[Grayface]

I found this on my hard drive.

THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF! - caps intentional

1.PEOPLE WHO POINT AT THEIR WRIST WHILE ASKING FOR THE TIME. I KNOW WHERE MY
WATCH IS BUDDY...WHERE THE FUCK IS YOURS? DO I POINT AT MY CROTCH WHEN I ASK
WHERE THE BATHROOM IS?

2.THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY IS WAY TOO HAPPY...CONSIDERING THAT HE DOESN'T
HAVE A DICK!!

3.PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO GET OFF THEIR ASS TO SEARCH THE ENTIRE ROOM FOR
THE DAMN TV REMOTE BECAUSE THEY REFUSE TO WALK TO THE TV AND
CHANGE IT MANUALLY!!

4.WHEN PEOPLE SAY..."OH,YOU JUST WANT TO HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT
TOO"...FUCK OFF!!!! WHAT GOOD IS A DAMN PIECE OF CAKE IF YOU CAN'T EAT IT?
WHAT SHOULD I DO...EAT SOMEONE ELSE'S PIECE OF CAKE INSTEAD?!?!?!?!

5.WHEN PEOPLE SAY..."IT'S ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK"...NO SHIT!!!!WHY
THE FUCK WOULD YOU KEEP LOOKING FOR IT AFTER YOU HAVE ALREADY FOUND IT?!?!?
DO PEOPLE DO THIS? WHO AND WHERE ARE THEY?

6.WHEN PEOPLE SAY, WHILE WATCHING A MOVIE..."DID YOU SEE THAT"... NO
DICKNOSE...I PAID $7.50 TO COME TO A THEATRE AND STARE AT THE FUCKING
CEILING UP THERE. WHAT DID YOU COME HERE FOR?

7.PEOPLE WHO ASK..."CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?"...DIDN"T REALLY GIVE ME A
CHOICE THERE DID YA BUDDY?

8.WHEN SOMETHING IS NEW AND IMPROVED' WHICH IS IT? IF IT'S NEW, THEN THERE
HAS NEVER BEEN ANYTHING BEFORE IT. IF IT'S AN IMPROVEMENT, THEN THERE MUST
HAVE BEEN SOMETHING BEFORE IT!

9.WHEN A COP PULLS YOU OVER AND THEN ASKS YOU IF YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU WERE
GOING? YOU SHOULD KNOW ASSHOLE...YOUR THE ONE THAT FUCKING PULLED ME
OVER!!!!!!!!!

HERE'S THE 10th THING THAT REALLY FUCKING BUGS ME...CHAIN LETTERS!!!!! WHO
THE HELL THINKS THAT BY ANNOYING OTHER
PEOPLE WITH STUPID MAIL WITH NO MEANING...THAT THAT WILL GRANT YOU A WISH..
OR MAKE YOUR LONG LOST LOVE FALL INTO YOUR ARMS....BULLSHIT!!! I AM SO SURE
THAT BY BREAKING A STUPID CHAIN LETTER THAT THE COMPUTER GODS ARE GOING TO
CURSE ME?? WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT!!!!!





 

[rtpoe]

LMAO

rtpoe  

[Catch]

You have the best version of No. 7 I've ever heard.

So good in fact it officially replaces my standard - "No! care to try again?".

[Zasha]

Yeah, and my husband gets pretty uptight when he comes home and there's a message on the machine reminding me of my OBGYN appointment, and asking if I could have a couple of drinks before I come in.

George Carlin RULES!!

Men over the age of 55 named "Skippy."

Automatic transmissions that upshift even when you put them in Low.

Guys that hover at the rack all night and only throw a single PER GIRL.

Guys that hover at the club and think that because they buy a lap dance or two, that I'll suddenly have an uncontrollable urge to have sex with them.

Guys that blow on my cookie.  What's that about, anyway?  "Oh, yeah, baby, that's REALLY turning me on!"

Guys in the club that get a little TOO grabby.  No, wait.  Actually, I kind of like that.  Just imagine being floored by a wristlock (very painful, but not harmful) applied by a naked chick!  The look of shock is to die for!  

Guys that ask me how much money I make.

Guys that tell me how much money they make.

 

[MunchWolf]

Yah know ... I'm guilty of #1, but it makes sense to me ...

I don't have a watch .. I don't carry a watch ... I don't like watches.  I do like knowing what time it is ... and usually I'm by myself, so I ask strangers ...

Now I can be a scary guy if you don't know me ... so I always want to make my intentions clear when I make a bee-line for someone, so I state loud and clear from a good distance away (so they have a chance to run if they want), "Do you know what time it is?" ... now usually this confuses people ... I don't know why .. it just does ... for some reason pointing at the wrist helps signify I'm not going to mug them ...

I do the same thing with smoking if I want to bum a light or a cig .. well, not the same thing .. for a light I make an upward flicking motion with my thumb in a closed fist ... like I had a lighter ... and for a cig I put 2 fingers up to my mouth as if I was smoking ...

This also seems to help the several non-english speaking people who hang around campus ... which I officially left yesterday .. I have begun my journey ...

Note: Making a hole with your left fist, and sticking your right index finger in and out, while asking, "Do you want to fuck?" is totally not acceptible ...


