Breast Expansion Archive Forum
Miscellaneous => Off-Topic & Testing => Topic started by: DruulEmpire on June 12, 2012, 07:04:48 AM
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You impulse-buy a magazine with Janet Jackson's picture on the cover -- and the magazine is Prevention.
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... you talk more about your prescriptions and less about sex. :'(
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... people keep telling you how good you look. ::)
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When everyone calls you sir.
When people ask you if your parents are still alive.I have to try hard not to slap someone that asks that considering both my parents are alive.It's bad fucking karma and I don't care where the person is coming from with the question.
If you remember using a rotary phone.
If you still use pay phones because you don't like cellphones.
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...you watch a group of beautiful young ladies walk into a bar,order drinks,and begin talking like they're on "the View",and after hearing the subject matter you think of them as immature.
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...the wait staff gives you the geezer discount without asking.
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...every health professional you see uses the same phrase, "as we grow older"...
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geezer discout - had that happen.
the youngers are calling me sir.
I have a working roatary phone in my house.
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When you hear your fathers words come out of your mouth.
You know Aerosmith members are in thier 60's.
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You could have gone to Woodstock, but your father said if you went there you could not come back home. (After he saw the movie he wished he had gone!)
The draft ended during you second week of boot camp.
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...you're not as obsessed about big boobs and bellies as you used to be. :-[
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I am still obsessed.
That's why I learned to morph! ;D
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...you talk about the differences and specifications between a small block and big block chevy and the k1ds eyes glaze over. ::) :(
... you remember the Moon landings and the k1d tells you he thinks he remembered reading about it somewhere. :(
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...your brain makes promises your body can`t keep.
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...when hangovers last longer than they use to.
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You pay attention to commercials from pharmaceutical companies....
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...you insist that Polaroid shots are better than camera-phone shots.
...you tell people with camera phones about how old cameras had an auto shutter with a timer with which you could take self portraits from further away than arm's length,and their eyes glaze over.
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... when your long term memory is better than your short term memory. ??? :(
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... when you bought and saw the Penthouse magazine edition with ... THE vaginal shot !! :o ;) ;D ( way back in 1972 )
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...you tell people with camera phones about how old cameras had an auto shutter with a timer with which you could take self portraits from further away than arm's length,and their eyes glaze over.
They still exist in the most modern cameras as well! Have people become *that* ignorant?
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They still exist in the most modern cameras as well! Have people become *that* ignorant?
Yes.
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In the U.S. attention deficit disorder has become a way of life. I recently listened to a debate between the two major candidates for a statewide office. The format was that the moderator would ask a question; the candidate would have 90 seconds to respond; his opponent would have 45 seconds to reply.
In 1858 Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas had a series of debates during the Illinois race for the U.S. Senate. The format for those debates was: One candidate gave a one-hour speech; his opponent had a half-hour to reply; the opponent then gave a one-hour speech, to which the other candidate had a half-hour to reply. Each candidate then gave a one-hour closing speech.
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(Good grist also for a political thread ... )
Your grooming is not complete without also checking your ears and nose.
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....you go through old threads here at the BEA and are surprised as hell at what you`ve posted. :o
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You realize that the only closest living relative you still have is you! :o :-\
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....toys you played with as a kid show up in either an antique store, or a store that sells old toys.
Agent "5 till 6K ;D!" Dee
8)
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...you pass a car that is the same make, model, and year of your first car, and you notice the "collector" license plate.
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...you pass a car that is the same make, model, and year of your first car, and you notice the "collector" license plate.
been there ;D
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I haven't quite been there, but at 32 I've seen some cars go by and think they are so old I can't believe they are still on the road, then noticed I used to drive one in high school. Though, in my state collector plates would go on them, just nobody wants to put one on a 1990 Chevy Corsica.
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....movies you saw as a kid in the theater are 20, 25, 30 years old respectfully.
when I was ten I saw Back to the future by myself, rode my bike downtown, took the bus to the mall watched it. 2010 was the 25th anniversary of BTTF and the re issued it in ceartain AMC theaters that year. I remember seeing E.T. in 1982 with my dad and future step mother then seeing it again in 2002 and a guy tells his kid "I saw this in the theater when I was little", I leaned back and said "yeah, me too".
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...the parents of a girl you want to ask out has the same taste in music as you do.
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....an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee.
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....an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee.
I think gOOber and I may be the only two guys in this thread who fully appreciate that. And it has been a long time since I had an "all nighter".
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I think gOOber and I may be the only two guys in this thread who fully appreciate that. And it has been a long time since I had an "all nighter".
I have not had a " all nighter " for years myself. It sucks when you have to pee just when it seems you finally will have a relaxing good night rest. I may not need Depends but I don't look forward to the day I might need them. :( Hopefully never.
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I have not had a " all nighter " for years myself. It sucks when you have to pee just when it seems you finally will have a relaxing good night rest. I may not need Depends but I don't look forward to the day I might need them. :( Hopefully never.
Welcome to the club, sol! :-\ :-\
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Welcome to the club, sol! :-\ :-\
Yea, whoopy .... :(
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...you put on your hippest clothes to have a cool evening at the nearest nightclub, and the doorstaff asks you if you came to look for your daughter.
...the language you speak is not being recognized as a living language anymore.
* Allinnich de twadde haw'k in soad ûnderfining mei (transl: Only the second one I've lots of experience with).
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masturbate ten times a day....
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I haven't quite been there, but at 32 I've seen some cars go by and think they are so old I can't believe they are still on the road, then noticed I used to drive one in high school. Though, in my state collector plates would go on them, just nobody wants to put one on a 1990 Chevy Corsica.
My second car was a '89 Beretta (the two-door version of the Corsica.)
Hard to believe I traded it in on a truck twenty years ago. :o
I have not had a " all nighter " for years myself. It sucks when you have to pee just when it seems you finally will have a relaxing good night rest. I may not need Depends but I don't look forward to the day I might need them. :( Hopefully never.
Could be worse: You could have a relaxing night's **82** only to later realize that you should have woken up to pee. :-\
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...you don't find body-function humor funny anymore.
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...you don't find body-function humor funny anymore.
Guess I've been old my whole life, then. :P
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....kids who were not even ALIVE when you graduated high school are graduating from high school.
been there done that the class of 2012 were born in 93/94 I graduated in 93, you do the math :P.
AD
8)
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....kids who were not even ALIVE when you graduated high school are graduating from high school.
been there done that the class of 2012 were born in 93/94 I graduated in 93, you do the math :P.
AD
8)
You are young one. Class of 74. Compared to Pedonbio I'm a young k1d also. ;D
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Speaking of which, is pedonbio the oldest among the regulars in here?
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you are getting stronger, when you were 18 you couldn't push down an erection with two hands and now you can with only one finger. ;D
Your hair starts migrating.
B"or just growing in places it never did before"acE
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Speaking of which, is pedonbio the oldest among the regulars in here?
I don't think so. I know that gOOber is wiser.
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I don't think so. I know that gOOber is wiser.
Thanks pedonbio, but I think you got it wrong. I`m more of a wiseguy and a smart aleck. ;)
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....you know it`s too late.
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....you know it`s too late.
I'm still trying to decide what I want to be if I grow up.
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Ooh-ooh-ooh! I want to be Robert Osborne! 8)
When you've got to make sure your Grape Nuts are all milky-soggy so that you don't regurgitate them.
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When you stand up and it sounds like popcorn. and sometimes getting up and off the couch requires a small grunt.
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...you know people younger than you who are divorced or widowed.
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...you remember when a lid of marijuana and a copy of a Bob Dylan album cost the same...and you bought the dope.
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....you remember monorail was transportation of the future.
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....you remember monorail was transportation of the future.
It may still be...
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....this pic makes any sense to you.
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...your friends start having babies on purpose...
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girls don't look twice
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When the best Batman movie is 23 years old (Batman (1989)), and the second best is 20 years old (Batman Returns) and third best is 19 years old (Batman - Mask Of The Phantasm).
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girls don't look twice
...or they point and laugh.
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....getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
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When the best Batman movie is 23 years old (Batman (1989)), and the second best is 20 years old (Batman Returns) and third best is 19 years old (Batman - Mask Of The Phantasm).
Or when you remember waiting in line to see Batman on opening day and realize it was 23 years ago. :o
girls don't look twice
...or they point and laugh.
...or they don't look at all. Or even if they are, you don't notice. :-\
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When you can't remember what this thread is titled.
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...your doctor warns you about erections that last too long.
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:P
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you face yourself on this issue...
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...you suspect that you probably look ridiculous masturbating.
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...you suspect that you probably look ridiculous masturbating.
Eeeeeeeeewwwwwww, you didn`t have to bring that up. :P :-X
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You appreciate this song much more now than when it first came out more than a quarter of a century ago:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjoNwa443wo
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Hmmm. Reminds me of the late 1960s...
