Post by: Leviathan on January 28, 2002, 01:58:00 AM
Post by: Blake Isaac Gordon on January 28, 2002, 07:03:00 PM
Awsuume^^^movie... Hotties in corsets...
YUM!
Post by: Kanodin on January 29, 2002, 01:00:00 AM
Wait... is that in Brotherhood of the Wolf or Enter the Fist?
[ January 29, 2002: Message edited by: Kanodin ]
Post by: **DONOTDELETE** on January 29, 2002, 12:58:00 PM
-Munch "If you can't sell spoiled food in a restuarant, then bad movies should not be allowed in the theaters" Wolf
Post by: Leviathan on January 29, 2002, 02:49:00 PM
I saw Kung Pow this weekend, and yes, it was the absolute worst movie I have ever seen. It was worse than Wing Commander, than Street Fighter, than Kull the Conquerer, than Blair Witch.... you're starting to get the idea? We're talking so bad that there are points where you're sitting there watching the movie, wondering if it could possibly get any worse. Leaning over to the stranger next to you and whispering, "This sucks, doesn't it?"
However, for some reason, that's the whole reason I liked it. I've even got friends who have gone back to see it twice, and brought more friends just to see their reactions. This is the kind of movie that will make your hurt with laughter just because it's so bad.
Maybe I'm the weird one here, but movies like this only come around once a few years. I think it will be another cult classic, like Monty Python's Search for the Holy Grail. Say what you will, but I think you guys should go watch it. And look for the "uni-boob" girl to show up.
Post by: Prophet_Tenebrae on January 29, 2002, 07:53:00 PM
Post by: **DONOTDELETE** on January 30, 2002, 01:32:00 AM
-Munch "Nothing is Fantasy Mission Force bad" Wolf
Post by: Fret Pearson on January 30, 2002, 03:51:00 AM
I believe the correct phrase is, "it sucks the farts out of dead cats."
Fret
Post by: Blake Isaac Gordon on January 30, 2002, 06:40:00 AM
I Liked Soldier! (Unless you were thinking of Universal Soldier...now that was weak.)
Post by: **DONOTDELETE** on January 30, 2002, 11:01:00 AM
Universal Soldier was neat... (not the sequel though, that sucked) I mean, it's got zombie cyborgs in it. 
Post by: Leviathan on January 30, 2002, 12:06:00 PM
Post by: JH_ on January 30, 2002, 12:28:00 PM
Post by: Prophet_Tenebrae on January 31, 2002, 01:31:00 AM
Species 2 was worse though.
Of course for the definitive bad movies we should consult the Bible - no, not an irrelevant 2000+ year Christian text: www.badmovies.org
Some movies there can never be made good - no matter what drugs cocktail you've taken before watching them.
But remember [censored] - winners don't do drugs.
Post by: Chuck on January 31, 2002, 01:38:00 AM
The worst movies are the ones that aren't fun. They aren't bad in a "Plan 9" way or a "Battlefield Earth" way or an "Island of Dr. Moreau" way (where you can say 'what were they thinking' and laugh), but rather are bad in a way that makes you say 'I hope to God I never have to sit through anything like that again.'
My example is "Batman and Robin", which is the only movie I have ever came close to walking out of.
-Chuckster
P.S. To the person who said the Bible is irrelevant: let's see how your life holds up after 2000 years. Ciao!
Post by: Leviathan on January 30, 2002, 02:19:00 PM
I agree that some bad movies can actually be really fun to talk about & laugh at.
Probably the worst movie that I have ever seen with some (psycho) redeeming value was Twilight of the Cockroaches. It's one of those cartoons spliced into real life vidoes. It's sort of a "bug's life" except with cockroaches instead of ants. All the scenery is of kitchen floors, toilets, sinks, etc... It tries to parrallel the "struggling and ultimately meaningless lives" of the cockroaches to humans. It all comes to an end when the cockraoches, who are about to be fumigated, decide to put up a futile, desperate struggle against the humans, culminating in the "elder" roach flying across the room and getting swatted against the wall.
It's weird, boring as hell, and a little disgusting. But if you try to get past the fact that it's cartoon, and it's roaches (!), then it tells a pretty good story.
Post by: Arnisboy on January 31, 2002, 03:44:00 AM
Post by: Palomine on January 31, 2002, 04:14:00 AM
How was the UniBoob gal.. in the brief trailer clip, she looked a bit like Minka.
Post by: Chuck on January 31, 2002, 05:23:00 AM
At the end of the movie, the camera pulls out and it is revealed that the actors are all people playing D&D. Thus all the foolishness in the movie is ok - it's just some knucklehead D&D players.
I thought that would have been a nice touch.
-Chuckster
Post by: Leviathan on January 31, 2002, 08:41:00 AM
Post by: **DONOTDELETE** on February 01, 2002, 02:33:00 AM
A few years ago, a total stinker of a movie was marketed in Italy under the name "Dungeons and Dragons", with much hype around it for a couple of months before. You can imagine a bunch of RPG players going to see it and puke on the cinema's doorsteps on the way out.
Why do I say that it gets worse? Because the title had been deviously changed in the translation from English to Italian... the movie was actually QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS!
Since they made a MST3K episode out of it I don't think I have to say more.
Post by: Adama on February 01, 2002, 08:29:00 PM
The only movie I ever wanted to walk out of was a version of "Hercules" that starred Lou Ferrigno.
