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rtpoe

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The things you can get on Amazon
« on: September 14, 2010, 03:32:58 AM »
Having been tipped off that there's a book available on Amazon that costs almost eight thousand dollars, I had to check it out. OK, it's a chemistry reference text. Those can be a bit pricey. Then I looked down at the reviews...

Chemical Shifts and Coupling Constants for Silicon-29 (Landolt-Börnstein: Numerical Data and Functional Relationships in Science and Technology - New Series / Condensed Matter) [Hardcover]
Radha Raman Gupta et al.

Price: $7,679.00

Sample review: "The NMR technique received its well-earned reputation in this book, but it didn't shine until the audiobook. Scott Brick's tour de force performance crackles with a resonance that does the NMR proud. Each nucleus is a distinct persona, rendered with a depth and pathos that reaches its climax of coupling that left this reviewer dazzled."

Looks like the whole Tuscan Milk saga again....

Anyway, here are some of the stranger things I found on Amazon - and some sample reviews from people who are far too silly....

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DRAMATIC NEW RUSSIAN SABLE FUR COAT FURS sz12 #22223
by Webfurs

Price: $46,500.00

"With this hot little number, you get it all: great fashion, a great price, and a great use of vicious weasels. What better way to preserve the precious lives of chipmunks, squirrels, mice, small birds, fish and other animals on which this carnivore feeds than to reduce the sable population, all the while making excellent use of the soft, warm, cozy pelt?"

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21' Preferred (All Aluminum) Bleachers (10 Rows)
by Athletic Connection

Price: $13,535.99
Sale: $11,182.68

"They are a bit bulky to get on planes. That makes it difficult to take them to the Macy's parade or the Rose Bowl Parade. However, with a little bit of planning you should have no problem. In fact, if you plan ahead and install seat belts you could maybe sell extra seats on the plane?

I certainly would suggest you splurge and go for the preferred bleachers as opposed to the non preferred bleachers. I tried those and no one preferred the non preferred bleachers."

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Uranium Ore
by Images SI Inc.

Price: $39.95

"Since the Libyans still hold the Plutonium I need for the Flux Capacitor, the Uranium Ore worked well. Only problem is I need to get the Delorian up to 99 miles an hour versus 88...no biggie."

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I *know* there's more crazy stuff out there. Anyone else find anything?
rtpoe

"Among the changing months, May stands confest
The sweetest, and in fairest colors dressed."

James Thompson, On May

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Shara

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Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #1 on: September 14, 2010, 10:25:54 AM »
lol some of the reviews there ;D more please
"I don't always approve of coup d'état, but when I do, it's by Shara." -LuvDemWhoppers

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RandomX

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Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2010, 11:28:23 AM »
My favorite has always been the milk (which you listed) and Three Wolf Moon.
100% real woman, with notarized documents and witnesses to back this claim up.

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rtpoe

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Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2010, 04:39:54 AM »
lol some of the reviews there ;D more please

I endeavor to please, my lady.

The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China [Download: PDF]  [Digital]
Icon Group International (Author)
$495.00

"I was deeply disappointed. There is nothing, NOTHING in here about the important statistic of splinters-per-square-centimeter-of-buttock. No pictures of Chinese buttocks, either, splinter-infested or not. No information on whether or not you can get the stains off the underside of the glazed wood (always an issue at our house) and the frequency of seat failures, in particular the split kind where the wood splits and LOOKS intact and you sit there but when you stand up, the blasted thing is pinching your buttocks and there you are, yelling for a bandaid, looking like a goob with a toilet seat stuck to your bum. Most unfortunate, and I expected this typical seat-fail-incident to be reported and given some statistical data. But, no."
rtpoe

"Among the changing months, May stands confest
The sweetest, and in fairest colors dressed."