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Eeeeeeeeewwwwwww, you didn`t have to bring that up. :P :-X
Self-awareness is the key to an unhappy adulthood. ;D
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Hmmm. Reminds me of the late 1960s...
I'll give Bio two kinds of credit. One: the movie is from its own weird fantasy era merging a mid-Fifties look with mid-Eighties-style music, so the midpoint would indeed be somewhen around 1970. Also, the lyrics start out so "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds," with "lake" and "jewels" and "fire" and "prince" and a whole refrigerator magnet poetry mish-mash going on, that I have to wonder how high the writer was. But no, it's the Fifties as reimagined by 1984. I cited
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjoNwa443wo
as a "You appreciate this song even more now than a quarter century ago" exhibit mainly for the recurring lyrics "It's gonna be over/ Before you know it's begun" and "Before you know it it's gone" -- and a chance to check out a young Diane Lane while knowing how milfy she'll turn out. 8)
V to gOOb below: I might attribute that more to "perpetual youth delusion syndrome." ;D
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....you think this looks normal. ::)
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....it`s the sunset of The Age of Aquarius.
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...you could make a decent living if you got paid minimum wage for the time it takes you to piss.
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....researchers link anxiety to accelerated aging, so if you fear death, you probably should.
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....the more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
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...you could make a decent living if you got paid minimum wage for the time it takes you to piss.
It took me a few minutes to figure that one out, gonZo. Of course, I don't have a computer in the bathroom...
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...you don't rush to catch the newest teaser footage of the latest upcoming blockbuster superhero flick.
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when watching "hair club for men" seems right
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...working at a minimum wage job you could pay your way thru college.
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.....even cute cheerleaders can whip your ass.
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...you debate with yourself whether to write "through" or "thru".
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...you provided more than two answers in this thread.
...people are adding "You're lasting well!!!" to wishing you a happy birthday.
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...Death keeps tapping you on the shoulder and correcting your spelling.
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This thread dedicates a lot to the ordeal of peeing, but I would also note that I only just this morning got past four solid days of constipation.
I think of Jack Palance in "City Slickers" saying he crapped bigger than Billy Crystal, and I wonder what the hell he was bragging about.
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Congratulations for not exploding. ;)
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Found this elsewhere:
Your favorite porn stars are playing MILFs.
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Faceb00k tells me that Dr. Oz wants me to lose two stones. I don't doubt it.
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...every Christmas, Santa and the Grim Reaper meet next to your chimney and flip a coin.
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You know you're getting old when you spend the day being absolutely pissed because someone born three years before you started your professional career gets the job you wanted -- at a place you've already worked at for 12 years.
Which happened to me today, and I have nowhere else to vent.
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...you talk about today's action movies,and you're the only one who makes a reference to Dirty Harry.
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Myself, I compare thrillers to the original Taking of Pelham One Two Three ...
I have reached the conclusion that if you're fifty years old and you're not fighting evil, you haven't been paying attention.
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Myself, I compare thrillers to the original Taking of Pelham One Two Three ...
I have reached the conclusion that if you're fifty years old and you're not fighting evil, you haven't been paying attention.
OMG!~ I compare them to "Dr. No".
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Congratulations for not exploding. ;)
That was never an option. ::)
But now I'm already going through my second long bout. I am really roaring aggravated.
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But now I'm already going through my second long bout. I am really roaring aggravated.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dietary_fiber
(You know you're getting old when you post this link at BEArchive.) ;)
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You appreciate the produce aisle more than you ever did before.
V to bio below: not there yet. My first was kinda weak, my latest, a bit desperate but still fine.
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...you remember your first fuck better than your most recent one. :-\ :-\
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Prune juice don't taste bad ! ;D
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Thanks to her hanging out with Danny Boyle at the Olympics, you appreciate Rosario Dawson even more now than ever. 8)
V to Zealot below: Hey! Some are! 8)
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...your boss calls you "sir."
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...you're beginning to think old black-and-white horror movies are scarier than the most recent ones.
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...you remember when a Brazillian was someone from Brazil.
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This thread dedicates a lot to the ordeal of peeing, but I would also note that I only just this morning got past four solid days of constipation.
I think of Jack Palance in "City Slickers" saying he crapped bigger than Billy Crystal, and I wonder what the hell he was bragging about.
Lightweight. Let me know when you reach 2 weeks.
Preg(Been there, done that, but I'm feeling much better now)Nut
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...you remember when pegging was a kid's game.
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...the Tooth Fairy re-opens your account.
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...you give up trimming your nose-hairs and try to convince everybody that you're growing a mustache.
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...you give up trimming your nose-hairs and try to convince everybody that you're growing a mustache.
So .... if hair is growing out of your ears does that mean you can tell 'em you are growing sideburns ? ??? ::) ;) ;D
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Badass mutton-chops, dude! ;D
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...whennn...
(What the hell was I about to write?)
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...whennn...
(What the hell was I about to write?)
Uhh.......what ? did you say sumthin' ? ??? ;) ;D ( just a touch of oldtimers ;D)
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when u have no chance, none whatsoever
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Now now now -- an old man can still have a shot at getting rich.
I call this the Anna Nicole Smith rule.
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I believe everything I read on the internet. Now get off my lawn! >:(
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Wow....
when u have no chance, none whatsoever
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.....you know what those two machines on the desk are.
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when u have no chance, none whatsoever
I guess I've been getting old since high-school!
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...you know your blood pressure and blood sugar.
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...you know your blood pressure and blood sugar.
and cholesterol and can actually recite the gobledigook names of the drugs. :(
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...and every donut is a small defeat.
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...and every donut is a small defeat.
Tell me about it. :(
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all u have are dreams
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.....you know what those two machines on the desk are.
gOOb, thanks for that. A TYPEWRITER! A fucking TYPEWRITER! Oh sweet Christ, how I miss those magnificent machines. :(
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Didn't you hear D - typewriters are making a come back, particularLEE the manual ones. :o
The kids all want them cause they've never seen a machine with keys you press that can put words directly on paper. ::)
Sam "I saw it on CBS Sunday morning" V
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1940's Royals are collectible, just find a ribbon
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gOOb, thanks for that. A TYPEWRITER! A fucking TYPEWRITER! Oh sweet Christ, how I miss those magnificent machines. :(
I miss the *snap*snap* sound of a typewriter. It sounds like something important is being done.
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1940's Royals are collectible, just find a ribbon
Every couple of years my IBM Selectric II Self-Correcting needs a tune-up, and the guy who used to do it died...
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...you listen to Stan Boreson's album, "I Just Don't Look Good Naked Any More" over and over.
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when grannies r ur best shot
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...you hear your class song on the oldies station.
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...your high school prom theme was "Moon River".
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... you have a hard time hearing those old songs. :'(
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...you use a pen and paper more often.
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... you actually use pen and paper and do math the way you were taught in primary school and the young ones look quizically as they take out their cell phones to do the same because they don't know how to do it longhand. :(
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... you know who Spiro Agnew and Eugene McCarthy were. ;D
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Oh, sol, you nattering nabob of negativism! ;) (Or, wait, maybe that's supposed to be me.)
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.... you tell the k1ds gas cost $0.22 a gallon when you worked at an Esso in Houston when you were in High School and they aren't sure to believe you or shake their head at you. ;D ( and we checked your oil, your tires, clean your windshield, etc, etc and they were actually SERVICE stations ).
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... you actually use pen and paper and do math the way you were taught in primary school and the young ones look quizically as they take out their cell phones to do the same because they don't know how to do it longhand. :(
[curmudgeon] It's not that they don't know how to do it 'longhand' ...they don't know how to do it at all. They only know how to use a device to find out the answer. Lord help 'em if they ever need an answer and don't have a fresh set of batteries or a PC. ;) [/curmudgeon]
... ( and we checked your oil, your tires, clean your windshield, etc, etc and they were actually SERVICE stations ).
[curmudgeon] Wanna really confound them whippersnappers? Ask 'em to change a flat tire or do an oil change themselves. In fact, just show them a filter wrench and just ask 'em to tell you what it is! ;)[/curmudgeon]
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[curmudgeon] It's not that they don't know how to do it 'longhand' ...they don't know how to do it at all. They only know how to use a device to find out the answer. Lord help 'em if they ever need an answer and don't have a fresh set of batteries or a PC. ;) [/curmudgeon]
That's so very sad.
[curmudgeon] Wanna really confound them whippersnappers? Ask 'em to change a flat tire or do an oil change themselves. In fact, just show them a filter wrench and just ask 'em to tell you what it is! ;)[/curmudgeon]
When I was a young pup one of the things my daddy taught me ( I was about 5 years old ) was how to change a tire since there used to be a lot of flat tires then. It was also fun to work on the car and help him change oil and do normal maintenance. You only went to the mechanic if the problem was really serious. Filter wrench ? In a pinch we could use a belt and take off the filter ;D. My father always said any man should know how to mantain a car. How quaint.