-Munch "At least it hasn't worked for me ... maybe I should be pointing at my crotch and gyrating" Wolf

[Zasha]

Yes, although sticking my finger into my cheek and pushing on the opposite cheek with my tongue while asking "Do you want a blow-job?" is totally acceptable...And always successfull...

[Catch]

Munch Wolf scary? Never!Maybe quircky and weird?  And almost always funny.How's it feel to be back in the Garden State?  

[Tux]

Some stuff that gets me personally:

People who smoke in their car and yet let their arm hang out most of the time the cig is burning while taking only about 5-8 drags.  I mean, like it really helps keep the smell and/or ash out of the car.

People who smoke in their S.U.V.s—like you aren't polluting enough!

People who smoke in their S.U.V.s and throw their cigarrettes out the window—if you've driven behind one at dusk in a car, the cigarette smacks your windshield and little glowing embers spread about, essentially frighting the **** out of you and nearly causing you to crash.

Being tailgated by any large vehicle (not just S.U.V.s)—I'm driving a vehicle which has 4-wheel anti-lock disc brakes that are much more powerful from the factory than the car really needs...back off!

Ricerockets—Could you modify your car to actually go fast instead of being ugly (it's can be done) and an embarrassment to the asian populous? (then again I usually break out in laughing fits when I see it and that's not such a bad thing)

Drivers who straddle the bike lane line for multiple blocks.  It's dangerous if you're a cyclist and rather annoying if you're in a car (you expect the person to turn when straddling the bike lane line).

SPAM!—If stuff like that were sent by regular mail I think laws against it would be passed.

Cops that ticket you for "not being in a marked space" when your left front tire is over the line towards the bushes in a corner parking spot (mind you that it does NEITHER obstruct the flow of vehicular or pedestrian traffic, nor does it endanger lives, nor does it pose any risk of lighting said shrubbery on fire).

People who drive the wrong direction on short stretch of heavily trafficked road (people coming out of the place where I'm supposed to enter to get onto an overpass).

Tall vehicles parked near/at corners—they make any intersection a blind intersection.


Well that's it for now.

[rtpoe]

Christmas ads before Halloween.

I know that retail is tough this year, but come on, people!

rtpoe  

[BigDaddy]

1.Political ads that try to give you the impression that this guys opponent is a [censored] **81**, America hating, anti-everything good,piece of crap who should be drawn and quartered, and then at the end they worm out of any direct responsibility for their accusations by saying that this ad is not endorsed or sponsored by the candidate or whatever...
2.Drivers who don't use turn signals.
3.Drivers who are attempting to merge that always have to merge in front of you, instead of behind you.
4.1200 page library books that you can only check out for 14 days with no renewals.
5.People who think that you can say any dumbass thing as long as they preface it with the remark "in my opinion"...
6.People who think that the best way to deal with bloodthirsty tyrants is to talk to them and negotiate...
7.TV specials on how they did all of the cool scenes in a movie that hasn't been released yet (i.e "The Two Towers").
8.People who fall for every weight loss fad,instead of understanding that the only way to lose weight and get healthy is to EAT LESS AND EXERCISE!!!
9."Belly shirts" on anyone with a belly.
10.People who still insist on judging others by their race, nationality,religion, or whatever.  People are individuals, you need to get to know them so that you can hate them in a more personal and satisfying way...
 
   

[Tux]

I would think that anyone with a belly would make just about any shirt a "belly shirt". ^_-

[MunchWolf]

Wow ... I'm surprised no one offered to stick Zasha's finger in her mouth while asking for a blow job .... she said it works ...

So, it's not my blog section .. oh fucking well ... since when does that stop me ...

I'm on the East Coast now ... Levittown, PA (borders Jersey, next to Trenton) ... and I am living at my sisters.

I've hooked up my machine, but I'm using her net access, so I have to be careful about visiting adult sites (ie, I can't do it during family gatherings).

I was jonesin tooo bad .. I just had to log on .. so here I am ... miss me?

Anything exciting happen this past week or two???  I've been busy ...

There are still people out here I need to find ... I think Chev lives less than an hour away ... and I'm not sure how far Juliekat and BA are ...

Ya know Catch ... part of me thinks we should have grabbed lunch or something while I was still out there ... maybe next time I visit (god knows when) we can meet ...

Well .. it will probably be a week until I log on for another net-fix ...

I've cut my comics down to 1 a day (from 50) ... I haven't had a cig in a week ... and well .. let's just say with the inquistive 5 year old always running around I don't get any 'personal time' ... so I am NOT looking at pictures or reading any stories or anything like that ...

-Munch "Unka Kirk" Wolf
 

[Zasha]

I missed you Munchie...You're fun to play with...I'll get you to explode, yet...

I know how it goes with the relatives around...Some of us have to tone it down a bit...But thank Steve for Airport and PowerBooks in bed!!

And yes, there were comments...  

[MunchWolf]

Ya know ... since I've been celibate for voer a week now, almost anything could cause me to 'explode' ... so I'm glad no extremely attractive, very busty women know that I live in Levittown, PA, or things could get messy ...

-Munch "and my phone number is .... oh, I've done that gag???" Wolf

[Zasha]

Oh, you poor thing...

Hey!  Your location thingy says that you were in Indiana...I never tumbled to that, or I would have sent you to Shipshewana...I know a yummy girl there...Like Tone Loc said, "She's good to go..."

Hmmm...I guess that really didn't help, did it?