James Thompson, On May

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Shara

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Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2010, 03:24:21 PM »
the worst part is one review links to the world edition 2007-2012, and there's a chinese 2007-2012 edition as well
"I don't always approve of coup d'état, but when I do, it's by Shara." -LuvDemWhoppers

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SwitcherX

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Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2010, 12:14:10 AM »
Switcher X
A.K.A. Tina Fey Eichmann

"Thank you herr professor Tina Fey Eichmann, nuclear brain surgeon and moustache jockey."
-- Mammeister


"SwitcherX, you were always Mammeister's favorite...you bastard."
-- Notty

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rtpoe

  • Old Fart
  • 10235
Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2010, 05:53:33 AM »
Inflatable Toast
Price: $2.99

"I highly recommend inflatable toast, however, I wish there was a whole wheat variety as I have been trying to be healthier these days."

"This item is almost exactly what I need except for the fact that it seems to come without a complimentary pat of inflatable butter. Who eats toast without butter. This seems like it could be a great product but it's completely useless without butter. Glad I realized this before I ordered. If you enjoy inflatable toast without butter this product would probably be fine."


4'33" by John Cage (MP3 download)
Price: $0.99

"I'm disappointed that this track is only available in MP3 format. This lossy compressed version sounds terrible, with missing high frequencies and distorted bass -- it really spoiled my listening pleasure."

"For best results, please listen in conjunction with AudioQuest K2 terminated speaker cable - UST plugs 8' (2.44m) pair . Any other evaluation will miss the mark."


AudioQuest K2 terminated speaker cable - UST plugs 8' (2.44m) pair
Price: $6,800
(The price doesn't seem to be an error. Check out some of the prices for AudioQuest cables at Best Buy...)

"We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives.

PLEASE! You must listen! We cannot maintain the link for long... I will type as fast as I can.

DO NOT USE THE CABLES!

We were fools, fools to develop such a thing! Sound was never meant to be this clear, this pure, this... accurate. For a few short days, we marveled. Then the... whispers... began.

Were they Aramaic? Hyperborean? Some even more ancient tongue, first spoken by elder races under the red light of dying suns far from here? We do not know, but somehow, slowly... we began to UNDERSTAND.

No, no, please! I don't want to remember! YOU WILL NOT MAKE ME REMEMBER! I saw brave men claw their own eyes out... oh, god, the screaming... the mobs of feral children feasting on corpses, the shadows MOVING, the fires burning in the air! The CHANTING!

WHY CAN'T I FORGET THE WORDS???

We live underground. We speak with our hands. We wear the earplugs all our lives.

Do not use the cables!"
rtpoe

"Among the changing months, May stands confest
The sweetest, and in fairest colors dressed."

James Thompson, On May

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rtpoe

  • Old Fart
  • 10235
Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #7 on: September 07, 2012, 01:47:48 AM »
Boinnngggg!!!

Birth Control is Sinful in the Christian Marriages and also Robbing God of Priesthood Children!! [Paperback]
Eliyzabeth Yanne Strong-Anderson (Author)

"BY THE WAY, HAS ANYONE NOTICED THAT THIS REVIEW IS TOTALLY IN CAPS? YEAH, I TOOK THIS WRITERS ADVICE AND I AGREE WITH HER. WRITING IN NOTHING BUT CAPITALS REALLY HELPS TO MAKE YOUR POINT MORE COMPELLING AND TRUTHFULL.

P.S. WHILE YOU'RE READING THIS YOU MIGHT EXPERIENCE SIDE EFFECTS SUCH AS HEARING TREES SCREAMING WHILE THEY'RE BEING MURDERED TO MAKE PAPER SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS BOOK EACH AND EVERY TIME YOU TURN THE PAGE. JUST IGNORE IT. THAT'S NORMAL WHEN YOU HOLD A BOOK LIKE THIS."



Emergency Reserve 90 Serving Breakfast, Lunch/Dinner Emergency Food Supply

"There were five of us which meant that this was only going to last us six days but now that there's only three we've got ten days (seven left by now but who's counting). Katie got so scared when they came and tried to get through the blockade last time so she's lying down now and having some of the macaroni and cheese meals (which are definitely her favorite, great that there's kid-friendly meals in there!) It's always a nice relief even when there's all the pounding and howling to just dig into a warm meal. Be sure you've got supplies to boil water though, because that's how we lost Craig. One of them is wearing the scraps of his clothes so we think he's one of them now. Not the best food but it's keeping us going and we're thankful for that!