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A man should be able to change a **39**, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
-Lazarus Long (Robert Heinlein)
Though this list could perhaps be updated a bit, that really wouldn't make it any more complete than it already is. You get the gist. ;)
...Filter wrench ? In a pinch we could use a belt and take off the filter ;D. My father always said any man should know how to mantain a car. How quaint.
I still rely on ramming a screwdriver through the old filter and using it as a handle to remove the extra-stubborn ones. ;)
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You meet a gorgeous college co-ed in real life and think, "Nah. What would we ever talk about?"
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...you still navigate using directions like North,South,East,and West.
...you see technology like this and say "that's just for games!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYgsAMKLu7s
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The actor playing Doctor Who, is younger than you are.
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My own equivalent of that is "The President of the United States is younger than you are." (By a matter of months, but still ... )
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.....you snap, crackle and pop.
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My own equivalent of that is "The President of the United States is younger than you are." (By a matter of months, but still ... )
*SIGH* A crisis I faced in 1992.
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You know you are past "getting old" when you talk to chairs.
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.....you go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
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[curmudgeon] It's not that they don't know how to do it 'longhand' ...they don't know how to do it at all. They only know how to use a device to find out the answer. Lord help 'em if they ever need an answer and don't have a fresh set of batteries or a PC. ;) [/curmudgeon]
Factoring binomials was as far as I ever got.
[curmudgeon] Wanna really confound them whippersnappers? Ask 'em to change a flat tire or do an oil change themselves. In fact, just show them a filter wrench and just ask 'em to tell you what it is! ;)[/curmudgeon]
Give them an oil can spout and see if they can figure out what it is. ;)
My own equivalent of that is "The President of the United States is younger than you are." (By a matter of months, but still ... )
*SIGH* A crisis I faced in 1992.
This is the first time where a presidential or VP candidate is younger than me. :-\
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This is the first time where a presidential or VP candidate is younger than me. :-\
Talk to gOOber. I think it happened to him with FDR. ::)
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Talk to gOOber. I think it happened to him with FDR. ::)
Hell, I remember Jefferson Davis. ::)
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Hell, I remember Jefferson Davis. ::)
I bet you've kept your confederate money safe in the mattress after all these years. ;D
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I bet you've kept your confederate money safe in the mattress after all these years. ;D
You betcha! ;)
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.....you remember playing 45s and you weren`t talking about boobs.
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...you remember Suze Rotolo.
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...you watch "Two and a half men" on tv, see the Jon Cryer character get a blowjob from his girlfriend, and reflect on a time when not only were such things not shown on tv, but giving or getting a blowjob was a felony in 49 states and the District of Columbia.
Just a note: I am too old to be a "Baby Boomer"; I suspect a few others of us here are, as well. When names were picked, those of us born during the Great Depression up to the end of World War Two were tentatively called the "Skinny Generation" because there were so few of us. Our parents were the Greatest Generation, and they did a lot. What did we do? Well, among other things, we made oral sex both legal and "normal". Nobody's written a book about THAT, dammit!
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...you remember waiting for Microsoft to go down after the i.p.o.
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:P
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when all u see r old farts
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Your landline number is one of the few in an ever thinning phonebook. Or if you can remember there wasn't a landline, it was just THE phone... Later--->Triumph
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I used to think this thread was funny. Then last week the AARP sent me a provisional membership card. Not the best birthday gift.
So I am officially old.
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I used to think this thread was funny. Then last week the AARP sent me a provisional membership card. Not the best birthday gift.
So I am officially old.
Sneaky bastards, aren't they?
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I used to think this thread was funny. Then last week the AARP sent me a provisional membership card. Not the best birthday gift.
So I am officially old.
They start early because they want your business. Get used to it: they send them every week or two unless/until you join.
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.....old women look hot. ;)
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I agree with Goober.
Sophia Loren is 78.
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Dame Helen Mirren is 67...
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It is my opinion that every young man owes it to himself to designate at least one late-middle-aged (to put this nicely ;D ) woman as a lust object. That way he can teach himself "If you're lucky, this is what you'll end up with as you're wrapping up the business of life." Such a woman is, in a sense, the ultimate goal. Cokie Roberts did it for me for a long time. For that matter, Raquel Welch goes on doing it for me.
V to Robin below: heck, Janet Lupo reminds me of a certain Germano-Circassian ex-stripper I know. Every now and again I fantasize about crossing the Atlantic to her welcoming embrace ...
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Janet Lupo -- in a heartbeat. Heck I'd marry her!
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It is my opinion that every young man owes it to himself to designate at least one late-middle-aged (to put this nicely ;D ) woman as a lust object. That way he can teach himself "If you're lucky, this is what you'll end up with as you're wrapping up the business of life." Such a woman is, in a sense, the ultimate goal.
And they know what they want. The first time I went to bed with an over-50 woman was great (An aside--It is amazing how firm the breasts of runners are. That is true whether they are 32As or, as in her case, 34Gs), but the best part was the next morning when we had The Talk. She said that if we were to continue this, she had to be confident that I would not fall in love with her, because she loved fucking, but was definitely NOT into serious relationships, and men got all crazy when they were in love. She asked if I was seeing anyone; I, of course, was. And I was happy to oblige her. Tragically, she never wore a seat belt and was killed in an auto accident.
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.....old women look hot and I mean hot!
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DAMN! Thanks!
.....old women look hot and I mean hot!
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Susan Sarandon is uh...
She's uh...
OK, really, who gives a fuck how old she is?
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Janet Lupo -- in a heartbeat. Heck I'd marry her!
June Wilkinson. I mention her because I met her at Glamourcon about 15 years ago, and she still had it.
I know I am getting old because stuff like ermagerd and gangnam make no sense to me.
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Every couple of years my IBM Selectric II Self-Correcting needs a tune-up, and the guy who used to do it died...
That IBM was an old sturdy dinosaur. I had one at my first job. To put that in perspective, it was in the same area as the fax machine, in which you had to put the receiver from the rotary phone into to receive the fax.
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...you insist that Polaroid shots are better than camera-phone shots.
...you tell people with camera phones about how old cameras had an auto shutter with a timer with which you could take self portraits from further away than arm's length,and their eyes glaze over.
I wanted to impress the girls back in the day, and thought Polaroid was old because my mom had one, and bought a Kinon camera. Not a Canon.
Since this is an adult forum, I can tell this story too. And yes, you can laugh at my stupidity. At my second job ever, I worked at a video store. One guy got fired for copying tapes from Beta to VHS. Yes, 80 pct of our stuff was Beta. Anyway, I wanted to watch an x-rated tape with my favorite actress. Of course, being a BEA guy, it was Lisa Deleeuw. It was under glass, and I asked the price of the VHS version. The cost? 100 bucks! And I still bought it.
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...you first saw Jaws in a drive-in, and she missed the first shark attack 'cuz you were getting blown...
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That story brings a new meaning to "Jaws." ;)
Druul "cue John Williams music while she unbuckles you" Empire
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You actually remember the newsreels that they showed before the movie and there were no multiplexes.
-
when you remember clearly Jack Bailey asking the audience—mostly women—"Would YOU like to be Queen for a day?"
-
Holy shit, that was a depressing show... to win, a woman had to have a sadder life than the other contestants.
-
...there's a picture of an old girlfriend in the newspaper, and you realize the article is about "active seniors". It happened to me today.
-
...... the candles cost more than the cake. :-X
-
...... the candles cost more than the cake. :-X
and there is a chance they will set off the fire alarm ... :(
-
...or they're the trick candles that can't be blown out, and they outlive you. :-X
-
::)
-
...there's a picture of an old girlfriend in the newspaper, and you realize the article is about "active seniors". It happened to me today.
Hmm, just how "active" is she?
*eyebrows*
*eyebrows*
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You spot a book about something you remember living through in the History section of the local library.
-
...you hear your class song on the oldies station.
