Adventures in Driving
When Beshine dropped by the other day, we got to talking and she mentioned that she had never driven a manual transmission car before, so I said, let's take my Mini Cooper out for a spin and I would teach her. Being the gentleman, I opened the drivers door and Beshine sat on the seat, but when she went to swivel around to face the steering wheel, her right boob pressed up against it. I reached down and adjusted the seat backward an inch or so to allow her to fully face the wheel, her massive boobies just barely touching it. I told her to just lean back in the seat and she replied she couldn't lean back any further, the sport seat buttresses were pushing her sideboobs forward. So I went back into the house, grabbed a pillow, and shoved it behind her middle back for support. At this time, she told me that her feet could barely touch the pedals. Reasoning that we could not push the seat further forward because her huge boobies were already touching the wheel, I reclined the seatback further and tilted the wheel down to give her more boob room, before pushing the seat forward; mission accomplished; she was ready to drive.
Or so I thought. I tried closing the door, only to find it was a good 3" from closing; her massive left sideboob preventing closing. So, she said wait a second as she, using her arms, lifted her massive mammaries to the right, her left boobie contacting the horn as she did, sufficiently to get the door closed. All is good, I ran around and got in the passenger side and we were ready to go. Telling her to stick the key disc into the slot and push the start button proved to be yet another problem when she said "what button?" It was at this point that I became aware that her huge boobies were blocking the view of the dashboard, so I proceeded to do it for her after making sure the shifter was in neutral and she had her foot on the clutch. And just like that, the Mini started right up and we were ready to hit the road.
Or so I thought. I said to place the shifter in reverse, which is to the left and forward, but she replied "I can't see the shifter." Guiding her right hand, I placed it on the shifter, only to find that her sideboob would not allow the shifter lever to go even the tiny amount necessary to get it into reverse, so, as Beshine lifted her right breast, I was able to get it into reverse. All is good, but she let out the clutch too fast, causing the car to jerk and her boobies once again, blowing the horn, but after restarting the car, we were ready for her driving lesson.
Or so I thought; cautioning her that she needed to put on her seatbelt first. Ok, no problem I thought, but I was wrong; being so tightly wedged between the seat and the wheel, she could not reach the seatbelt behind her left shoulder. I got out of the Mini, went around to her side and pulled it out so that she could reach it. Then it became evident, we had yet another problem; the shoulder strap could not possibly reach over her enormous girls and be latched. She said not to worry, this has happened before and what she always had to do was remove her top and let it go between her cleavage. As happy as I was at the prospect, I was a bit concerned with her driving topless, but as she pointed out, no one will notice because her boobies were well below the window sill. So after putting the convertible top down so that she could get her top off, everything was looking good, actually great, maybe too great. Ok, though I was worried about my own distraction, now we can get going.
Or so I thought. As we backed down the driveway, she said that she needed to change the station to some hip hop music. Reaching for the radio, her left boobie firmly pressing against the horn, but still unable to reach the radio, I offered to find the station for her. At least, sitting back, the horn finally stopped. And now, we were once again ready to hit the road.
Or so I thought. After backing out the driveway, she was frantically trying to turn the wheel to turn the poor Mini in line with the road, however, with both arms firmly extended and lying atop the huge boobies, it became abundantly clear that the only part of the steering wheel she could actually touch was the top and, without arm movement, she was turning the wheel perhaps a couple inches in a hand over hand method. I quickly reached over and helped her turn the wheel sufficiently and everything was fine.
Or so I thought. After once again releasing the clutch too fast, causing the Mini to stall, the car jerking, and her big boobies once again blowing the horn as if to signal that something had gone wrong, she restarted, found the shifter, almost deftly placed it into 1st gear and away we went on a tour of the neighborhood as I had already decided that getting on the open road was not a good idea. I was happy that she could see the tachometer, and displaying an apparent knowledge of shifting, Beshine pressed in on the clutch and went for 2nd gear, everything was clearly falling into place.
Or so I thought. Apparently, I missed the obvious problem; her massive sideboob was in the way of getting the shifter into 2nd gear, so I told her to just rev a little further and we would use just the odd number gears. Everything was fine, even after she leaned forward to adjust the volume, which, naturally, set off the horn once again as she did. Nothing to see here folks, just the most massively breasted girl in the world, driving topless, with the top down and bouncing to the music that was something about shake the boobies. And some guy in the passenger seat that clearly, was no longer concentrating on the road. What could go wrong?
Or so I thought. Unable to turn the wheel fast enough to make our first corner, we ended up on a neighbor's lawn, the Mini coming to a quick stop as Beshine hit the brakes, once again, her huge boobies pressing on the horn, essentially announcing our presence. As they came out of the house, I suggested to Beshine that perhaps I should drive now and got out of the Mini, apologized to the neighbors standing around, and went around to open the door for Beshine, only then totally aware that we had left her top in the garage. After pointing out the problem, she said not to worry, she could cover herself with her hands; problem solved.
Or so I thought. Clearly, her hands are not big enough to hide the massive boobies as she bounced around to the other side. Just another day in the neighborhood I thought.