Breast Expansion Archive Forum
Miscellaneous => Off-Topic & Testing => Topic started by: Omega72 on July 06, 2011, 11:30:02 AM
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For awhile now, I was trying to get a Girlfriend but I'm at the point of giving up. The girls I've tried to date either have a-hole boyfriends that they love or just palin-crazy.
Just recently, I tried to ask a girl out and got the response of "I'd rather go gay then go out with you". I don't know what to do at this point, I feel so miserable as of lately between other stuff going on with my life I just can't seem to get ahead enough to feel comfortable lately and that just put the nail in the coffin.
So, what can I do?
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I appreciate your coining the term "Palin-crazy."
How old are you? Because offhand I know no way of buffering the pain of this for the young. I'm fifty now, but I can recall how my universe could wilt if a girl (pause) friend failed to smile at me as she passed by. The problem being, if I even try to commiserate or advise, some kind of generation gap may get in the way of my trying to help. So if you're young, you may simply need to wait for a younger Forum member. All that I can say is that when you're young, it can seem to some of us that love is easy and sex is impossible, but as you get older it feels more like the reverse -- not that sex is that much easier, but love proves itself to be highly elusive.
Take honest stock of yourself. Are you a very narrowly defined, highly idiosyncratic sort of person, or do you consider yourself more a regular guy, perhaps well-nigh generic? If you consider yourself pretty regular, your prospects are good; if you're a very specific, particular person, this is going to take work. I'm an extremely specific personality, a class pretty much unto myself, and only after the age of thirty did that start paying off.
By the way, I almost had that happen to me. I was dating a woman who was VERY feminist -- reasonably feminist is great, but she was ultra -- and we got along well enough and yet, after hearing her out after a couple of dates, I put to her the question "So, according to you, what GOOD are men?" And she couldn't answer -- not even with me around (I mean, she could have been nice enough to try). So I didn't "turn" her from men, but I was her final phase in rejecting men altogether. She wasn't that great a loss, and I have to chuckle as I recall this -- but yes, women do suggest that sort of thing.
Always remember that there is no shame in masturbation -- which, after all, is what this place is largely about. If you're serious about this, though, be ready to share one hell of a lot more specifics. Are you young, or older? Unemployed, underemployed, successful? How adequately do you groom and dress? None of these specific superficial details are going to guarantee anything all by themselves -- but if you manage enough of them, you'll at least be on the radar screen.
That's about it for now. Best luck.
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I'd still probably be in the same boat, but I was lucky, and I can't really say anything I did could guarantee the same results. I'm a pretty 'sensitive' guy, the sort that had girls in school thinking I was gay. The sort that women usually adore, but don't actually want to go out with.
Anyway, Harmony and I were friends on another forum for almost a year, when we discovered that we lived about an hour apart. One day we decided to talk on the phone, and the next she called and asked if I could meet her at a mall about halfway, since she had to drop off her roommate at work anyway. Long story short, she moved in and we got married after a few months. Just had our 4th anniversary actually. We just fit in a lot of ways, but I do have to say she's not what I was looking for. She's not a 'ten' in a conventional sort of way, but she tries to be, and that's what matters to me I think.
Anyway, you're probably better off working toward the person you want to be, and she'll show up when you're not looking. It sounds lame, but it sometimes works (worst case, you've improved yourself when you decide you need to look). Reminds me of a line I heard on Red vs Blue of all places, "A good love is like a good memory. When it's there, and you know it's there, but it's just out of your reach, it can be all that you think about. You can focus on it, try to force it, but the more you do, the more you seem to push it away. But if you're patient, and you hold still, maybe, just maybe, it'll come to you."
Bleh, I suck. XD
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So, who is going to be brave enough to bring up the old "be yourself" bullshit?
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I'm 27, got a good job.
I used to look like a hobo but I cleaned myself up. Started using face scrubbers and got rid of most of the acne I had except for a few scars, also started dressing better and stopped hitting the clearance racks :)
She wasn't that great looking anyway, just wanted to try.
I'll try again
I appericate the replies.
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Women pick up on desperation and they don't like it. For a large majority of women (thank God), it's not so much about your looks or the way you dress or anything.. other than basic personal hygiene. As long as you aren't gross, most women see right through your appearance and lock in on your personality. And desperation is nasty.. you need to switch gears, and quick.
