 PM
Yesterday my grandson turned 5!

Today marks 5 years since my dad died.

Nothing much has happened since last year's update and I am doing fine.

Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: pedonbio on July 01, 2012, 12:13:16 AM
Zorro, I've gone through this thread several dozen times over the years, but I haven't thanked you (until now) for posting it. Thank you. Our fathers weren't very different. Mine grew up in Texas, lived thru the Depression, and took the opportunity provided by World War Two to get away from Texas, his family, and an ex-wife. During training at Camp Lewis (Now "Joint Base Lewis-McCord" or JBLM in militarese) he found a place where water was ample and trees grew, and returned here after being discharged.

Dad worked for various obscure federal agencies--The Army Tugboat Service, the dear old Navy BuShips--and retired at 62 and watched television for thirty years. He and I got to know each other when he discovered (thanks to an FBI visit) the extent of my invovement in the antiwar and antidraft movements. For about a year he and I talked about it, and agreed to disagree.

When Dad turned 90 in 1998, and Mom had been dead for ten years, he agreed to move into an assisted living facility. It was a memorable move because it took place during the WTO demonstrations, and we had to cross a bunch of police lines to get him moved. By then his dementia was kicking up; he had good days and bad days. On the good days we talked about a lot of things, including what medical interventions he didn't want. By the time doctors were asking me what he wanted, I was glad for those discussions.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: Zorro on September 02, 2012, 12:26:02 PM
pedonbio, my dad was also born in Texas. in little town, just across the Rio Grande, called Mission.

I too was fortunate to see him just a few weeks before he died. He too would have good and bad hours instead of days mostly due to the morphine.

Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: Zorro on July 13, 2013, 07:49:32 AM
I almost forgot to update this thread.

Things are about the same with me and I am happy but not too content.

Thanks to all for their condolences offered over the years.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: Zorro on February 17, 2014, 02:27:11 AM
It appears that my father's death began the march of his siblings.
If I hadn't said it before my father had 4 sisters and one brother.

In the years since his passing 2 of his sisters and his only brother have joined him in to their final resting place.

It is sort of ironic that the 2 remaining sisters used to fight and argue all the time even to old age.

I found out a lot of this information from my Tia Maria tonight in chat on FB.

I hope to make a trip to Fort Wayne IN as well as my 45th high school reunion in Canonsburg PA this year.

Well that's it for now.

Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: solvegas on February 17, 2014, 04:33:27 AM
My father will be turning 90 this coming October. He was born in old Mexico and was oldest of 13 brothers and sisters. His mind is sharp as a tack but his feet are crap which frustrate his mobility. He lives west of Toronto for the last 40 years and was telling me on the phone this is the worst, coldest winter since he moved there in 1973. So far he has lost two siblings to cancer. The rest are mostly in good heath. My father has taken good care of himself which explains his durability. Unlike him, I've treated my body badly and at 57 I look older than he did at 70. It is nobody's fault but mine. When I read your pappy was born in Mission, Texas I immediately thought of the most famous person who came from there, Tom Landry, legendary coach of the Dallas Cowboys from 1960 to 1989.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: Zorro on February 17, 2014, 09:33:36 AM
The majority of my father's side of the family stayed in Dallas, TX except for my aunt Maria who has lived in Ft Wayne, IN.

Way back in the 1960's both her and the other remaining sister as well as my grandparents lived there.

My mother's side of the family were from West Virginia and after WW2 ended up in Pennsylvania.

I believe if my mother had been latino I no doubt would have been a TexMex like all of my cousins!

Ahh these trips down memory lane are sometimes both painful and sad, but in a way it makes me feel better to remember those days.

Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: pedonbio on February 18, 2014, 12:02:45 AM

I hope to make a trip to Fort Wayne IN as well as my 45th high school reunion in Canonsburg PA this year.

My 50th is coming up as well, and I keep getting emails awaiting my response. Oh, Gawd! The last one I went to was my 20th; the ex-wife from that class showed up with her then-current husband who, being from the East Coast, felt it was necessary to get snorting **92** and offer me his views of me as a human being. The young lady I had brought along happened to be a psychologist, who offered the opinion that the happy couple were probably on the rocks, so I wasn't surprised when they divorced a few years later.

So my excuse for not going will continue to be: I have too many ex-wives in that class.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: rtpoe on February 18, 2014, 12:33:37 AM
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

- Dylan Thomas
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: Zorro on February 19, 2014, 03:24:09 AM
Rodney Dangerfield in "Back to School".

Sorry about that, but it's the first time that I had heard that poem.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: rtpoe on February 20, 2014, 02:51:43 AM
And it was perfectly used in that movie.
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: Zorro on July 01, 2014, 10:38:25 AM
As of yesterday it has been 7 years since my father died and also on the 29th of June my grandson is now 7 years old.

Even though he was not the "father of the year" I still think about him now and then.

Despite that, he was a very creative guy. He could make anything out of wood or metal, but with that vicious hair trigger temper he just did not have the information to get patents on his creations.

Unfortunately I do not possess the skills he had, but I do my best at giving digital boob jobs.  ;D
Title: Re: Old Zorro - thoughts and such......
Post by: alcool773 on October 25, 2015, 07:50:36 AM
Much respect. Old bump, but thanks for posting. That generation was really, really something else.