[F_Cup_Fitzgerald]

Not too many minutes ago I watched a rerun of "Conan" where Jennifer Love Hewitt was a guest (the FIRST guest). I just wanted to post a few thoughts while I'm still riled up. Forgive me, I'm only venting. I realize, intellectually at least, that we all have our individual likes and dislikes when it comes to sex, but . . .

I was watching the show and thinking of Raoul Duke's latest thread, the one where he gives JLH an enormous dick. Not just an ordinary-sized dick, mind you, but a REALLY, REALLY big one, suitable for punching a hole in a paint-can lid or beating protesters senseless. I was thinking, as I watched the show: "That poor, poor girl. I wouldn't depict my worst enemy like that. What's she ever done to Raoul, aside from being a mild, mostly inoffensive ditz?"

I mean, really, Raoul, from the dick business you'd think she'd done you some personal harm or something, and you had some sort of moral compulsion to get even with her. I grant you (as I've said elsewhere) that she probably has a screw loose somewhere, but I'd even hesitate to depict a really rank criminal that way. For being a ditz . . . maybe it would be appropriate to depict her slipping on a banana peel and falling into a swimming pool at a premiere or something. Maybe a waiter spills a huge churn of soup on her and ruins her hair-do. That would probably mortify her in real life, given her lighter-than-air personality. But for crying out loud, she's just a little tiny young woman from Texas with a Holly Golightly complex (not, as she claims, an Audrey Hepburn complex--I think she's more like the character Hepburn played in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" than she's like Hepburn herself). That poor, poor woman. I realize I've taken a few liberties with her myself, but good GOD ALMIGHTY, how many guys can she possibly blow, how many lesbians can she service without coming up for air, and now, on top of it all she's practically bathed in her own jism. . . . It's past funny, it's gone into sensory overload. The circuit breakers are tripping. The vacation's turned into a death march, time to turn the car around and go home.

Point being, make the punishment fit the crime. It's gone way overboard, even for somebody that gets off writing about her. I realize there's no accounting for taste, but your JLH dick story is giving me (no pun intended) the willies. Can't she at least wake up in one of them and find that the whole thing's a horrible, horrible dream? Do me a favor. Write her ONE happy ending. It's the least you could do.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Actually, weasel has written one in the past, as well. I think that there is a much more significant disconnect between what I think should happen in the real world and what I write about the Addventure than there is for most people.

I don't wish the real Jennifer Love Hewitt any harm and, you'll note that unlike stories by Iron Nick and others, I NEVER EVER write about anyone experiencing suffering. I'm not turned on by suffering; I am, however, aroused by some pretty peculiar ideas.

I know from direct personal experience that things I sometimes find arousing in literature or film are things that actually disgust me when I confront them in reality. Case in point: I enjoy sexual depictions of young women. Yet, when given the opportunity to have sex with an attractive 20 year old, I passed up the chance because I didn't feel good about relating sexually to someone significantly younger than I am.

Similarly, you'll note that I sometimes depict anal intercourse in my writing. In reality, the prospect of actually doing it kills any arousal that I may be experiencing and causes me to feel nauseous. This is because when I write about anal sex, I am actually enjoying not the physical prospect but what the act symbolizes in the context of the story.

In reality, I am a very squeamish person who is put off by bodily fluids. I am unable to watch porn movies because I feel ill when I see people's genitals, male or female.

While you, F-Cup, are at one end of the spectrum where there is a one to one equivalency between what you want here and what you want in real life, I'm at the other end. And GhostHand and some others are out there with me.

Raoul.

[F_Cup_Fitzgerald]

Okay, that makes perfect sense. People do write here for different reasons. I don't want to rain on anybody's parade. You're just as entitled to indulge yourself as I am, or as anyone else is.

But why Hewitt? Why not Christina Ricci? Jessica Alba? Some haughty, snotty bitch who thoroughly deserves it? Hasn't Hewitt gotten enough?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Why JLH?

Because if I could imagine any woman doing something I find stimulating, I would almost always choose her -- she's more attractive to me than anyone else, regardless of context.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

What's the deal with this person? She doesn't look very good either.

[F_Cup_Fitzgerald]

Well, there's no accounting for taste.  