First of all, it sounds like you are chasing the wrong women. At your age, you should be worried about one thing only, and that is HER personality. Quit going after the hot or semi-hot chicks. I'm absolutely serious. Quit looking for a soul-mate and start looking for a friend. It won't work in the long run unless you are best friends anyways.
Let me ask you this question. Would you rather have a hot chick with big boobs who is a bitch and treats you like shit.. or would you rather have a not-so-hot woman, who shares all of your interests, loves you for who you are and would even change herself to better match your fantasies?
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the second option
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So, who is going to be brave enough to bring up the old "be yourself" bullshit?
That's exactly why I asked him if he's a "specific" or "generic" person, because in my experience some of us need to work harder -- and I wouldn't mind hearing his answer.
As to choosing the second option: bravo! Men can drive themselves nuts their whole lives trying to find an exact "look" when the woman inside that look is unreliable. One of the hottest women I ever hooked up with turned out to be bipolar and, on a whim, destroyed the original manuscript of the first story I ever wrote. You've just saved yourself a lot of hassle.
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Let me ask you this question. Would you rather have a hot chick with big boobs who is a bitch and treats you like shit.. or would you rather have a not-so-hot woman, who shares all of your interests, loves you for who you are and would even change herself to better match your fantasies?
I'm sure that Belle has given you sound advice.
Now, let me discuss the alternative. First, remember what Bette Midler said: "Your Twenties are for **83** with all the wrong people." And you need to get cracking!
Next, look up a thread in this forum titled "Relationship Advice". It has some Youtube clips of Dan Savage. Dan is gay, but his advice applies to all relationships. In one of those clips he talks about finding a long-term relationship, if that's what you're interested in. You find that, he says, by having a whole bunch of one-nighters*. Which leads to my next topic.
Next, don't knock hooking up with a few nasty bitches until you've tried it. So long as it stays below a lethal level, it can be a turn-on.
Curiosity is a wonderful thing, and I always suggest that people explore. Hell, I even found a couple of pretty hot Republicans, though I knew they weren't gonna go anywhere. Women are as different as men in bed, and it's fun to find out. I mean, a lot depends on where you live--On the West Coast we're all sluts; Alabama, not so much. Mississippi I'm not sure about; ask gOOber.
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*--Personally, I preferred the "few dayers" or the "one weekers", but I'm an old romantic.
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Mississippi I'm not sure about; ask gOOber.
I say all women are fair game providing they are of legal age and not first cousins. ;)
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I say all women are fair game providing they are of legal age and not first cousins. ;)
Speaking of.. we were watching Jane Austin's "Mansfield Park" the other night.. and did you know that the two main characters that end up together at the end of the story (Fanny and Edmund) are 1st cousins? I guess that back in 1814 that was considered ok.
Also, in "Pride and Prejudice", the younger sister, Lydia runs off and elopes at the ripe old age of 15.
Seems to me, Goob, if you were born 200 years ago.. you could revise your list to say, "all women are fair game" and end the sentence right there.
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For awhile now, I was trying to get a Girlfriend but I'm at the point of giving up. The girls I've tried to date either have a-hole boyfriends that they love or just palin-crazy.
Just recently, I tried to ask a girl out and got the response of "I'd rather go gay then go out with you". I don't know what to do at this point, I feel so miserable as of lately between other stuff going on with my life I just can't seem to get ahead enough to feel comfortable lately and that just put the nail in the coffin.
So, what can I do?
Oh. Boy.
First and foremost Omega72: I empathize, I really do.
Any guy can feel lonely and blue (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3RTyfwvmlo&feature=related) ...even the Brad-Pittiest fellow amongst us has those occasional stretches now and then when he can't get no play whatsoever: he might as well be Urkel for all the girlie action he's not gettin' ahold of (double negative very much intended). Wistful car song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djjw3BKUV28)s be damned: when you crave companionship, being alone ain't romantic, or noble, or character-building. It just sucks.
