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rtpoe

  • Old Fart
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Story nugget: "Workplace Orientation"
« on: June 16, 2022, 07:37:50 PM »
Feel free to 'expand' on this if you want!

"That pretty much covers all the important stuff. Any questions?"

"Oh, yes, the rumors. They're pretty much true. For no reason that anyone can figure out, women who work here have their breasts grow to a size corresponding to the value of the account they are working on. There's a lot of turnover - many women can't handle it. Others seem to take the job just so they can grow to a certain size; when they reach it, they quit. There's a similar...issue with the men, but it doesn't show as much."

"Yes, we have a reputation as being a 'sexy' workplace. Now that you're with us, you must be made aware of some rules that our HR department has. They aren't written down for reasons that should be obvious, but we do enforce them."

"First, this is a workplace. We have clients and other guests visiting every day. So always dress professionally. No walking around topless, or wearing lingerie. And keep the sex toys out of sight."

"Second, use birth control. We do have a better than required benefits package, but that doesn't mean we want to have a quarter of the work force out on maternity leave constantly."

"Third, keep your co-workers in mind. No one wants to see condom wrappers all over the place. Cum stains are a pain to clean up, and we can't afford to keep replacing furniture that breaks from overly enthusiastic 'meetings'."

"Finally, remember that we take harassment VERY seriously. Just because we're open with our sexuality doesn't give anyone the right to force themselves on another. Got it?"

"Now, one last thing before I introduce you to your team. Carol Delgado is our Chief Technology Officer, and she likes meeting all the new hires. It's a thing of hers; no one minds. Let me text her to see if she's ready for us.... You know that annex near the loading dock? That's her personal suite.... Well, as the highest ranking female executive in the company, you could say she's in charge of *all* our accounts....."
rtpoe

May we make wise choices in how and what we harvest,
may earth's weather turn kinder,
may there be enough food for all creatures,
may the diminishing light in our daytime skies
be met by an increasing compassion and tolerance
in our hearts.

-  Kathleen Jenks, Autumn Lore