It's taken me a while to write about this man and even though he is not a "user" on here.....or on any website for that matter, I figured I'd sound off a bit about him.
My father is 89 years old and in very poor health, that is to say he will not get better and his forth coming death is imminent.
Let's go back in to the past a bit to my experiences with him and such. My father returned from the 2nd World War sufferng from PTSD (Post Traumautic Stress Disorder). He was very short tempered and extremely violent. I had been whipped by a leather strap for the slightest infraction (per the scene in Goodfellas when Henry's dad confronts him with the letter on his skipping school).
For the most part he was a good father though to my sister and I although I learned early on that if I made him laugh I was not beaten.
My dad was a body-fender man on cars....later on exclusively on trucks until he retired. In the early days of this trade these folks would also paint the cars they worked on. In those days you either tied a rag around your nose and mouth or wore a paper type of mask that did a poor job of ventilation. The paint that was used at that time was lead based enamel. Over the next 30 or so years my father was poisoned by this and it lead to nerve damage in his legs. He needed a walker to get around and/or a wheelchair in many cases.
In the past 4 months his circulation in his legs was dangerously limited leading to gangrene in his toes and now in both of his feet. His state is such that he is way too weak to be operated on now and the only thing they can do is to try to keep him as comfortable as they can until the end.
Several weeks ago my sister decided to give me for a birthday present, a round trip flight to Nashville,TN last weekend June 9th to the 12th to see my dad one last time.
The trip was something that I looked forward to and dreaded at the same time as I had not seen this part of my family for 3 years since they moved from Pompano Beach, FL.
I spent most of this past Tuesday, before I came back home, with my dad. Due to the meds they have him on he would at most times be in a fantasy world. Often times throughout the visits to the hospital he would tell stories about me, to me as if I was a stranger. This was both funny and depressing at the same time because some of these stories never happened.
I came back Tuesday night depressed, tired, and suffering the ordeal of only having my left ear "pop". So for the last 3 days my right ear leaves me with the sensation of decreased hearing and all noises sounding like my head is in a bucket.
I know I am rambling on, but it helps me cope with all that has happened in the last 6 days now.
My sister and I discussed what tasks need to be performed before, during, and after the funeral that is sure to be taking place. My father being an army vet, is entitled to a military funeral and that is something that I will have to arrange as it will be taking place down here in Fort Lauderdale as my mother was buried here in 1980.
Also I made it be known to my sister years ago that I wanted our dad's casket flag, but when I talked with her this past Tuesday afternoon, I requested that she hold on to it for me.
Finally let me finish this post this way.......when you are young..........say in your 30's or 40's you don't consider the future when it comes to your parent(s). Most of us feel it is something for "later" and that you have plenty of time to worry about it.
I am now in my 56th year and "later" is now........or at the very least "soon". My own health is in such a state as to be "fragile". I have severe **82** apnea, type 2 diabetes, and rhumatoid arthritis in my feet and ankles. None of these are particularly life threatening at this time, but it just makes you think of what I have to look forward to during the next 30 or so years.
In this forum I have read what has happened or happening to many of us on here and the reality of it all kicks in..........at least to me it does.
My dad has had a good long life and as this chapter closes another one begins.
When I was in TN I **84** in his place at my sister's and on his display case in his living room was a picture of my grandson. That brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks for reading this.