Though I'm no Brad Pitt, I'm not exactly a troll either: I don't live under a bridge, demand tolls or eat mutton on anything like a regular basis. I like to think of myself (perhaps generously?) as being roughly halfway between the aforementioned Mr. Pitt and say... Ernest Borgnine (whom I've seen in person and can state for the record that he's not quite troll-like himself ...but I'll put him on the other side of the bell curve simply because he's a common reference and pretty far from the usual ideal of masculine sex appeal personified). So, I'll just go ahead and plunk myself down in the middle of the spectrum mannish-eye-candy-wise... looking more or less like Jon Stewart's second cousin or something.
That relative regularness, coupled with my various positive qualities (that I shan't enumerate here lest my head swell so much that vaseline (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LwygUgSYig) be required for me to pass through doorways) has, on occasion, provided me with the opportunity to procure some genuinely-first-class trim. More than once, I've frankly marveled at my own good fortune, wondering to myself "how the fuck is a girl like THIS... so gorgeous, so sweet, so smart and so gainfully employed... how is SHE managing to smile (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBV7wRtn-J4) at ME... of ALL people... WHILE my hot fresh DNA is splattered all over her pretty face and ample breasts?!" Sometimes I can't believe my luck.
So, suffice it to say that I've dated out of my league a few times... which, given my age isn't all that impressive... the odds work in your favor every now and then if you manage to stay awake and actually leave the house often enough. You strike out sometimes, and then there are the girls who like you that you've literally no interest at all in penetrating, and then... once in a while, when all the planets line up, you make a connection (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzkTcGnVf2g&NR=1) with someone special and wind up spending a few weeks or years sharing omelettes, trips to the dog park, visits with parents, cheesy rock and roll (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MUtnMgOT0w&playnext=1&list=PLFAF4A8B4C6DEE21E) songs and body fluids.
More relevant though is the fact that I've had some girlfriends... some really nice girlfriends... in spite of the fact that what you typed could very well have come from my own keyboard at various points over the years, especially in my youth. Believe me, we all know how you're feeling: alone and unwanted and forever destined to remain that way as if the fates themselves were conspiring to keep your dick forever dry. Your skin breaks out, you stutter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc8hEWkQ0io&feature=related) ...you practically choke on your own tongue and inexplicably reek of garlic... how else to explain the less-than-enthusiastic response that your advances elicit from the fairer sex (many of whom aren't really all that fair, but that's a topic for another day).
The fact of the matter is that though it's a truly horrid cliché... one so revolting and expected that you can't help but feel your eyes roll back into your skull upon hearing it... there IS someone out there for everyone. Even the most repugnant and wretched fellow: that sub-human (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WX0LoOeZFsk&feature=related) guy who still hasn't caught on to that hygiene and grooming thing... you know, the one who's mere **103** into a room of breeding-age women can instantly cause all vaginas to dry up within a 65 foot radius... even that guy can 'get a little' IF he's A) persistent, B) realistic and C) able to walk upright and speak in semi-complete sentences at least half the time.
Which brings us back to you: tired of waking up (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg5rwkBH-Ks&feature=related) alone over and over again. Always in the line up (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul6XBsLLAFY&feature=related) but never chosen. Forever seeking your very own Annie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0cvlCNXCx8&feature=related) but winding up spending the party in the kitchen with Sandy while some other dude chats up the object of your affection prior to the all nighter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTOXNA3yqGY&feature=related) they're about to share once he matter-of-factly says to her: 'your arse, my place.' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxtyZhASlhU&feature=related) So, you wind up barking like a mad dog (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFsyuOYIVVA&feature=related) in online forums like this one, seeking an explanation, a solution, maybe even just some solace? All perfectly understandable frustrations on your part... maybe even sufficient to warrant the momentary contemplation of suicide (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkYZ377k8-0) when it all seems a bit too much.
So, some feedback for you:
First, stop trying to date girls who already have boyfriends, whether said boyfriends happen to be assholes or not. Aside from the very bad karma such behavior invites (nay: demands!) the fact of the matter is that at that particular moment, those specific girls are off the market and unless you happen to be Brad Pitt or some reasonable facsimile thereof, the odds of any of those girls deciding to deviate from the social norms of monogamy (i.e.: break up with or cheat on their boyfriends with you) are somewhere between slim and none. Impossible? No. Very, very unlikely? Yes. If you're going to piss into the wind you've got no right to be surprised when your pants end up wet.
