On this morning's BBC 5 Live radio quiz show Fighting Talk a contestant was asked the question, "who would you least like to have woken up as this morning?" His answer was Chelsea and England centre back John Terry, because he is (allegedly*) shagging Linsey Dawn McKenzie and "to wake up next to Linsey would be the worst imaginable experience." He added, "for those of you who don't know about Linsey Dawn McKenzie, she looks like Jordan's grandmother."
Well, the show is called Fighting Talk after all.
* Linsey does seem to prefer footballers. A footballer is a person who plays football, a game known to Americans as "soccer".