My sister and I are only in our 30's and we've already had those moments! My newest car has satellite radio and I discovered they have a Classic Rap Station........yes I typed "a Classic Rap Station"........and heard "Mo Money, Mo Problems" on it and could only think....has it been that long all ready?! Shortly afterwards my sister tells me she was getting her hair done and the Adult Contemporary station that was playing while she was there started playing "No Scrubs" :-X
When I was looking at this car back in the spring, I mentioned to the saleskid that some of the reason I was looking at it was for gas mileage when compared to my truck and was surprised it made so much power for only needing regular (it also runs quite nicely on E-85, I have discovered ;D ) and then brought up that my first car was from the mid 80's and had a turbocharged 4 cylinder that required premium.....which only cost $1.50 a gallon when I bought that car and was only around $1.80 when it finally gave up and when I bought my truck, regular cost around $1.60 or so a gallon.............apparently he isn't old enough to remember gas being that cheap or was probably born after that car was killed off ::)
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When I was looking at this car back in the spring, I mentioned to the saleskid that some of the reason I was looking at it was for gas mileage when compared to my truck and was surprised it made so much power for only needing regular (it also runs quite nicely on E-85, I have discovered ;D ) and then brought up that my first car was from the mid 80's and had a turbocharged 4 cylinder that required premium.....which only cost $1.50 a gallon when I bought that car and was only around $1.80 when it finally gave up and when I bought my truck, regular cost around $1.60 or so a gallon.............apparently he isn't old enough to remember gas being that cheap or was probably born after that car was killed off ::)
Gawd, you are young .... I remember gas at $0.22 a gallon for regular. My first job was at a ESSO ( before it became Exxon ) station in Houston back in 1972. Octane was 95 for regular, 100 for mid-grade and 105 for premium which you paid a horrible $0.28 ! :o The agony ! And then in 1973 we had the arab oil embargo and it went to .... $0.45 !!! :o THIS CALLS FOR WAR !!! Or something like that. My mother drove a 1971 Chevrolet Monte Carlo ( one of the best looking cars ever ) and I remember her driving into my gas station and she remarking " I can't believe I spent five Dollars to fill the car " :'( . Yup, remember my grandad talking about how he use to only pay $0.04 per gallon back in the day and me being bored with his " Good ol' days " tripe. ::)
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Hmm, just how "active" is she?
*eyebrows*
*eyebrows*
Oh, my! She and a friend were doing an "educational performance" for some third-graders. Mostly I remember that she once said, "If it weren't for these (pointing you-know-where), my social life would be pretty limited."
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Gawd, you are young .... I remember gas at $0.22 a gallon for regular.
When I was about 10 years old, I'd pump the gas at my family's marina (hand crank reset La Gloria Oil Co. pumps!) and the price was $0.17-9/10 a gallon. Sheesh. What I'd give to have a couple of thousand gallons at that price...
Tugboat"Oh, yeah. Marine Gasoline doesn't have road tax added!Cap!
-
....you have to choose what funeral to attend. I had to choose between two equally important people to me who had funerals at the same time today. :'(
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Ack! Goob, I'm sorry. :(
to Bio below: this reminds me a bit of my RIP Lunar Visitors thread. I figure we may lose an average of one Apollo astronaut a year this decade now that Armstrong has gone.
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Druul, there's a tipping point when you attend more funerals than weddings in a year. After that, the slope slips.
Edit: Thinking about it, there's really a plateau: First you go to a lot of weddings, hopefully getting laid; then for about twenty years there are a few weddings, mostly re-starts, and a few funerals; then you suddenly realize you've gone to ten funerals and no weddings...
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....you have to choose what funeral to attend. I had to choose between two equally important people to me who had funerals at the same time today. :'(
In my case it becomes impossible to attend the funerals of family members in Mexico because by law a body must either be buried or cremated within 24 hours of a Doctor or appointed goverment official declaration of death. This law made sense when it was inpractical / impossible to preserve the body without danger of communicable disease spreading back in the 19th century. Those who believe only the US is full of idiot or obsolete laws are mistaken. Anyways, my father, who was born in Mexico even though he is a Canadian citizen now, had 12 brothers and sisters and in the last 4 years four have passed away and I've missed all of them since I live in the US and they all died in Mexico. My mom passed away 2 1/2 years ago here in Vegas and the funeral was attended by mostly the American and Canadian side of the family. I do feel bad for you that you had to make a choise Goober and hopefully everybody will understand that sometimes it's just impossible to do that which we need or want to do.
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... Benjamin Franklin is your hero all over again -- and for all the wrong reasons. ;)
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... Benjamin Franklin is your hero all over again -- and for all the wrong reasons. ;)
Could there be a wrong reason? An outspoken atheist, hard **94** and eager to fuck any woman who caught his fancy, who invented, among other things, fire insurance, oceanography, urban street cleaning, and that wonderful fireplace that made the '60s so warm...? Yes, he was a lousy husband, and he had issues with his son, but who's perfect?
Gouvernor Morris at least gets honorable mention for losing a paternity suit when he was 80.
Let's face it: These guys really were the fathers of our country!
-
:P
-
...you can remember when presidents were serious and David Letterman was funny.
-
:P
gOOber, the guy in that picture is the spitting image of Bill Gates, Jr., the father of the famous one. Except Junior is always smiling, 'cuz I think he's getting enough.
-
::)
-
You remember the time when you always had to pay to watch this.
-
You remember the time when you always had to pay to watch this.
When I was young, porn seemed as rare as gold nuggets. Today, with the internet, porn is like turning on a faucet in your house. Younguns have it so easy these days. ::)
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.....when you start looking like this. :P
-
:)
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gOOb, thank you. ;D
This goes for the eggs too. Just the other day, Supreme Court Justice Kagan felt obliged to raise the simple point that a 55-year-old woman is not terribly likely to start having children.
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gOOb, thank you. ;D
This goes for the eggs too. Just the other day, Supreme Court Justice Kagan felt obliged to raise the simple point that a 55-year-old woman is not terribly likely to start having children.
Good point. You know you're getting old when pregnancy isn't on the list of things you worry about.
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When you look around and all your friends are either married or have kids (or both) and you're still single and childless.
(Seriously, both have happened to me over the last week. First was a friends kids 1st birthday and catching up with school friends and they have kids too. Then today another friend got married in Vegas. I felt old real quick)
-
.....this looks like your bar.
-
u have to choose plan "a" or "b"
-
.....a 51 year old woman looks this hot.
-
u realize Fixodent is not for autobody repair
-
...you can't remember the last time you saw your penis.
-
...you can't remember the last time you saw your penis.
No, that's "You Know You're Getting Fat When..." ;)
-
8)
-
...you can't remember the last time you saw your penis.
I can remember. It was in the 20th century.
-
I am able to see my penis, but the diabetes impacted my ability to get an erection, but I can still piss without any problems. :'(
-
I am able to see my penis, but the diabetes impacted my ability to get an erection, but I can still piss without any problems. :'(
Yea verily. My house may be old but the plumbing still works.
-
...every time you see Keith Richards, you think how good he looks.
-
...every time you see Keith Richards, you think how good he looks.
I hate those "pretty boys". ;)
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I used to have sex frequently....a long time ago in a galaxy far far away.
-
When ur offspring have no idea who Satchmo is (http://www.youtube.com/v/E2VCwBzGdPM)
-
... the young ones can't believe we only had 3 - 5 TV channels and gas was $0.22 to $0.27 a gallon. Forget about explaining what Green Stamps were.
-
... the young ones can't believe we only had 3 - 5 TV channels and gas was $0.22 to $0.27 a gallon. Forget about explaining what Green Stamps were.
Actually, sol, I thought Green Stamps were a strange thing when we had 'em.
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Actually, sol, I thought Green Stamps were a strange thing when we had 'em.
Yea, perhaps but I did redeem some and got me a nice AM/FM Sony radio. :)
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When ur offspring have no idea who Satchmo is (http://www.youtube.com/v/E2VCwBzGdPM)
Isn't Sachmo a big hairy smelly ape-like creature? ;D ;D ;D ;D
Tugboat"Also an obscure Nickelodeon Rugrats Episode reference"Cap!
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Isn't Sachmo a big hairy smelly ape-like creature? ;D ;D ;D ;D
Tugboat"Also an obscure Nickelodeon Rugrats Episode reference"Cap!
no, that's big foot.
-
....Your long term memory is better than your short term memory. :(
-
....you know how to do long hand arithmetic and don't need a calculator.
-
....you know how to do long hand arithmetic and don't need a calculator.
...and you can do it in Base 10.
-
You check what's playing at the theater and realize "They already did that better long ago." :(
V to bio below: heck, I'm thinking this ALL THE TIME. Look, I like Denzel, let the man fly airplanes upside down through time warps to save Paula Patton, I'm cool with that. But redo "The Taking of Pelham One Two Three" with Travolta in the Robert Shaw role? And Streep is great, but come on -- in its time, the original "Manchurian Candidate" was cutting edge, whereas the remake felt like way too little way too late. "Gatsby" should probably never be filmed, period, it is first and last a reading experience. I'm not even talking about classics -- without the knockout Jerry Goldsmith score, what point is there to another "Total Recall"? Hollywood is crapping on its own best history.
-
You check what's playing at the theater and realize "They already did that better long ago." :(
Thinking about seeing "Gatsby"?
-
Kids these days don't think anything from before they were born can be any good. If it even exists at all.
-
Kids these days don't think anything from before they were born can be any good. If it even exists at all.