Second, kudos on coining 'palin-crazy' and let me echo and elaborate upon the opinion alluded to earlier that in reasonable doses, crazy can be charming, endearing and (pardon yet another cliché) sometimes even great in bed too. So, before you turn up your freshly-exfoliated nose at that oh-so-cute-but-maybe-slightly-less-than-stable chick at the bar, ask yourself: if she were never here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AavpQBJjZqM&feature=related) wouldn't the potential evening the two of you might share be a hell of a lot less interesting? She might have those freaky Grinch-who-stole-Christmas eyes and mutter 'Da Da Da' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd1h9IgJW68&feature=related) under her breath between shots of vodka & schnapps but what. the. fuck?! Are you planning on running for President or something and just forgot to mention it? As long as the odds are that you're not going to wake up in the morning in a motel bathtub missing a kidney, why NOT give that 'palin-crazy' cutie a spin? Worse case scenario: you wind up home alone again yanking your crank in front of the magic porn machine. Best case scenario: you discover she's a nympho with a 180 IQ and a trust fund big enough to choke Linda Lovelace. So, what's there to lose? (Heck, if you're going to take a pass, have her drop me a PM: my sex (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jug2yCNVG40) life could do with a change of pace! ;) ).
Thirdly and lastly, regarding the gal who professed that she'd rather spend her life muff diving instead of giving you the time of day... fuck her! Not literally (though I gather a grudge-fuck can be satisfying, I've never sampled one myself) but figuratively. How could her opinion of your spongeworthiness really mean anything at all in the grand scheme of things and thus, why should it carry any weight with you? After all, she's demonstrated that she's that absolutely no good (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtAJskzsyso&playnext=1&list=PLE8D7AEE38A5D9787) sort of person who, for reasons unknown, would go out of her way to needlessly hurt another human being. The bitch don't work! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSyGjPd-RKo&feature=related) Thus, why should you expend even an iota of consideration regarding anything she might say regarding you, the universe or anything else whatsoever? Forget her and any others like her.... the sooner the better.
OK, you're having a bad day/week/year... I get it. Heck, I'm usually not quite sure why I bother to get out of bed 3 mornings out of 4. But take it from me: the law of averages is on your side Omega72... keep up with the decent clothes and grooming, ignore abusive gonifs and keep on leaving the house on a regular basis. You do that and eventually (probably when you least expect it) some pretty chicky is going to warm up to you like a generator (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpukTTTaI1A&feature=related) running at 110% capacity. Lest you think these are merely empty platitudes, let me assure you that I operate (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaWUUCRV73A&feature=related) from experience AND have the law of averages backing me up: the odds are better than even, perhaps as good as 2:1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHlypG2kJuc) that before too long (not as soon as you'd like but probably sooner than you think) you'll be happily ensconced in some girl's heart and orifices on a more-or-less regular basis. And you'll realize that yes, finally: you're ok. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HobxoOMB8sw&feature=related)
Then you can come back here and complain about how it's such a drag being in a relationship. ;)
Good luck! :D
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For awhile now, I was trying to get a Girlfriend but I'm at the point of giving up. The girls I've tried to date either have a-hole boyfriends that they love or just palin-crazy.
Just recently, I tried to ask a girl out and got the response of "I'd rather go gay then go out with you". I don't know what to do at this point, I feel so miserable as of lately between other stuff going on with my life I just can't seem to get ahead enough to feel comfortable lately and that just put the nail in the coffin.
So, what can I do?
That response doesn't sound mature, if anything sounds like a person detach from the living. I think getting out and doing things you enjoy would find the person right for you. I have been pretty successful with avid book reader in spite of my grasp of a proper sentence. I think it is because more people tend to take the hi-tech way of communicating and can easily tune you out and change channel and don't take the time to get to know anyone deeply. As of old fashion book reader take the time to see that things aren't always what they seem to be when they get to know the character. When I teach Tai Chi, I often get the weirdest people in my class that are on heavy medication. Not the best first impression, but after a while they become my friend and I can look past that and actually see them for who they are.
My experience of dating a so-so looking person over the most attractive one is wrong. It's the most attractive one that treats me the best, but what I found is that what I consider is attractive is not that great to others. So the only thing I can think of is that the personality somehow mingle with my eye's perception. I got that shallow Hal treatment from a hypnotist, but I cant recall that ever took place. I am okay being alone, and consider anything more is a gift. It as not a tangible bond, but a spiritual one, but in the end you go alone, but take with you the spiritual essence of all your life experience.
