Thanks. I'm more of the "fucking clown" than the "fucking man" or "maverick"... but I'm happy either way.
Here are the replies I got to my text "I'm rewriting my will this weekend. Coincidentally, I could really use a blow job right now.":
6) "Where's your girlfriend?" (Boo! Hiss! Don't bring reality into my fantasy... and especially not reality with guilt! You're OUT of my will!)
5) "How much are you leaving me?" (Okay, I invited greed so no points deduction here. I told her I'd let her know.... after)
4) At a meeting:
Me: "Did you get my demented text?"
Her (whispering): "Honey, there's nothing demented about a blow job" (There could be if you used your imagination!)
3) "A blow job? That's all?" (Atta girl! Think outside the box! Or inside the box... well, you know)
2) "You should have texted me 5 minutes ago! I had one to spare but I gave it to my boyfriend!" (Extra credit for creativity and for playing along)
1) "Oh honey, I can't imagine how difficult things are for you. I'm out of town right now, or I'd be there for you." (Can you say "plane ticket is on me"?!?!?)