I laugh at this because that is what my father said many years ago when we Baby Boomers were saying stupid stuff like don't trust anyone over thirty. The more they change the more they are the same. ;D
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Kids these days don't think anything from before they were born can be any good. If it even exists at all.
I think there's a quotation from Aristotle that goes here.
-
.....you realize that pretty boy Johnny Depp is fifty years old!
-
when you mention "South Pacific" as a good movie and peeps go ::)
-
when you mention "South Pacific" as a good movie and peeps go ::)
Hell, LDW, I was talking to a 20-something the other day who had never read The Great Gatsby. He thought the (current) movie was an original story.
-
when wet dreams are just a pleasant memory
-
.... young ones don't know who Eisenhower, Patton, McArthur, Bradley, Nimitz, Marshall, etc, etc and what they were about. :(
-
when u realize the importance of Midway and code breaking.
-
...young ones don't know/understand what D-Day is about. :'(
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I once heard someone's cellphone go off, and their ringtone was the door chime from "Star Trek: TNG." I couldn't help but think how awesome that was, then how long ago it started, and there aren't a lot of young Trekkies anymore. I felt young, and old, at the same time. *sigh*
Edit: I accidentally posted this in 'Social Changes' thread, moved it in case anyone noticed. A tad off-topic.
-
...young ones don't know/understand what D-Day is about. :'(
Nor Verdun, or Belleau Wood. Unless they read.
-
when u realize the importance of Midway and code breaking.
I suspect basic history classes do discuss Alan Turing these days. ::)
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...your memory is more "can't remember shit" than "don't give a fuck." :-\
...you find yourself looking at pictures of car parts more than pictures of female body parts. ???
...you no longer get morning wood. :-[
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.... remember stuff that happened long time ago better than what happened 10 minutes ago. ??? :(
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The diabetes has made me impotent for about the last 5 years or so.
I do morphs because it helps me remember when I was able to have sex.
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Bowling for Dollars was on every night
-
...you find yourself looking at pictures of car parts more than pictures of female body parts. ???
Especially if you own a Land Rover that's out of warranty...LOL!
-
.....you get this tasteless joke.
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Then I'm old...at 35...
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Then I'm old...at 35...
Don`t trust anyone over 30. ;)
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When you can't eat a 1kg (2.2lbs) burger and 600g (1.3lbs) of chips/fries
(For the record, I got through the burger and half the chips)
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When you can't eat a 1kg (2.2lbs) burger and 600g (1.3lbs) of chips/fries
(For the record, I got through the burger and half the chips)
What do you think made us old?
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You go to a Superman movie and decide you'd like to date Martha Kent.
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When you can't eat a 1kg (2.2lbs) burger and 600g (1.3lbs) of chips/fries
(For the record, I got through the burger and half the chips)
Where did you eat that ? Americans don't use kilos or call french fries chips. ???
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Ipana commercials, Queen for a day seem like yesterday.
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You wonder why your favorite author hasn't come out with anything new in over a decade, and then you remember that it's because he's dead....
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You wonder why your favorite author hasn't come out with anything new in over a decade, and then you remember that it's because he's dead....
Vonnegut?
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^Rodney in "back to school, was a rip, no?
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Rodney Dangerfield was in a class by himself.
Ladybugs, one of his last movies, was on this week on the Encore network.
Caddyshack was another of my favorites as well. As usual with his movies, Rodney had no real script. If there was one it was only used as a guide.
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You know you are old and delusional when you look into a mirror, see this guy, and think, "Oh, I look fifty..."
-
I realized the other night that when Edgar Allen Poe was my age, he had already been dead for 10 years.
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You know you are old and delusional when you look into a mirror, see this guy, and think, "Oh, I look fifty..."
When I saw that I busted a gut laughing. I'm not sure even Narcisus was that bad. ;D
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Happy 70th birthday, Mick Jagger! ::)
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Happy 70th birthday, Mick Jagger! ::)
I wonder if he ever got any satisfaction?
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Happy 70th birthday, Mick Jagger! ::)
Keith Richards still kicking amazes me.
His eclectic mix of drug usage over the decades has, rather than kill him, actually preserved him indefinitely.
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you blame the damn hippies for everything.
-
You can't remember what the title of this thread is.
-
You remember when any word synonymous with the hindquarters was the main source of laughter in sitcoms.
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8)
-
8)
LOL !! ;D
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8)
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Get your motor runnin'
Head out on the highway
Lookin' for adventure
And whatever comes our way
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen
Take the world in a love embrace
Fire all of your guns at once
And explode into space
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You know you're getting old when you read about Sharon Osbourne's fling with Jay Leno, and you think it's hot stuff...
-
...You do imitations of old commercials and cartoons(Eg."Wheres the beef?!" or the Carvel ice cream man) and everyone thinks you're schizophrenic.
-
::)
-
......you go out in public looking like this. :P
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^--gOOb, I had no idea you were behind me with a camera!
-
......you go out in public looking like this. :P
Cut him some slack. He has his best shoes on. ;D
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.....you remember that this was the vision of the future.
-
.....you remember that this was the vision of the future.
I read the caption and LOL when I read it. The Rand corporation is a Washington D.C. based think tank that does studies on geopolitical and political matters mostly for the Democratic party. Ladies and Gentlemen, what you are seeing is not a home computer but a mock up of the Nuclear reactor power plant control panel for a Nautilus class submarine. The large " steering wheels " you see is actually the throttle control valve. The large wheel is forward and the small wheel is back. The black handle to the right controls the reactor control rods which determine the available power output. This was high tech in 1949 - 1951 time period and the first naval reactor prototype for the upcoming USS Nautilus, the world's first nuclear power vessel of any type, went " critical " ( operational producing power ) at the National Engineering Testing site sixty miles west of Idaho Falls, Idaho in 1953. The Nautilus was commissioned in 1955.
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Well, gOOb, the first computer I worked with did its output here:
-
....you can date women half your age and not get thrown in jail.
-
I bought some shoes today and didn`t use a cash register or pen or pencil for the first time. The twenty something clerk pulled out of his pocket a sort of smart phone and swiped my credit card with it and told me to sign with my finger. I felt like an old man from Mississippi. :'(
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I bought some shoes today and didn`t use a cash register or pen or pencil for the first time. The twenty something clerk pulled out of his pocket a sort of smart phone and swiped my credit card with it and told me to sign with my finger. I felt like an old man from Mississippi. :'(
I know the feeling; and those damnned little snots act like it's been that way forever. I have met several who can't write a check, though.
-
...you think about things like this and smile:
-
......you know what this silver thing on the floorboard would do.
Mod edit: I know what it's for of course, but I don't need that to tell me I'm no longer a whippersnapper. ;) -Pal
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......you know what this silver thing on the floorboard would do.
Mod edit: I know what it's for of course, but I don't need that to tell me I'm no longer a whippersnapper. ;) -Pal
For those who may not have a clue that is the high beam headlights actuator which was on the firewall / floorboard and you used your left foot to actuate. Mostly found on American cars and trucks up to the mid 1980's. I wish cars still had them. Of course, since the japanese and europeans used the signal stalk to actuate the high beams they disappeared from US cars in order to globalize them.
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For those who may not have a clue that is the high beam headlights actuator which was on the firewall / floorboard and you used your left foot to actuate. Mostly found on American cars and trucks up to the mid 1980's. I wish cars still had them. Of course, since the japanese and europeans used the signal stalk to actuate the high beams they disappeared from US cars in order to globalize them.
Indeed. And before that, there was one on the right-foot side that was the starter. Originally American cars were started by closing a switch on the dash, then cranking the engine in front. Then came self-starters, from about 1925 to 1955, in which a key was inserted into the dash to close the switch, then one stepped on the starter switch. Then in the mid-50s cars were equipped with a starter switch actuated by turning the key, and that lasted until these blasted electronic gizzmoes.
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For those who may not have a clue that is the high beam headlights actuator which was on the firewall / floorboard and you used your left foot to actuate. Mostly found on American cars and trucks up to the mid 1980's. I wish cars still had them. Of course, since the japanese and europeans used the signal stalk to actuate the high beams they disappeared from US cars in order to globalize them.
Thanks for the explanation,Solvegas!
I had no clue what that was for.
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Thanks for the explanation,Solvegas!
I had no clue what that was for.