One thing I notice about Jane Austin is that most of her character had enough wealth to sit around and ponder about relationship, where as the hard working people didn't have time to be complicated by affairs.
Cant say that this was any help, but that I hope I don't end up with a person who had the audacity to say "I'd rather go gay then go out with you" to another person. I think you were spared from that one.
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Anyway, you're probably better off working toward the person you want to be, and she'll show up when you're not looking.
Quoted, as it bears repeating.
Please tell me you're not hanging out at bars trying to compete for the attentions of women. If you've done this 100 times with no success, time to quit it. At least for the time being.
Go do something YOU want to do. Like take a cooking class, or a foreign language course. Or see whether there's a small art gallery offering a private wine + cheese + closed door art showing, the sort of thing where you pay a fee. Try sailing if it's in your area. Or river rafting. Or a motorcycle safety course.
Just... something. Something which caters to small groups of 5-30 people. Change it up a little. Spend money on yourself, enjoying things YOU enjoy doing. Chances are good that if there are women there, they're there because they're interested in doing the same thing. Congratulations, you've found common ground outside of music, dancing and doing shots of peppermint schnapps.
Coming at this from another perspective, there's a certain attitude worth developing: the cocky/confident.
Also, were you raised to treat all women with incredible respect, like they can do no wrong? That saying anything vulgar around them will cause your/their world to turn brittle? (I ask, because I can relate.) Not saying you need to belittle them, but it's surprising when you find the ones who talk the way you talk, the ones who think the way you think.
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I didn't think I would get this many replies from my post. The "Palin-Crazy" phrase just came to me :)
Dragonfly, I was raised to treat woman with respect........but I've shot my mouth off alot over time in front of them.
I've went to bars, but never tried to pick up a bar wench. The bars around here and some of the woman that go to the bars should have collars with ID tags on them. I went on Friday with a friend and the pickings weren't even slim, they were none even in my species :)
The funny thing is I found out AFTER they went out with me they had boyfriends that were so horrible I couldn't see why they liked them. But meanwhile, it's like they all shared the syndrome of "Asshole Boyfrienditsh"
"I'm working, boyfriend collecting and sitting on this ass not doing nothing but I love him. Had fun Though :( "
At this point, I've been spending money on myself. Bought some new shirts, pants are on the next trip to better Mall up in Wilkes-Barre. Where I live you gotta drive about an half hour or more just to get to a good mall that at least has some life. It's boring to be walking around in a dead mall like something would find in an old zombie movie.
I'm not looking for a big breasted girl, just someone to hang out with. It gets old to just drive somewhere by yourself, hang out by yourself and hanging out with some of my friends has became a problem due to the fact they are broke and then when they see me......I can see the loan me money stare and try to avoid them now.
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Wilkes-Barre, eh? I salute a fellow Pennsylvanian. 8) I'm a Pittsburgher myself.
As a kid my father got dragged by my rather gypsylike grandfather throughout the small towns of West Virginia (in fact I was born in West Virginia, and take heart from Jennifer Garner having done the same) and never really connected with anyone, and I mean anyone, as simply a friend, male, female, whatever. It was not until he met my mother in, of all places, a wintry Air Force base bordering Canada, that he ever really clicked with anyone.
I of course am not recommending that you join the military, but there is something to pulling yourself out of the small town rut and injecting yourself into a larger community. This is particularly easy now in the computer age, though the trustworthiness on online communities is yours to discern. Back in the Nineties I formed one very fine relationship, still pretty amicable, which kept me in good stead for four years, and that was through a laid-back dating service using good old snail-mail postal correspondence.
The machinery of destiny rarely promises to deliver your mate to your doorstep, or even a nearby mall. This is the age of the search engine. I'd say, go engineer a search.
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Actually, Native New Yorker that moved up here years ago. I still have the New York accent that people think is fake, which it's not.
