Mercerwatch: The Collected Sightings thread

Craig_Mercer · « **on:** July 17, 2001, 12:35:00 AM »

The sightings have come so fast and furiously, I often have to backtrack and recap. I still insist that God and Russ meyer have switched places and Meyer is directing my life. The most recent and biggest extras include:

I Can't Drive 55, Not With Those Distracting Me... Immediately after hopping on the expressway last Friday I spot a crash-inspiring motorist stranded on the shoulder. She was lean and muscular, very athletic and packed a serious pair of 38-DDs.

Glossary: Serious breasts. Breasts so big and imposing they are as intimidating as two Mack 10's strapped onto the same woman. These bags are no fun. handle with care.

God Bless The 49th State:Later, on the job, I assist a 6 foot, 44DD cup teen, these werent tits, or juggs or hooters but a massive matronly bosom (think Lanie Kazan in My Favorite Year) that heaved and appeared to expand the longer I stared. She was intersted in a number of flimsy, disco tops and left a number of them distended and hanging pathetically off their hangers before settling on one. I rang her up, her 44 inch expanse dominating my field of view. Checked her ID for her credit card. Alaska. Apparently we need to introduce Whale blubber into the diet of the lower 48.

As Tall Laying Down as She was Standing Up:Back in '93 while a student in Iowa, a number of asian friends returned from an Iowa City house party with tales of a petite asian girl they immediately dubbed The Tommyknocker who fit the description 4'11" tall/4'11" around. Highly improbable but they werent breast men. I am and I was both turned on and frustrated by the tiny wonder i rung up on Friday. A very petite DD cupper about 4'11" max appears before my register, I glance up just in time to take note of her disproportionate orbs before she moved to close to the counter which she barely peered over. Thinking fast, I politely bring the bag around the counter to her for a full legth glance. Un-fucking-believable. Almost like those wind up boobies they sell in Spencers gifts. Like God put all of her height into depth and width.

She Won't Shut-Up About How Big She Is!: Lastly, i lingered aroung work for an extra 15 minutes yesterday assisting a feature dancer searching for stage clothes. She was in her late thirties and wore a long hard life look on her face. She was accompanied by her motorhead boyfriend who spent the entire time with his face buried in a car magazine. I can spot a feature dancer at 500 paces. Their stage persona and look typically show through on the street. Most of the time they even carry their tell-tale duffle-bags and always pay with a tell-tale wad of bills folded to g-string comfort. But the most tell tale feature here was the low-cut v-neck t-shirt revealing her 38-FF silicone distended sacs. She was very up-front (no pun intended) about her occupation naming two popular area clubs she stars. Most exciting though, was everytime she opened her mouth "I wear a medium but my boobs are so big", "I like these tops but I'm so big-chested", "I wear a small bottom but a Large or Medium top 'cause I'm huge up top". Other feature dancers I've helped say the same thing but with cheery attitude. This one was pokerfaced and was almost complaining, which was a real turn on. Unfortunately, she was way too big for the tops she chose to the point where she refused to model in the 3 way mirror. Still, at least I have a new contact at the strip club

JJ · « **Reply #1 on:** July 17, 2001, 11:06:00 AM »

I came for the Russ Meyer lead-in and stayed for the tidbits on observations you've been making "in the field". It's a tough job, but good to know you're doin' it!

JJ
a fellow Pennsylvanian

TheZookie007 · « **Reply #2 on:** August 10, 2001, 05:20:00 AM »

Yeah, keep it up, Mercer. I still wish you had one of those headcams though --you know, the camera built into the baseball cap thing...

Craig_Mercer · « **Reply #3 on:** September 27, 2001, 12:08:00 PM »

In the aftermath of the WTC disaster with no immediate way to exit the island, I sought immediate solace in a Barnes & Noble uptown, where I did spot the

-1.New Yorker cover with the Statue of Liberty's mighty bazooms thrust upwards by a corset suported by the cables of the brooklyn bridge.

-2. The FHM cover with Nikki Cox's pneumatic endowments rupturing her tank top.

and3. Best yet, British GQ's cover featuring the alarmingly big Jordan (who should be getting a LOT more coverage on this site). she too is breast obsessed offering her own sighting at the end ofher interview and multiple refernces to her 34-F and growing boob jobs.

I never mentioned this before but Tower records sometimes carries a Plastic Surgery trade sheet in it's book section. A spring 2001 edition had a feature on Linsey Dawn McKenzie who, while being proud of her huge natural breasts, had work done on her thighs, complete with before or after pictures. Now you know a girl has big tits when they creep down into a picture of her legs!

Craig_Mercer · « **Reply #4 on:** October 22, 2001, 12:54:00 PM »

I've told you all in the past about how much I love my retail job, my store being a magnet for adventurous women shoppers looking for more outrageous, risque clothing.

I've also told you about the high volume of said shoppers exhibiting every type of pulchritude be it in the face, the bust, the booty, in height or lack thereof from around the globe and local and of every race creed and nationality.

I believe if you backtrack through recent post I reported a sighting of a local toned, tanned, blond, cute and above all Hippo-Breasted phenomenon employed at a local Hooters. A ody double for say, Alyssa Alps.

You have replied to my sightings wishing it possible that I could photograph these customers. This would be quite awkward to say the least.