My first car was 1968 Chevrolet Impala which had that feature. I bought it in 1974 and traded it in 1984 for a S - 10 Pick up truck and I remembered asking the salesman where was the floorboard high beam actuator and he politely showed where it was on the signal stalk and showed me how to do it. I was 28 years old but that guy managed to make me feel older. ;D
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My first car was 1968 Chevrolet Impala which had that feature. I bought it in 1974 and traded it in 1984 for a S - 10 Pick up truck and I remembered asking the salesman where was the floorboard high beam actuator and he politely showed where it was on the signal stalk and showed me how to do it. I was 28 years old but that guy managed to make me feel older. ;D
Without googling, I can't be sure whether my memory is correct or not, but I seem to recall that my late 60's Vette had the high-beam switch on the dead pedal too. :) And I'm sure my dad's '65 Vista Cruiser had it (as Red Foreman said: "you can cruise the vista!') Ah, the whiff of nostalgia. Far more than that switch, I miss the smell of old American cars: there was something about the glues and other chemicals used to process the upholstery and carpets that had a very particular aroma that I miss. I'm sure it caused cancer or something, but on the rare occasion that I sit in an unrestored pre-early-70s American car these days, that smell automatically unleashes a torrent of chi1dhood memories. :)
PS: the attached pic is like the one I had, though it's in much better shape. ;)
PPS: (with old man hat on) I liked it better (and think it was safer) when cars had more/different physical switches in a variety of locations: once you got used to your particular car, muscle memory kicked in and tactile feedback helped too (I remember the firm 'click' of the floor-mounted high-beam switches). Nowadays, a ton of different functions are crammed onto the steering column stalks: lights/brights, wipers/intervals, cruise controls, etc... and it's even worse on newer cars where tons of controls are accessed via a single touch-screen, some of which are a tangle of bad GUI and menu layers, to say nothing of the lack of tactile feedback and worst of all: you generally have to take your eyes off the road to use them... even to do something simple like change a radio station. What a mess. :(
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^
I bought a new car last July. I still don`t know what a third of the controls do. :P
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I still remember driving my grandfather`s 1950 Chevy which he bought brand new for $975.00. Starting procedure: 1. Pull out choke. 2. Push in clutch. 3. Press starter button. 4. Turn key. If the car wouldn`t start, pump gas pedal and repeat. Btw, 3/4 of the space under the hood was air.
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PPS: (with old man hat on) I liked it better (and think it was safer) when cars had more/different physical switches in a variety of locations: once you got used to your particular car, muscle memory kicked in and tactile feedback helped too (I remember the firm 'click' of the floor-mounted high-beam switches). Nowadays, a ton of different functions are crammed onto the steering column stalks: lights/brights, wipers/intervals, cruise controls, etc... and it's even worse on newer cars where tons of controls are accessed via a single touch-screen, some of which are a tangle of bad GUI and menu layers, to say nothing of the lack of tactile feedback. What a mess. :([/i]
Agreed. Perhaps I'm just an ol' stick in the mud but I liked the knobs on the dashboard. I also like the tactile feel from a honest to God knob. It took me a while to feel comfortable having the lights on the left hand side stalk and the wipers on the right side stalk and so forth and so on. Of course, that ol' 68 Impala did not have cruise control, intermittent windshield wipers, CD player ( I did install an 8 track though ), reliable fuel injection ( when I worked in the garage in the early 70's only expensive cars had fuel injection. We used to call them garage queens because they were in the shop all the time since their fuel injection systems were, what's the fancy word I'm looking for ... uhh ... oh yeah, shit ! ) and many other features to enumerate. But then try to stand on the hood of a car today without bending the shit out of it which you could do on cars then. Or stuff a bunch of people in the trunk to sneak them into the drive in movie. But then the past we can romantisize too much.
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I really should take a picture and post it of my '49 Ford F-1 Pickup dash. It has a pull out headlight switch on the left side of the steering drop and a key, choke pull and starter button right of it. On top of the dash to the right of center of the steering wheel is the vacuum control knob for the single windshield wiper. High/Low beam button on the floor. That's the whole set of controls. And yes, you can damn near stand on the ground on either side of the original V-8 Flathead in the engine compartment.
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I've felt pretty old the last three days. Y^hoo is my homepage, and I have it set to show headlines from E (plus an exclamation point; trying to be careful about avoiding links here).
I have been absolutelty disgusted by almost every pop-figure story, just the last few days. To me, it is a sudden change; I don't know if they've changed editors or what. I do not want to hear the news they share. I do not want it on my computer.
This is not the world I grew up in.
-
This is not the world I grew up in.
Yeah, I know the feeling. The world I grew up in died with Bobby Kennedy.
-
.....your skin loses that youthful glow.
-
^--Not a selfie.
-
:P
-
8)
-
8)
-
:P
-
When you're five, anybody over 10 is old. When you're in elementary school, anybody in Jr. High is old. When you're in Jr. High, anybody in high school is old. When you're in high school, anybody over 20 is old. When you're college age, anybody over 25 is old. Then the rule changes to anybody that's 10 years older than you is old until you reach 60. Once you're in your 60s, anybody who is 85 years and above is old. Once you hit 70, anybody your age or older is old.
-
... you see old photos of your grandparents who you thought were so ancient when you were a k1d and now they look like you. :(
-
Some **92** ten years older calls you "grandpa".
-
.
-
Cartoons you watched as a kid are now celebrating 30th and above anniversaries (eg. Transformers & TMNT for us 80s kids)
Also, Batman is 75 this year!
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Cartoons you watched as a kid are now celebrating 30th and above anniversaries (eg. Transformers & TMNT for us 80s kids)
Also, Batman is 75 this year!
Hello Kitty is still saucy as she hits the big four-oh. ;)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hello_Kitty
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When you remember 'Batman' (1989) being the biggest movie at the time in 1989. Still the best Batman film to me, along with 'Batman Returns' and 'Batman - Mask Of The Phantasm'
-
When you remember 'Batman' (1989) being the biggest movie at the time in 1989. Still the best Batman film to me, along with 'Batman Returns' and 'Batman - Mask Of The Phantasm'
I guess I'm getting really old because I can remember when Psycho didn't even get nominated for an Academy Award.
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You remember reading on Road & Track about a exciting new automobile called Mustang. I was 8 then but my father had a subscription and I read about it. I was living in Mexico then and that magazine was expensive for Mexicans because there was no Spanish version and it had to come by DHL or UPS. Mail service in Mexico was / is so corrupt that you knew it would be stolen by the mailmen even if they couldn't read it because of the cool pictures. The joys when you could tell the difference between a 64 or 65 Mustang unlike today were you can't tell the difference between a 2009 or 2013 model. When September was exciting because that was when the ALL NEW VERSION of whatever car was due out. Cars are mostly nice, reliable appliances now and they are very seldom beautiful or exciting any more. Hell of a shame. :(
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I guess I'm getting really old because I can remember when Psycho didn't even get nominated for an Academy Award.
Shame, it deserved it.
-
...you hear the words "Star Wars" and think of Pres. Ronald Reagan.
-
.... just about the time women are hitting their sexual peak, men are discovering they have a favorite chair.
-
.... just about the time women are hitting their sexual peak, men are discovering they have a favorite chair.
Yes; that moment when the hot chick from high school who got pissed when you touched her boob sends you a FB message to see if you want to spend the night. But she looks like a sumo wrestler now...
-
You have a cough for more than three days and suspect it's TB.
You feel pain in your limbs and you think it must be arthritis.
-
:-\
-
When you have to debate how you're going to fall asleep after +20 years of on your front, almost 20 years on your side, and wondering how long you can do either before the pain kicks in enough to make you switch.
-
......you can remember these manly odors:
A well-used automotive repair garage. A mixture of oil, grease, tires, with a faint cigarette smell.
A baseball glove/mitt - Dirt, grass, leather and sweat from a well-used mitt.
Pipe smoke - reminds me of my grandpa, one of the manliest men to ever walk the earth.
Gunsmoke/spent ammunition
Barbershop
Sawdust
Whiskey/Bourbon
Old Spice cologne
Campfire
The smell of an old 1960`s car.
Pal chimes in: the smell of American cars made though the early 1970s is so distinctive. I assume it's the adhesives, but maybe owes something to the carpets and vinyl, etc.. in the interiors. It is SO evocative to me (of my dads 1965 Olds Vista Cruiser).
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.
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Not so much "old" as a sign of maturity:
When you realize that just because you don't like a movie/song/tv show/etc., that doesn't mean it's utter garbage.
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exercise is not a choice, but a necessity.
clickit
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...you wait for the first commercial break to go take a piss, and you're there for so long that you miss the rest of the program.
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:)
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... they automatically give you the senior discounts and don't even bother to ask or see your ID. :P
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8)
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... you have a 4th n 5th kid on the way
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... you have a 4th n 5th kid on the way
You do ? Congratulations ! :)
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... you have a 4th n 5th kid on the way
I dunno. I only have one, and she's shopping for Ph.D. programs. I think she's made me about 20 years younger. Of course, my wife and I have pictures taken the year before she was born, and we don't look younger now.
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* The name of the movie is "Star Wars", dammit! None of this "A New Hope" crap!
* You think about buying something, but decide not to because you have no place to put it. Or you won't get enough use out of it before either you or it breaks.....
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.