I got hooked up on a blind date once from my sister, let's just say that didn't go well and the girl didn't really have much of a brain when it came to talking. I was surprised more when she picked up her cellphone to call her boyfriend that was over in Iraq at the time ::)
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The funny thing is I found out AFTER they went out with me they had boyfriends that were so horrible I couldn't see why they liked them. But meanwhile, it's like they all shared the syndrome of "Asshole Boyfrienditsh"
"I'm working, boyfriend collecting and sitting on this ass not doing nothing but I love him. Had fun Though :( "
I got hooked up on a blind date once from my sister, let's just say that didn't go well and the girl didn't really have much of a brain when it came to talking. I was surprised more when she picked up her cellphone to call her boyfriend that was over in Iraq at the time ::)
First, your sister shouldn't have hooked you up with someone who, as it turns out, felt she was still in a committed relationship with someone else. Unless your sister didn't know, which is possible.
Second, I'm reminded of the Tenets of Tom Leykis. Things like a) don't date someone who is in a relationship with someone else (you end up paying for her dinner/entertainment, she goes off to bang someone else), b) her cell phone needs to be shut off while on a date, if it rings and she starts in with the gab-fest (especially if it's her actual boyfriend), you excuse yourself to the washroom and ditch her (with the bill, if possible).
There was another Tom Leykis rule which would fit here, but it's escaping me at the moment. Hmm.
No need to go hang out by yourself. I know from my own experience how old that can get. Just find something (as mentioned in my previous post) which interests you. You spend your money on yourself and your interests (ideally something which might be more likely to draw in women also looking to check out something fresh), and then just take it from there. The worst that can happen is you've learned more about the things which interest you. If you go to a bar, you're already starting out from a bad position, as the women there know you're not just there to enjoy the fine entertainment and savor the amazing wines.
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The bars around here and some of the woman that go to the bars should have collars with ID tags on them. I went on Friday with a friend and the pickings weren't even slim, they were none even in my species :)
I was entirely on your side, and trying to think how to help, until I read this. I find it odd that bars where you live attract unusually unattractive women.
I suspect that they instead attract a cross-section that is common to the rest of the country, and that you may have an attitude problem. Yes, we'd all like to be with magazine models. I've had the good fortune to date some myself, as well as some strippers. Except for one, as soon as they opened their mouths their brains fell out. Just my own experience, and if you ever hook up with a hottie, I hope you find the complete package.
Meanwhile -- maybe dial down your expectations? Or at least set aside the attitude. It's really unattractive to women -- and to me, too, just as an interested internet correspondent.
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Interesting, O_W. We reached the same conclusion from the same statement.
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Yeah, I'm getting worried myself by the ostinato negativity. It's one thing to archly and briefly joke "Eh, not in my species" -- which I wouldn't do myself, but I can give a benefit of a doubt when it comes to another person's choice of language -- but now it's feeling persistent. Non-humans, no brains -- and I don't necessarily feel automatic sympathy when you say "How dare she call someone in Iraq?" Frankly, calling someone up in Iraq is a POSITIVE sign. Sounds to me like this might be a NICE person. (You also have to take into account the time differences between here and Iraq.) All right, it's during your date, and it's "competition" -- but you're not giving the whole story. Maybe you figured "Ah, I got her a drink, now I've monopolized her," but she did not yet see it that way. Or maybe it's an ex-boyfriend, but he's not dead to her and she still finds the guy to be a good friend -- another good quality, by the way.
All of us are trying to survive within a busy universe. Just keep track of that.
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I was entirely on your side, and trying to think how to help, until I read this. I find it odd that bars where you live attract unusually unattractive women.
I suspect that they instead attract a cross-section that is common to the rest of the country, and that you may have an attitude problem. Yes, we'd all like to be with magazine models. I've had the good fortune to date some myself, as well as some strippers. Except for one, as soon as they opened their mouths their brains fell out. Just my own experience, and if you ever hook up with a hottie, I hope you find the complete package.
Meanwhile -- maybe dial down your expectations? Or at least set aside the attitude. It's really unattractive to women -- and to me, too, just as an interested internet correspondent.
I joke around. But it seems lately, I'm shooting my mouth off more and more and have to dial it back. I really don't have any exceptions I would just like to find a girl that has things to talk about. But for my age and the ones I've met that are my age, it's like they are stuck on teenage drama you would see on MTV.
I'm really not a bar person. I don't drink, don't smoke. Hell, me and my friend just went out to see how the bar food was because it use to be a hangout for him before it closed down and reopened.