Movies so bad they're good -- isn't the all-time classic "Attack of the Killer Tomatos"? Though that movie was bad on purpose.
Post by: **DONOTDELETE** on February 01, 2002, 09:14:00 PM
Post by: Leviathan on February 01, 2002, 10:07:00 PM
Post by: Number6 on February 02, 2002, 12:17:00 AM
Side note (to Conrad): So THAT's how the universal greeting is spelled. Don't forget to hand out those energon goodies (hope you have enough for everyone)!
Post by: MBunny on February 03, 2002, 10:01:00 PM
Post by: Kanodin on February 04, 2002, 04:02:00 AM
Look, it's the constellation feces!
How about:
Jeepers Creepers?
Dead Weekend?
Zardoz?
Vampire Bat?
The Terror of Tiny Town?
I Spit On Your Grave?
Shaolin Dolemite?
Christmas Evil?
Petticoat Planet?
Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend?
Laserblast?
Any takers?
Post by: **DONOTDELETE** on February 04, 2002, 05:05:00 AM
For today's stinker I propose ROBOT JOX (sic), a 1991 movie about the cold war (and even here.... hello? watch the news?) as fought in arenas with giant robots that scream stop motion from far far away. Look for the Arbiter Platform, which is visibly a repainted Captain Power toy, and see how many mecha anime toy parts you can recognize in the robots. The only good-ish thing about this movie is that the robots' mechanisms are reasonably realistic and that the Russian champion eventually wins (although victory is awarded to the Americans due to his vicious conduct).
Look for it at badmovies.org or wherever!
Post by: **DONOTDELETE** on February 05, 2002, 01:32:00 AM
as mike once said in an old western film yeah the sherrifs office is down the street 3rd dead body on your right. oh ok thanks. AHH! Its a dead body.
Post by: Byz on February 05, 2002, 01:49:00 AM
You have to go into a movie like that like you would Dumb and Dumber. I loved it and laughed through the whole thing. They were making fun of all bad kung fu movies. This was an actual movie ("Savage Killers") that they bluescreened Steve Oedekirk into. They made fun of the bad editing, voice-overs, film quality, and other characteristics that most kung-fu movies (including some Bruce Lee movies) had. If you like Dumb and Dumber, MST3K, any Monty Python and have seen any bad kung-fu movies, this will make you pee your pants. If you're looking for something good, serious, or not silly at all, don't go see it.
It takes talent to skillfully make fun of something.
Hope this helps,
Byz
Post by: midsize on February 04, 2002, 09:16:00 PM
I've been reading this thread, racking my brain to think of my all-time stinkers, and I really can't come up with a list. I've seen many bad movies, but usually because I wanted to -- I expected them to be bad, and was prepared for it, so they just lived up to expectations. I guess for me, a really bad movie is one that ought to be good, but fails. Perhaps the two classic examples for my generation are "Heaven's Gate" and "Ishtar".
Let's face it, what do you really expect from "Bikini Car Wash" or "Hercules in New York"? I agree totally with those who say that bad movies are often really funny -- campy bad -- but truly bad movies are BORING. I can tolerate watching Ahnold stagger through his two words of English in "Hercules in NY", or some poor slob trying to make a movie with $500 because even though the effects are cheesy, the acting dismal, and the story weak, they're just trying so damn hard that you gotta love 'em.
I know this'll create some controversy, but my candidate for the worst movie I've seen recently is "The Mexican". It felt like it was 5 hours long -- I was almost in tears, begging for it to end. A long time ago Gregory Peck made a movie called "MacArthur" that was excruciatingly boring. It's the only movie I've ever seen that succeeded in making WWII dull! To be honest, I despise(d) the latest "Star Wars" for the same reasons: it was a transparent marketing scheme devoid of originality, many (all?) of the 'stars' mailed in their performances -- was Liam Neeson on quaaludes the whole time? -- and it even succeeded in being racially offensive. Considering its budget, cast, and director, it was really BAD.
So, I guess I can't name my all-time worst movie -- frankly, I can't even begin to remember all the movies, good or bad, I've seen -- but I can say that for me, badness is a function of potential.
Post by: Leviathan on February 04, 2002, 10:42:00 PM
I agree with your summation of Star Wars. But it's funny, I was only a bit dissapointed in it after I started hearing all the other people who were dissapointed. I wonder if my dissapointment stems from "brainwashing" or whether I made up my own mind about that movie.
I still maintain, though, that Blair Witch was the worst movie I ever paid money to see. Jeepers Creepers would come in second.
Post by: JigSaw on February 05, 2002, 05:57:00 AM
Blair Witch I thought was okay (yes a little silly and very over acted) up until the very end when it went from a so so movie to a real turd. The ending of the movie was completly retarted. One of the truely bad movies. Thumbs way down.
But the worst movie I paid money for and wanted to strangle someone over was Highlander II (The Quickning). They took the idea from the original movie, a very good movie, and put it on its ear and flushed it. I can never remember being more displeased with a movie. Now they did put out a recut version that was much improved but it would be unable to crawl its way out of the gutter.
[ February 05, 2002: Message edited by: JigSaw ]
Post by: Leviathan on February 06, 2002, 01:32:00 AM
Post by: JigSaw on February 05, 2002, 02:51:00 PM
Post by: Chuck on November 18, 2014, 09:47:53 PM
Odenkirk went on to write for Simpsons.