I must've had this thread on my mind a lot lately; I had a dream about her the other night. She wasn't "movie star Drew Barrymore," she was this girl I'd been having a very casual relationship with, and after some months of amazing sex she told me she was pregnant, and that she couldn't bring herself to get rid of the baby, and so we needed to get married.
She lived in an old Victorian house that had been divided up and made into a few apartments, and hers was in what had once been the attic. I remember it was decorated like a dollhouse, pink on the walls and all over, and lots of frilly-edged throw pillows and strange things, which seemed at odds with her personality and style. We stood there on her cream-colored carpet, and when I finished my massive, massive panic attack, I told her I would of course love the baby and do everything possible to support it and be there for it and help raise it 50/50, but there was no way I was ever marrying her. She became really upset and emotional, and I'm like, "I am NOT mad that you're pregnant! I'm not scared, I'm not running away--but I cannot marry you! We're not even in a relationship! That was NEVER part of the bargain! When we first started having sex, you were like, 'We're both young and busy all the time and we're seeing other people and our lives are just getting started, and you're not available enough for a relationship, and I don't feel like being tied down. We have nothing in common and it would be a terrible idea, and this is just gonna a whole lot of sex.' How are you gonna jump from that to MARRIAGE?"
I didn't say it out loud, but inside, I was also thinking, "...And you've lost a BUNCH of weight got a fucking reduction and those big, juicy breasts and those awesome hips and that big ass are all gone, and if you weren't such a monster in the sack I wouldn't even be **83** with you at all!"
And then I thought, "...But damn. This pregnancy's gonna make your body rock SO fucking hard. All that, and milk too??? It's almost worth marrying you just to make sure it's all mine..."
But I didn't budge. She started raving and crying and stuff, and I stuck to my guns, and told her I'd be there for her through the entire pregnancy and beyond, and I'd be a willing father to the [censored], but any attempt at a relationship was out of the question because everyone would end up suffering.
Then I left her apartment and went to visit another girl I'd been seeing, who had long, dark hair, a perfect body, and HUGE tits. I don't know who she was, and she didn't appear for very long, but somehow I knew that in the dream, I was seeing several different girls, but this was the one I was (secretly) desperately in love with, but she wasn't interested in pursuing anything long-term with me.
I looked bedraggled and haunted, and when I came in, she said I looked like I had been through something awful. I told her I had, and she asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said no, that I needed to forget it for a while, and so I needed her to fuck my brains out. She did. But I couldn't completely enjoy it, because the whole time I was thinking, "If I had to get somebody pregnant, why couldn't it have been her?"
All this because of this thread. ...I gotta stop comin around here so much.