With that date, my sister didn't even knew she had a boyfriend, I was just shocked that here I am in a restaurant and she was talking on the phone like nothing was going on. I felt bad for the boyfriend that was on the phone not knowing what was going on at that time and she was just playing it like she was at home on the couch.
I'm not a negative person by any means, it just sometimes my humor comes off wrong. What I think it was funny, other people take it the wrong way.
Looking back and reading, those were mean negative things to say and I'm sorry.
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"ostinato negativity" .. Druul, my boy, what fine wordsmithing you have! I felt the same way you did upon reading his "collar" rant.
But then something else occurred to me.. first, that's a line. I mean, the "id tags" and all... that's a quote of some sort.. isn't it?... something he heard I think?
So, I think he said that to us with an ulterior motive. Was he trying to be cool? Just maybe.. he was flattered by our approval of his "palin" quip and he decided, (either consciously or not) to toss another funny line our way. Not even considering the repercussions of it. It's definitely along the same theme? Your sense of humor didn't come out right.
Secondly, if try to put myself in his shoes, I would be frustrated as all HELL. He's in some sort of weird rut of bad luck and he can't seem to figure it out.. "Bitter, party of one". So in a way.. I don't blame the negativity and appreciate your apology. You've got friends who are grubbers, girls who are unavailable.. I get it.
But then again.. so do "they"! They smell it on him.. they see the negativity a mile away. I said it before, girls hate it.. . shit, I hate it. I don't want to hang out with a dude who's depressed.
People are attracted to positive, upbeat people. Don't believe me.. who are you attracted to? When I watch the Twilight Series.. I'm not attracted to Bella at ALL.. she's morbid and flat.. screw that. I'm attracted to her busty friend. Sure, the friend doesn't seem as smart or deep as Bella.. but she's full of smiles and sunshine. That's where I want to be. And that's where most girls want to be.
You know what I would have done at that bar? I would have flirted with the ugly girls (cleanly)... made them laugh. Complimented their outfits and got to know them.. their personalities. You know why? There's about a dozen reasons why. Do you think any of those ugly girls have any friends? I guarantee they do. I also guarantee that at least one of them has a friend that you would find attractive, who is NOT at the bar that night. I'm not saying hook up with them.. I'm saying be friends with them. Find out what they're doing, be vulnerable to them (not perverted!! never ever ever ever ever ever be perverted or tell a woman your fetishes.. EVER - unless you really really know her like a best friend!). Go hang out with them. They have access to places and people YOU DONT KNOW. Those girls are your access key. If this was a video game, you'd be stuck on the first level forever. The woman you want is somewhere on another level.. you need to get there.. and along the way you need to make those ugly girls feel like they are are beautiful. Why? Not just because they are the key, but because you need to learn how to become the sunshine. You compliment a girl like that, and she'll freaking FIND you a girlfriend.
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Belle, thanks, and I would point out something else about hanging with girls who are not quite what you were imagining -- namely, it can help throw off a woman who might be feeling a bit snooty. I recall the scene early on in "A Beautiful Mind" when a still very lucid John Forbes Nash has fun with all the guys in the bar all hitting on the same hot blonde, and not only being laughed off by her but being looked upon warily by all the other girls not keen on thinking of themselves as some backup choice. All-or-nothing frequently yields nothing, but you start networking at some point, any handy point, and who knows what follows. Way back in the Eighties I got sort of passed around by my first girlfriend to three friends of hers. I refuse to guarantee that will happen (maybe that was simply because it was, after all, the Eighties), but I hope you're getting some sense of how the women may be seeing all this.
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I got sort of passed around by my first girlfriend to three friends of hers. I refuse to guarantee that will happen (maybe that was simply because it was, after all, the Eighties), but I hope you're getting some sense of how the women may be seeing all this.
It's a wonderful experience, isn't it? It happened in the '60s, too.
I think Omega72 is either ignoring my Rule #1, or he hasn't learned it yet: She is in control of the relationship. Life gets a lot simple when you accept that.
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Honestly, my best advice for getting in a relationship is don't try. Enjoy being single. Eventually, some girl is going to notice that you don't fall for her act and want to get closer since you're not tripping over yourself like every other guy.
Also, make sure to be looking in your league!