Zorro, I've gone through this thread several dozen times over the years, but I haven't thanked you (until now) for posting it. Thank you. Our fathers weren't very different. Mine grew up in Texas, lived thru the Depression, and took the opportunity provided by World War Two to get away from Texas, his family, and an ex-wife. During training at Camp Lewis (Now "Joint Base Lewis-McCord" or JBLM in militarese) he found a place where water was ample and trees grew, and returned here after being discharged.
Dad worked for various obscure federal agencies--The Army Tugboat Service, the dear old Navy BuShips--and retired at 62 and watched television for thirty years. He and I got to know each other when he discovered (thanks to an FBI visit) the extent of my invovement in the antiwar and antidraft movements. For about a year he and I talked about it, and agreed to disagree.
When Dad turned 90 in 1998, and Mom had been dead for ten years, he agreed to move into an assisted living facility. It was a memorable move because it took place during the WTO demonstrations, and we had to cross a bunch of police lines to get him moved. By then his dementia was kicking up; he had good days and bad days. On the good days we talked about a lot of things, including what medical interventions he didn't want. By the time doctors were asking me what he wanted, I was glad for those discussions.