There's a lump on my testicle

herringbone · « **Reply #30 on:** February 10, 2007, 09:59:42 AM »

Is that a lump on your testicle, or are you happy to see me?

herring "it had to be said" bone

MunchWolf · « **Reply #31 on:** February 10, 2007, 11:53:38 AM »

Quote:

I hoped you wouldn't bring the Wiggles up.

Thinking of you always gets my wiggle up

-Munch "fruuuuuuuuit saaaaaaaaalad" Wolf

Imaginos · « **Reply #35 on:** February 12, 2007, 07:09:17 AM »

I too hope this lump is nothing more then some inert harmless fatty tissue or somesuch.

Smart move going with the next visit. What is it with these doctors these days? "We don't know what it is so ignore it" WFT?!

ZoD · « **Reply #36 on:** February 21, 2007, 11:01:01 AM »

Whats going on now? Anything in the pipes? Oh dear...not a pleasant pun...

Zealot · « **Reply #37 on:** February 21, 2007, 01:11:11 PM »

Yeah,MW,what's the news today?

ftl03 · « **Reply #39 on:** February 24, 2007, 02:52:35 PM »

Hello Munchwolf - here's hoping that it is indeed just a fatty thingy, or a leftover probe from a past alien **66**.

To cheer you up, a few years ago I discovered a lump just next to my scrotum. I was on a trip to the US at the time and decided to run for home in Europe rather than take my chances in Hicksville SC.
Got home, went to see a specialist who put me at my ease (if you can be at your ease with a stranger man(sic)handling you) saying that it was "just" an abcess which would need operating on.
He suggested a date 4 days later, unless it burst in the meantime. Went home, went to bed and woke up the next morning to find that it had indeed gone pop - was admitted immediately.

Woke up an hour later and was told that it had been far deeper than he had imagined and that he had had to install a drain which would require flushing three times a day.

So three times a day for a week, nurses would come into my room, whip off my sheets and pump a pint of antiseptic into my groin. Usually this was timed to coincide with visits to my room by cleaners, floor polishers, the lady with tomorrows menu etc. - all of whom were graced with a view of my fiddly bits and who all said "Oh it's looking a lot better today Mr FTL !"

To add insult to injury, when I went back to Outpatients 10 days later to have the stitches removed I was put in a cabin, told to remove my trousers and lie on the bed. The nice lady doctor had removed one stitch when she was called away, leaving the cabin door open with me facing the door.
It didn't take me long to realise that the general public were passing in front of my cabin - but long enough to have shocked several nuns and small ch*ldr*n before I waddled over to shut the door.

I think that I might just about have got over it now.

Wait till you have an ultrasound of your prostate! No anaesthetic for that, just a giant electric toothbrush.

Agrafeuse · « **Reply #41 on:** March 02, 2007, 01:12:49 AM »

Well, upon reading this unfortunate tale, I thought maybe it was time to go on a little trip downstairs and have a fiddle around...

...after some serious masterbation I then started checking for lumps.

And found two.

Now of course I was utterly petrified and went to see my doctor immediately. She had a play around (she was very attractive but I was metaphorically crapping my pants, so nothing embarassing, er... came up... so to speak.

I had to go and have them checked out- all the scans etc. I don't know if the process is different in the US, but suffice to say I had someone scratching my bollocks for half the morning while I stared up at the ceiling counting how many holes there were in the tiles.

175... just so you know (25x25)

So, I had some urology tests done and a checkup from a cancer specialist and got the results back yesterday. I guess I am extremely lucky in that mine was not serious- merely one of those unusual occurences.

I think the moral of the story is guys (and ladies of course, though in different 'zones'

) to check yourself regularly.

(I almost said "check yourself before you wreck yourself" I reckon that would make a powerful advertisment campaign...)

Anyway, thank you Munch, thank you so much.

MunchWolf · « **Reply #42 on:** August 02, 2011, 10:24:12 AM »

This thread was recently brought to my attention. Just wanted to say, 4 years later and my testicles are fine.

-Munch "not just fine, they're SPECTACULAR" Wolf

solvegas · « **Reply #43 on:** August 02, 2011, 10:33:35 AM »

Quote from: MunchWolf on August 02, 2011, 10:24:12 AM

-Munch "not just fine, they're SPECTACULAR" Wolf

Well .... OK, if you say so.

gOOber · « **Reply #44 on:** August 02, 2011, 10:38:33 AM »

Quote from: MunchWolf on August 02, 2011, 10:24:12 AM

This thread was recently brought to my attention. Just wanted to say, 4 years later and my testicles are fine.

-Munch "not just fine, they're SPECTACULAR" Wolf

Then don`t let your meat loaf.

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