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Nothing shocks you anymore. :-X
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..... When you realize that Wendy Whoppers hit the scene 10 years AFTER you started collecting the RARE (for the time) big boob magazines - and Beshine wasn't even born yet. Geeeze!
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...you remember the moon landings 45 years ago and you were thirteen years old. :o :(
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When your FB used to have posts like: "Who wants to go to the club and get fucked up on cheap drinks?"
Now your FB page has these posts: "Waiting on Wife/Husband to get home so we can put the kids to bed" (This post is from the same people who used to post the ones above)
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.
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children who were not even alive when you graduated high school are now legal **94** age, I should know as I was class of '93.
Agent "don't do the math, thanks ;)" Dee
8)
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8)
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.....you remember these.
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I remember the 3.5" AOL floppies. Never knew they also shipped the 5" ones.
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I remember the 3.5" AOL floppies. Never knew they also shipped the 5" ones.
the never did, this is a 5 1/4". ;D
B"remember even 10" floppy, though never used one"acE.
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the never did, this is a 5 1/4". ;D
B"remember even 10" floppy, though never used one"acE.
Pal asks: are you sure you don't mean 8" floppies? I did see 'em a few times when I was a wee laddie (my own first computer had 5.25"ers). I've never seen or heard of a 10" floppy tho. Attached is a wiki pic of 8", 5.25" and 3.5" floppies from the article here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_floppy_disk
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IBM still uses 8" floppies for some stuff.
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Pal asks: are you sure you don't mean 8" floppies? I did see 'em a few times when I was a wee laddie (my own first computer had 5.25"ers). I've never seen or heard of a 10" floppy tho. Attached is a wiki pic of 8", 5.25" and 3.5" floppies from the article here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_floppy_disk
you must be right. Like I said, I never used one. :D
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I understand that the US Military still uses a lot of that old computer stuff like floppies.
Because who the heck is writing viruses for Windows 98? Or trying to hack a VAX system?
Mod edit: there's tons of Win98 systems still in use, both privately and (more worryingly) commercially: point-of-sale systems, automated teller machines, and Glob knows what else. In terms of smaller/standalone computers and computer-based kiosk systems, I'd not be surprised if Win98 were in the top 3 share-wise. JMHO. -Pal
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children who were not even alive when you graduated high school are now legal **94** age, I should know as I was class of '93.
Agent "don't do the math, thanks ;)" Dee
8)
Big four-oh coming up soon, eh?
Preg(Hit the big four-five today)Nut :-\
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children who were not even alive when you graduated high school are now legal **94** age, I should know as I was class of '93.
Agent "don't do the math, thanks ;)" Dee
8)
Big four-oh coming up soon, eh?
Preg(Hit the big four-five today)Nut :-\
Was walking and doing the rounds in the casino and saw a woman wearing a shirt that said " 40 simply means you get better " and I realized I had graduated from High School 40 years ago. So, am I at 57 much, much better ? ;D
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I was called up for jury duty this week. I was selected and got all the way to the judgment phase before finding out I was pre-selected as an alternate juror. Decided to stay for the verdict since I already spent so much time with the case and one of the prosecutors was a hot blonde. I was talking to the police and prosecutors while waiting for the jury to return its verdict and learned that the blonde hottie and I shared a birthday. She was born on my 18th birthday. :o
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...your friends are having babies on purpose?
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8) If you were around when ads like this showed up in Psychology Today.
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8)
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When you get a muscle injury mild or severe while **83**.
When you stop noticing your gray hair because you're too old to give a damn anymore.
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8)
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::)
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You know you're getting old when...
(http://forum.bearchive.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=596327.0;attach=388738;image)
...you're looking at the donuts.
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You know you're getting old when...
(http://forum.bearchive.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=596327.0;attach=388738;image)
...you're looking at the donuts.
What doughnuts? Is that Nancy Quill on the right?
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The woman in the pink shirt has nice hair.
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:)
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.....you`re always getting into fights.
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8)
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8)
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.....
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.....
Love those meetings!
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8)
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:)
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8)
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:)
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:)
No kidding ! And it sometimes hurt you more than the phone breaking. Those were some tough, rugged, reliable phones. :)
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No kidding ! And it sometimes hurt you more than the phone breaking. Those were some tough, rugged, reliable phones. :)
Very true. Remember when you could drop the phone and it did no damage?
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Very true. Remember when you could drop the phone and it did no damage?
Actually, it could damage the floor if you threw hard enough. ;D
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...and if you hung up hard enough, the stupid bell would ring...
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8)
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...and if you hung up hard enough, the stupid bell would ring...
Plus, they were so heavy and sturdy and solid that you could literally bludgeon a grown man to death with the telephone (or even just the receiver) and the phone would surely work just fine afterwards. In fact, I'm sure this has happened many times over the decades, though I've no idea if such stats are kept anywhere online. Just try that with an iPhone or Galaxy 5! Gorilla glass my ass! :P :D
I've got one of those old/heavy/black/rotary phones, complete with the painted metal (not clear plastic) dial in my guest bedroom upstairs. The sound quality on it is equal to that of the much newer (though still 'retro') Bang and Olufsen wired phone that I use in my own bedroom, and B&O phones are renowned for their sound quality.
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Plus, they were so heavy and sturdy and solid that you could literally bludgeon a grown man to death with the telephone (or even just the receiver) and the phone would surely work just fine afterwards. In fact, I'm sure this has happened many times over the decades, though I've no idea if such stats are kept anywhere online. Just try that with an iPhone or Galaxy 5! Gorilla glass my ass! :P :D
I've got one of those old/heavy/black/rotary phones, complete with the painted metal (not clear plastic) dial in my guest bedroom upstairs. The sound quality on it is equal to that of the much newer (though still 'retro') Bang and Olufsen wired phone that I use in my own bedroom, and B&O phones are renowned for their sound quality.
I remember we had this style of phone when my family lived in the West End of Pittsburgh.
In 1962 we had a wall version, when we moved close to McDonald, Pa., in our living room.
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I remember we had this style of phone when my family lived in the West End of Pittsburgh.
In 1962 we had a wall version, when we moved close to McDonald, Pa., in our living room.
Yah when I was a small kid (70s) we had a mustard-yellow rotary wall phone on the kitchen wall... this was before AT&T got split up... maybe it was made by Bell? Anyway, it wasn't as old as the black one I have upstairs now (the kitchen phone had that clear plastic dial) but still: built to last a lifetime. That phone had a loooong coiled cord for the receiver, so you could talk and move around the whole kitchen... of course, the handset got dropped literally hundreds of times over the years... banging off the hard ceramic tile floor over and over again. As far as I know, it still worked fine when my folks sold the house... more than 30 years later.
Added later: thinking about the old yellow rotary wall phone with the long coiled cord in the house were I grew up: yes, the cord got kind of stretched out and kinked up over the years, but really, that seems a small caveat vs. the modern alternative: a cordless phone (either countertop or wall-mounted). Realistically, cordless phones are among the more-disposable consumer items: the batteries rarely last more than several years (at the most) and inevitably, when you tire of the shortened battery life/call times, you usually wind up replacing the whole phone since it barely costs more and takes less time than hunting down the replacement rechargeable battery pack that the original phone uses. Thus, while that old corded yellow phone wasn't pretty and didn't do anything other than let you make and receive phone calls, it lasted three decades or more. Cordless phones for that same span of time? Most folks would/will/do go through at least four phones, some perhaps even five or six. The only way to avoid that is to replace the battery pack which many people don't bother with (plus, you still have to recycle the batteries, which (again) many folks don't bother with). Just imagine ALL the five-year-old cordless phones (many with multiple handsets) that wind up in landfills over time (yes, some get recycled) and how much wasted energy/resources/pollution (from batteries that wind up in the ground instead of being recycled) they represent. Now, imagine SAVING all that energy/resources/pollution if people would simply be able to be buy and be happy with sturdy corded phones instead like those of yesteryear.
Not to be (extra) curmudgeonly or anything: I'm ok w/capitalism, our consumer society, etc... up to a point. But the RATE at which stuff is replaced nowadays is ridiculous. I know it's always justified due to new features and/or fashion (how many Gs you want on your new cellphone buddy? What is that... a GOLD iPhone? Copper's what all the beautiful people have now. ;)) but since stuff is expected to be replaced so soon, things are rarely made to last.