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I just looked at some pictures on her official website (no comment on anyone who claims to have a "hi-fi" version of their website, btw...) and she just doesn't look that good. I mean, a walk in any college campus will turn up with better looking girls. Not very clear what she does for a living, either.... actress? singer?

And why do people keep picking on her on the addventure anyway?  

[**DONOTDELETE**]

I think the thing that makes her so popular on this site is her build -- for someone weighing less than 100 lbs and standing 5'2", she has extraordinarily large breasts. Given that this a breast-fetish (as opposed to alternative fuel fetish) site, people are attracted to her because she has close to the perfect Hollywood anorexic build and yet retains very impressive breasts.

Raoul.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Touche' on the alternative fuels  

Oh, that's why I don't like her. Never been much for women who throw up on purpose on a regular basis... I'm more into the Mediterranean kind of beauty. (Then again, MY personal dream girl cannot be too heavy, topwise or otherwise, because she's supposed to fly.... just in case you did not notice.)

[**DONOTDELETE**]

You're thinking of bulimia; anorexia is just not eating. Anyway, glad to have you back. If you ever want to pick up the old St. Theresa's thread, let me know.

Raoul.

[F_Cup_Fitzgerald]

quote:Originally posted by Conrad Volkov:
[I'm] Not very clear what she does for a living, either.... actress? singer?

I'm not very clear on what she does for a living either, Conrad, and I've SEEN her act and sing. . . .    

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Jennifer Love Hewitt is a professional **29**. She understands that no one is paid $2 million a film to act. There are better actors working outside of Hollywood making an awful lot less; the point is that she fulfills a very important social role -- like the Delphic oracles or the Aztec living goddesses, her function is that essentially of a living embodiment of the superhuman. In most societies, no one would choose to be a public persona like that, the ultimate voyeuristic object but in today's society thousands of teenagers with automatic weapons and boundless love vie for this role every day. Teenagers who are aesthetically pleasing, in other words, fly. Los Angeles beckons the teenagers to come to her on buses. Los Angeles loves love...

Raoul.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Very poetic, Raoul, but... then you have people who hurl aircrafts at buildings. Had a tenth of that money been wisely spent in their general direction, they would never have felt frustrated enough to do that.

O brave new world, that such people has in it....

[Hint: Turn over world power to me. It's your only chance to survive make your time.]

[F_Cup_Fitzgerald]

quote:Originally posted by Conrad Volkov:
(Y)ou have people who hurl aircraft at buildings.

WE don't, Afghanistan does.

 

quote:Originally posted by Volkov:
Had a tenth of that money been wisely spent in their general direction, they would never have felt frustrated enough to do that.

What in the blue FUCK is THAT supposed to mean? Are you saying that if we'd just given money to the poor, oppressed TERRORISTS, that maybe they would have, out of the goodness of their hearts, decided not to KILL five thousand people?! You miserable TURD! You illiterate pig-fucker! How DARE you say such a thing over the dead bodies of the thousands of innocent people who have DIED for nothing THEY ever did!! I do not give a rusty FUCK about the poor, poor terrorists of the world (may they all eat my shit and die!) They do not have a point of view, they are killers. They are not warriors in a cause, they are verminous scum. And you say if we'd just treated them a little better, they wouldn't have been FORCED into doing what they did!!? Do you have a fucking screw loose or what?

[ October 29, 2001: Message edited by: F-Cup Fitzgerald ]

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Allow myself to clarify....

"Spend in their general direction" does not mean "fund the terrorists", although as we all know the first Bush administration did just that about these particular terrorists.

"Spend in their general direction" was more intended to mean "remember the promises made and start some sort of Marshall Plan once the Cold War was over, so as to prevent fiends such as the Taliban from reaching power in the first place".

Of course, it would have meant no rating boost for a mediocre president such as GWB is, no renewal of national unity in America, no being able to prevent blaming the recession on a fiscal policy which the innocent may call silly and the cynical may call centered around special interests, many more problems to get Russia to accept America basically breaking the ABM treaty unilaterally...

I'm rather sure that George Orwell is turning in his grave. But is he rotating about his axis or flipping endwise?

[ October 29, 2001: Message edited by: Conrad Volkov ]