bwaaaaahhhh!
Except that he's not. The Coz is seven different kinds of awesome, whilst Captain Kangaroo is a liar and a criminal. He's neither a Captain nor a Kangaroo; also, he's well before any of our times. What was he from like the 50's? Has anyone ever actually seen an episode of Captain Kangaroo? Now some things from the old days carry over like Elvis, Hughes Aircraft, and What's Happenin'. But, I'm fairly certain that there was no demand for this supposed Captain in syndication. We have sworn testimony from Romper Room's Miss Midori that Captain Kangaroo, "probably would have tried to fondle her, because that's what guys with creepy fake mustaches do".
This Kangaroo court has reached a verdict, and we find the defendant guilty... of being lame!