No one ever says what they mean these days. There's always a sub-text, or a hidden meaning. Print out this guide to bar-speak and get ahead of the curve.
1. "You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.)
2."I'll get this one, next one is on you."(Happy hour is about to
end...drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.)
3."Hey, where is that friend of yours?"(I have no interest in
talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising
position.)
4."Can I get a glass of white zinfandel."(female)(I'm easy.)
5."Can I get a glass of white zinfandel."(male)(I'm gay.)
6."Ever try a body shot?"(male to female)(I am even willing to drink
tequila if it means that I get to lick you.)
7."Ever try a body shot?"(female to male)(If this is how wild I am
in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?)
8."I don't feel well, let's go home." (female)(You are paying more
attention to your friends than me.)
9.I don't feel well, let's go home." (male)(I'm horny.)
10."Who's got the next round?"(I haven't bought a round in almost 3
years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.)
11."Excuse Me."(male to male) (Get the hell out of the way.)
12."Excuse Me."(male to female)(I am going to grope you now.)
13."Excuse Me."(female to male)(Don't even think about groping me,
just get the hell out of the way.)
14."Excuse Me."(female to female)(Move your fat ass. Who do you
think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that
you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho... Get your eyes off of my man, or
I'll slap you, bitch, like the slut you are.)
15."What do you have on tap?" (What's cheap?)
16."Can I have a white Russian?" (male)(I'm *really* gay.)
17."Can I have a white Russian?" (female)(I'm *really* easy.)
18."That person looks really familiar."(Did I **82** with him/her?)
19."Can I just get a glass of water?" (female)(I'm annoying, but cute
enough to get away with this.)
20."I don't have my ID on me." (female)(I'm 19.)
21."I don't have my ID on me." (male)(I don't have a license since
I got pulled over and blew a 0.4 after my last visit here.)
Please note: These are the words of various individuals overheard in a bar. The meanings are best guesses based upon further conversation, body language, eye movements, hand signals, elbows to the ribs, and other non-verbal communications.
22."My God, will you look at the size of her breasts."(male)(I wish I could see her in a tight fitting sweater)
(female)(Thank God, she's NOT wearing a tight sweater)
This is JustMeMike 
[ September 18, 2001: Message edited by: JustMeMike ]