Edit: changed rating to three stars, turns out they are attracted to the smell of cheese. I can barely bring myself to beat back the little pair of claws that scrapes underneath the door. Emily and I just tried the tomato basil soup and it's almost like we're back home. Emily thinks Katie can still hear her so I have to tie her up sometimes or else she'll let them in. Still overall a good product but docked two stars for causing the attack that made us lose Katie. Would buy again."

rtpoe

"Among the changing months, May stands confest
The sweetest, and in fairest colors dressed."

James Thompson, On May

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SwitcherX

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Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2012, 10:18:41 AM »
Does anyone know what ranks last in sales on Amazon?
Switcher X
A.K.A. Tina Fey Eichmann

"Thank you herr professor Tina Fey Eichmann, nuclear brain surgeon and moustache jockey."
-- Mammeister


"SwitcherX, you were always Mammeister's favorite...you bastard."
-- Notty

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gonZo

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Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2012, 11:49:41 AM »
The Kindle Fire Extinguisher.

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Cutter

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Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #10 on: September 08, 2012, 11:55:25 AM »
Point, Set, and Match to Gonzo.
Cutter

If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics SUCK!


My DVD   http://mightyo.site.aplus.net/ussclamagoretourdvd.com/

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rtpoe

  • Old Fart
  • 10235
Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #11 on: May 17, 2015, 02:25:52 AM »
Renova Toilet Paper - Black Tissue Roll (6 Roll Standard Pack)
$27.99

"As a loyal minion to the Commander-in-Chief of the Galactic Empire, I can attest to the sweet fragrance, strength and absorbency of this product: the Dark Lord of the Sith will countenance no other luxury bath tissue in his personal toilet chamber.

I deducted one star only because I fear being telekinetically throttled by Lord Vader unless new stock is received soon. "

Samsung UN105S9 Curved 105-Inch 4K Ultra HD 120Hz 3D Smart LED TV
$119,999.99 & FREE Shipping

"I was able to purchase this amazing television with an FHA loan (30 year fixed-rate w/ 4.25% APR) and only 3.5% down. This is, hands down, the best decision I've ever made. And the box it came in is incredibly roomy too, which is a huge bonus, because I live in it now."

"This monitor has really helped me overcome the indescribable social humiliation that comes along with tiny erection syndrome. Thanks to Samsung, my difficulties as far as performance is corcerned are now banished to the back of my mind due the overwhelming stress associated with the mortgage payments on my new TV."
rtpoe

"Among the changing months, May stands confest
The sweetest, and in fairest colors dressed."

James Thompson, On May

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Palomine

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Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #12 on: May 17, 2015, 08:06:51 PM »
I dislike Amazon as a company in particular, and have some general concerns about the social impact of instant-gratification/online shopping. While it may be good for capitalism, I don't think that it provides any net benefit to human beings.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2015, 08:09:06 PM by Palomine »

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pedonbio

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Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #13 on: May 17, 2015, 11:42:48 PM »
I dislike Amazon as a company in particular, and have some general concerns about the social impact of instant-gratification/online shopping. While it may be good for capitalism, I don't think that it provides any net benefit to human beings.

You are correct, Pal. Amazon spends more on security for Bezos that Microsoft spends for security period. He's a raving paranoid and he is rapidly turning Seattle into Detroit.
Someday, chi1dren, this entire fuck-up will be yours.

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rtpoe

  • Old Fart
  • 10235
Re: The things you can get on Amazon
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2015, 11:38:13 PM »
And he wants his company to have a fleet of surveillance delivery drones....
rtpoe

"Among the changing months, May stands confest
The sweetest, and in fairest colors dressed."

James Thompson, On May