[rtpoe]

Battle: LA

That last paragraph was already way too much time and mental energy spent on sober explication of a movie that made me wish, from the first to the last of its 116 minutes (forewarned is forearmed!), that I were at home watching Paul Verhoeven's "Starship Troopers" again instead. Eckhart's remarkable machine-tool face, and the I've-been-to-hell-and-back hardass demeanor he affects as Staff Sgt. Mike Nantz, nominal protagonist of "Battle: Los Angeles," would actually fit beautifully in "Starship Troopers." Here, unfortunately, all the military jargon and barked orders, and the whole "I'm too damn tough to reveal the wounded depths of my American soul" thing, are completely po-faced. Which is probably why the audience at the New York screening I attended started to laugh.

- Andrew O'Heir, Salon.com

He’s saddled with a sad group of fighting men (and one woman), as well as an abysmal script by Christopher Bertolini and upchuck-inducing direction by Jonathan Liebesman (Darkness Falls).

It’s been shot digitally with what seems like one completely unhinged camera, the aliens apparently having **91** our Steadicam technology.

- Peter Howell, Toronto Star

When the mothership finally arrives, it's a clinking, clanking, clattering collection of metallic parts, as if Fred Sanford's junkyard suddenly became airborne.

- Joe Neumaier, New York Daily News

And finally...

When I think of the elegant construction of something like "Gunfight at the OK Corral," I want to rend the hair from my head and weep bitter tears of despair. Generations of filmmakers devoted their lives to perfecting techniques that a director like Jonathan Liebesman is either ignorant of, or indifferent to. Yet he is given millions of dollars to produce this assault on the attention span of a generation.

Young men: If you attend this crap with friends who admire it, tactfully inform them they are idiots. Young women: If your date likes this movie, tell him you've been thinking it over, and you think you should consider spending some time apart.

- Roger Ebert

[number3fac]

While I haven't seen it yet, the movie basically looks like Stuff Blows Up For Two Hours.  And sometimes, that's all I really want to watch.  If I had a console system with a "shooter" or other action game, I'd probably just play that for 2 hours instead.  However I don't, so I may watch this...but if I do, I'd check out a matinee for the cheapest price possible because it looks like the only real value to this is going to be seeing the Big Explosions on a Big Screen.

[Cutter]

Save your money and watch the SciFi channels rip off of it this weekend.

Or do something constructive with the time, like watching dust collect on your countertops.

[DruulEmpire]

Aw jeez, Liebesman.  The only good part of his Darkness Falls is the ending credits when you get to hear the song "Gunboat."

You do know why you must NOT see this, right?  Because if it makes ANY money, Battle: NYC and Battle: Las Vegas will immediately be foisted upon us ...

[rtpoe]

So, you want to see things explode?

Implosion World

Fire and explosion at a rocket fuel plant

The end of Ripple Rock (the largest peacetime non-nuclear explosion ever)

Castle Bravo - 15 megatons

Tsar Bomba - ~50 megatons

[pedonbio]

   Hey--I watched the original Ripple Rock blast. It was cool.

And my brother was at Castle Bravo. In his humble opinion, it was a total fuck-up from one end to the other. But nobody asked the chiefs.

[Hark]

Ok, allow me to be the first to not only admit having spent money to watch "Battle: Los Angeles", but to also admit that I liked it.

It wasn't so much about blowing stuff up, or killing/getting killed by aliens, as it was a movie of not giving up, even when fighting an unknown enemy; never leave anyone behind; and just when they might get a  break, something else comes along.  It's the invasion seen from the eyes of a Marine squad behind the lines.  Being an Army veteran, this movie touched a chord or two...

I'm glad it wasn't stuffed with people running TO the aliens with peace signs, "Make yourself at home", "Beam me up", "Jesus was an alien", etc.

(Heavy sarcasm alert) I'm sure there are a dozen dramas out there that preach the same qualities, casted by a bunch of effeminate fops wearing rainbow-colored cashmere sweaters, but at least I got to see shit blow up. lol jk

[TheZookie007]

I love Roger Ebert -- when he hates something, he really hates it, but he is so witty in his hate. And that Peter Howell Steadicam quip is genius

[pedonbio]

I love Roger Ebert -- when he hates something, he really hates it, but he is so witty in his hate.

He reminds me of Boswell's book review: "I am seated in the smallest room in my home. The book is in front of me. Soon it will be behind me."

[Hark]

Having seen the film for myself, and then reading Ebert's slam here (via rtpoe's post) on said film (along with anyone who saw it), I felt better after reading this:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/14/battle.la.ew/index.html?hpt=Sbin

The highlight:

1. "Battle: Los Angeles" -- $36.0 mil
2. "Rango" -- $23.1 mil
3. "Red Riding Hood" -- $14.1 mil
4. "The Adjustment Bureau" -- $11.5 mil
5. "Mars Needs Moms" -- $6.8 mil

Not bad for a 1st weekend.

[Shara]

I'll probably watch it

[rtpoe]

Yesterday I watched "Colossus: The Forbin Project". A very nice, thought-provoking thriller from 1970. Charles Forbin (Eric Braden) designs a super-computer to control all of America's nuclear arsenal, and monitor things for potential threats (see "War Games"). But he made it too good, and the thing achieves sentience and decides the best way to keep the peace is to take over the world (in conjunction with its Soviet counterpart).

The computer technology on display is both dated and hokey (if Colossus can understand speech, why do you need to type in instructions?), and there are some really questionable aspects of the design of Colossus.

But I spent a goodly amount of mental energy today pondering possible ways of defeating or neutralizing Colossus, along with the question: If the only ways Colossus can enforce its dictates is with the threat of nuclear weapons, would it be worth it to get it to fire them all off?

I doubt "Battlefield: LA" would have me thinking of anything other than "That was a waste of my time."

On another note, may I present some screencaps. Susan Clark and Eric Braden. And an accursed wine glass...

[DruulEmpire]

I love "Colossus."  Eric Braeden was THE MAN.

Fascinating slip you just made: "Battlefield: LA."  Battlefield Earth ... Battle: LA.  A scaling down, perhaps?

[100ProofBE]

Having seen the film for myself, and then reading Ebert's slam here (via rtpoe's post) on said film (along with anyone who saw it), I felt better after reading this:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/14/battle.la.ew/index.html?hpt=Sbin

The highlight:

1. "Battle: Los Angeles" -- $36.0 mil

Not bad for a 1st weekend.

Hardly surprising. I don't begrudge you your opinion or your right to express it but as the great Henry Louis Mencken said "no one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public" (might be paraphrasing slightly).

Personally I enjoy being pandered to every now and then and I like a good 'splosion film... but I've seen ID4, Starship Troopers, and the last two movies Jonathan Leibsman directed so I can make an educated assumption that I won't enjoy it. Perhaps down the road I'll catch it on cable in a moment of weakness.

[pedonbio]

I love "Colossus."  Eric Braeden was THE MAN.

Me, too. On the other hand, I hated "THX 1138".

I await our Hollywood bankers to present us with "Battle: LA: Redux". No, too cerebral. "Battle: LA:2".