Lots of stuff sold these days is essentially junk: it looks nice new, but the finish, materials, workmanship and design/engineering are all such that the thing is much less nice to have/use a year or few down the road. Unless you pay top dollar of course: I'm sure someone makes nice hand tools... the kind that your grandchild will still be using... but if so, they sure as hell don't sell them at Home Depot. I've got some hand tools from MY grandfather, and they just feel better in the hand and seem less likely to break than the versions I purchased new myself. Of course, it's even worse for things like cars and computers and electronics and appliances: I mean, when you start taking those things apart it's astonishing how cheaply most parts of most things are made. The little bracket that holds up the power windows in my car is made of white plastic (maybe nylon) and practically every similar car of a certain age (usually about 7 years old or so) has that bracket break, necessitating a $400+ repair each time (per window mind you: I've had two fail so far ...most of that repair cost is for labor). The replacement part you buy from the original manufacturer is made of aluminum... presumably they don't use aluminum in the first place for cost reasons (plastic's cheaper). But this particular failure has surely happened tens of thousands of times by now... it's a well-known defect. The sadder thing is that when I was looking at a NEW version of my car in the showroom, I asked the service guy and learned that they STILL use the white plastic brackets! On the new cars! Even though they've KNOWN for more than a decade that they fail right after the warranty expires!
It's all too much for a boy to bear sometimes. :(
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::)
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CARP - Canadian Association of Retired People
Questions and Answers from CARP Forum
Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible...
Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt..."
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..
Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they **82** more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor!
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I'm usually not a fan of these sorts of lists, but that was fairly funny. Thanks Zorro! :)
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Women our age- they don't tell, they don't swell, and they're grateful as hell.
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8)
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8)
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:)
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www.youtube.com/v/3_6I50oXAVM (http://www.youtube.com/v/3_6I50oXAVM)
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If you remember when Jimi looked like this:
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:P
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when you don't know a single person in the top 100 and Wonder who Nikki Mileage is
-
^
I remember you. Welcome back!
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when you don't know a single person in the top 100 and Wonder who Nikki Mileage is
Not knowing who the top-selling recording artists are?! :D Welcome to middle age (even if you've arrived a bit early chronologically). ;)
:-* <- a peck on the cheek for the middle-aged lady. ;)
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::)
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Not knowing who the top-selling recording artists are?! :D Welcome to middle age (even if you've arrived a bit early chronologically). ;)
:-* <- a peck on the cheek for the middle-aged lady. ;)
nuuuu i'm not even 30 yet!
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nuuuu i'm not even 30 yet!
It must be those prior lives. 8)
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It must be those prior lives. 8)
Or maybe "dog years?"
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8)
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8)
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...you realize those sci-fi movies foretelling how the future will look are way off.
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:-\
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...you can admit that you're a bit more interested in your friend's lasagna (or enchiladas, or linguini with clams, etc...) than in the contents of her blouse.
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...you can admit that you're a bit more interested in your friend's lasagna (or enchiladas, or linguini with clams, etc...) than in the contents of her blouse.
I`m sorry to hear that. :'(
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I`m sorry to hear that. :'(
Don't be. Like bosoms, some lasagnas are more exceptional than others. ;)
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Don't be. Like bosoms, some lasagnas are more exceptional than others. ;)
Truth !
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...you realize those sci-fi movies foretelling how the future will look are way off.
I've thought about that, Zealot, and I think it's incomplete. You know you're getting old when you remember when a book came out, and now it's past the "future" described: 1984; 2001; Back to the Future.
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::)
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...there was a time when you had to send email using a bang path.
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...there was a time when you had to send email using a bang path.
I used the telegraph and Morse code.
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I used the telegraph and Morse code.
So did I ! When I was a kid in Mexico, my third grade teacher had us do an assignment which was to send him a telegram. It cost one Peso ( exchange rate was 12.50 Pesos for one US Dollar in 1965 ) for twenty characters per message. That was cheap but on the way to the telegraph office, two cops stopped us for speeding which was bullshit. Since my mom was white with green eyes they figured she was a gringa ( American ) and of course, in those days Mexicans just knew all Americans were rich so they decided to go for a " Mordida " which is Spanish for bite. The cops were satisfied when she gave them 40 Pesos so they would scram and leave us alone. Ah yes, good ol' public servants. Anyways, it cost only three Dollars or so but those Dollars were worth a whole lot more than todays Dollars so that telegram was pretty expensive as far as my mother was concerned. As for Morse code, as far as I know Navy Radiomen were/are still taught Morse for emergency use and we were all taught a few S.O.S. codes just in case. I retired close to twenty years ago and I don't know if the Navy still does this.
-
???
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:(
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...you realize those sci-fi movies foretelling how the future will look are way off.
hey we get pepsi perfect, hoverboards, selftying shoelaces and VR this year so...
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According to Back To The Future Part II, which had better be correct!! >: (
You know you're getting old when...
...sneezing the wrong way can injure your back. :\
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8)
-
You remember when the Simpsons were on Thursday nights.
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You remember Gunsmoke in glorious black & white.
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You remember Gunsmoke before Festus.
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You remember Gunsmoke before Festus.
Or Miss Kitty was still young looking. ;D
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You remember Gunsmoke before Festus.
Gunsmoke began on radio. I met Parley Baer, the radio voice of Chester (and the mayor on early episodes of the Andy Griffith Show), at a meeting of the Pacific Pioneer Broadcasters many years ago. A very kind man to a radio drama buff who was then very young.
William Conrad was Marshall Dillon on radio and Howard McNear -- Floyd the barber on Andy Griffith -- was Doc. It was probably the all time best-produced series on radio. It was also a fair bit darker, and Miss Kitty was pretty obviously a prostitute. (See? And you thought radio drama was all dorky melodrama. The Shadow was a kid's show, people.)
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Gunsmoke began on radio. I met Parley Baer, the radio voice of Chester (and the mayor on early episodes of the Andy Griffith Show), at a meeting of the Pacific Pioneer Broadcasters many years ago. A very kind man to a radio drama buff who was then very young.
William Conrad was Marshall Dillon on radio and Howard McNear -- Floyd the barber on Andy Griffith -- was Doc. It was probably the all time best-produced series on radio. It was also a fair bit darker, and Miss Kitty was pretty obviously a prostitute. (See? And you thought radio drama was all dorky melodrama. The Shadow was a kid's show, people.)
Thank you, Robin. I also remember the early t.v. shows, when "Call Marshall Dillon" brought James Arness out of Miss Kitty's room putting on his shirt. There was a certain understated elegance about that.
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...and Quint was the blacksmith (Burt Reynolds).
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:P
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I've thought about that, Zealot, and I think it's incomplete. You know you're getting old when you remember when a book came out, and now it's past the "future" described: 1984; 2001; Back to the Future.
Let's not forget when you see movies depicting a dystopian future,and everyone thinks it's such an "original" story,and you can name two or more old movies that had the same idea years before.Of course,nobody has ever heard of them. Hunger Games fans are totally unaware of Battle Royale.
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.
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I had my first colostomy today. :o
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Do you mean colonoscopy? Because there's a big difference... ???
-
Do you mean colonoscopy? Because there's a big difference... ???
Yes, I meant colonoscopy.
(Another sign of getting old brain-drift.) :P
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I had my first colostomy today. :o
Mazel tov! Welcome to middle age. ;)
-
.
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Remember when snap, crackle and pop was only referring to Rice Krispies cereal and not your joints or muscles ? :(
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An old guy was working out at the gym when he spotted a young hot girl walking in. He asked the trainer standing next to him, "What machine should I use to impress that girl over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said; "I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."
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A book about something you lived through appears in the History section at the library.
-
...you watch the musical guest on Saturday Night Live and immediately start griping about how in your day they knew how to play instruments, dammit!
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When you say that late night TV was so much better when Johnny Carson was on it and some Millennial k1d says...." Who ? ". :(
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...for you, "late-night TV" starts at 7 pm.
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Some people are surprised that you game. :(
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You saw the Moon landing on live TV in glorious black and white but the k1ds seem more impressed when you tell them your job in High School was at a service station and gasoline was $0.23 a gallon. ::)
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...you remember the lynching of Emmett Till when it happened.
...you realize that the woman who falsely accused him of the "crime" of whistling at her, leading directly to his murder, is still alive and well, and has never faced the consequences of her actions.
...you realize this:
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When you become aware that there are fewer days ahead than there are behind.
^It's no big secret that I stole that from Star Trek: Generations (1994). I had just turned 27, so it wasn't true for me at the time, but I've been watching the clock ever since ;D and it's certainly true now.
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The first time you see your sister after she's decided to let her hair go gray.
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When you see photos of your grandparents and you are older than them. ::) :P
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When you see photos of your grandparents and you are older than them. ::) :P
That's not likely to happen to me for quite some time. But one day it will.
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When you become aware that there are fewer days ahead than there are behind.
^It's no big secret that I stole that from Star Trek: Generations (1994). I had just turned 27, so it wasn't true for me at the time, but I've been watching the clock ever since ;D and it's certainly true now.
Ah, sad but true.
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When you see photos of your grandparents and you are older than them. ::) :P
I'm nearly as old as my father when he died. That's going to be feel weird.
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When the facts that you learned years earlier when you were much younger get mixed in your mind and you spew out wrong information without realizing it. :P :-[