We also have posted our "patriotic" responses to the events of 9/11. (I've been sitting these out, this is not the place).

Well, due to an amazing turn of events and coincidences today concerning all of the above, Today I had the most incredible sighting. One that might even be shared by all of Philly and it's suburbs and every one in this forum Check This Shit Out.

I go bopping into work 2 hours early out of sheer boredom. My timing couldn't have been better. There in the fitting room of my store was Ol' Hippo-Tits and a less well endowed but otherwise incredible Hispanic friend modelling our best patrotic wear. Meaning her
42-F (confirmed) bazoombas were busting out of an overtaxed red tube top screenprinted with the flag and a bald eagle her otherwise painted on jeans and black clunky shoes completing the outfit. Modelling for whom? A reporter and photographer both female for the Philadelphia daily News. Turns out they showed up about the same time as the Phenom and her buddy for an impromptu photo to accompany a story on the proliferation of patriotic wear in the shadow of 9/11. Stay posted for the Daily News today or Tommorow. They have a website at PhillyNews.com Otherwise I may have some scanning to do. Unbelievable. The duo from the paper chose the two on the spot. got pictures and I was there to witness it all It couldn't get any better. It did.

After the folks from the paper did their job, exchanged info with the Phenom. The Phenom and her friend went about shopping during which she wedged her self into a number of shockingly tight and revealing tops including a mindbendingly stretched out vertical striped, midriff baring t-shirt she stretched to the seam busting point. In the process she fondled and plumped her breasts and asked our expert opinion. To top it off I had the pleasure of cashing her out. looking across the counter at her massive rack as it swelled and pressed against the counter gave the illusion that they were getting bigger and about to burst from her tight golden top.

I overheard her discussing the photo shoot with her friend. "I hope the pictures turn out good you'll probably only see my tits they're so big!". She was joking. "Nobody cares about the rest of me they only see my huge tits". I took, advantage, tore my eyes from her massive rack, looked her dead in the eyes and said " hey, your eyes are grey!" She blushed. She'll be back. Stay posted.

Goldeneye · « **Reply #5 on:** October 22, 2001, 01:56:00 PM »

Cool, Mercer. Very cool. If the pic goes up on the website, be sure to post a heads-up. And I don't think I'm alone when I say I'll be waiting for your next sighting of this girl.

Goldeneye

BillN · « **Reply #6 on:** October 22, 2001, 08:08:00 PM »

Yeah Mercer, very cool. The same thing happens to me a lot. Then, the alarm goes off, I get up, go to work.....shit!

jayjay88 · « **Reply #7 on:** October 22, 2001, 08:57:00 PM »

These are always good stories...I often think of reporting on my sightings on the London Underground...maybe someday soon!

Thanx and keep us posted!

**DONOTDELETE** · « **Reply #8 on:** October 22, 2001, 11:24:00 PM »

Unless I'm mistaken, this is the story URL--no photos: Philly News Clothing Story

The_Rocketeer · « **Reply #9 on:** October 23, 2001, 12:30:00 AM »

Security Cameras Craig!

Aw heck, even without the images, you still paint some mighty fine pictures there. Did you get the photographer's name? Tell her that you want to put up some of the pictures she shot in the store or to put in your "scrap book"?

Just a thought.

**DONOTDELETE** · « **Reply #10 on:** October 23, 2001, 12:45:00 AM »

goddaamn you Merc, goddamn you to hell =).

Davastav · « **Reply #11 on:** October 23, 2001, 04:14:00 AM »

That sounds like the story Mercer was referring to in the "King of Prussia Mall". We should do a mass email to the photographer at the paper and beg him to post the photos that were taken that day.

Goldeneye · « **Reply #12 on:** October 23, 2001, 05:10:00 AM »

Said The Mighty Mercer:

quote:
There in the fitting room of my store was Ol' Hippo-Tits and a less well endowed but otherwise incredible Hispanic friend modelling our best patrotic wear. Meaning her 42-F (confirmed) bazoombas were busting out of an overtaxed red tube top screenprinted with the flag and a bald eagle her otherwise painted on jeans and black clunky shoes completing the outfit. Modelling for whom? A reporter and photographer both female for the Philadelphia daily News. Turns out they showed up about the same time as the Phenom and her buddy for an impromptu photo to accompany a story on the proliferation of patriotic wear in the shadow of 9/11.

Says the article:

quote:
Teens want to be patriotic, too, and the assortment of clothing at the King of Prussia Bang Bang store should do the trick.
Off-the-shoulder black flag T-shirts are sassy. And who can do without a bald eagle tube top? The eagle has landed, ladies - in a compromising place.
"It's just fun," said Danielle Cowan of Ridley Township, who modeled one of the tube tops in red outside a dressing room. "I even had a flag dress made - red in the back with a slit up the front. I wore it to a 10th anniversary party."

I think we've found our goddess, gentlemen.

Goldeneye · « **Reply #13 on:** October 23, 2001, 05:41:00 AM »

Could someone be so good as to scan the picture?

**DONOTDELETE** · « **Reply #14 on:** October 23, 2001, 06:33:00 AM »

pictures PLEAASE pictures. Precious loves the pictures of the breastesessss , yessssss -golum (refomed evil troll now turned tit maniac)