[Mercerwatch]

I've been plugging the folowing searches into the microblogging service-
The Biggest::Boobs/Breasts/Tits/Titties
And I invariably catch someone out there who's just been distracted by the proportions of some anonymous big breasted woman
who's just passed by or is working out nearby or eating at the next table. Granted, everyone's perception of big is different, still
the results are inspiring. My fave of this past week.

Ms [Redacted]_
Dis lady just walked by me and she had the biggest boobs I've ever seen? They looked like 2 basketballs under her blouse!
8/12 NYC

[bmoc434]

Can you post a link for that site, The Biggest::Boobs/Breasts/Tits/Titties? Thanx

[Mercerwatch]

"This lady has the biggest tits I have ever seen EVER. Holy shit they each weigh at least 30 pounds." #OHMYGOD
Boston, noon 9/1/11

"The girl I just saw on the #Indians telecast has the biggest tits I have ever seen in my life."
Ohio, 8/31/11 *Wednesday they played Oakland at home 16 inning game.

[Mercerwatch]

There is a TINY old lady sitting by the pool with the BIGGEST boobs I have ever seen in my life #Jeso #top-heavy. UK, 9/4

this girl who im watching a movie with has the biggest boobs ive ever seen the size of my head each ones..im not lesbo but cant stop lookin. PA 9/3

[Mercerwatch]

This Lady with The Biggest Titties Ever just came up to me at work n said "excuse me there's no more Milk left" Lmaao!  srry I had to laugh. NJ, 9/5.

Yhooo saw the biggest pair of boobs I've ever. ! Yeerr #dairy !
S. Africa 9/5

[TheZookie007]

Dolly Parton & Jessica Simpson tweet about their enormous boobs

How many of you knew that Dolly Parton was on Twitter? I didn’t know before today! I could have been following Dolly for months! Damn. Anyway, Dolly’s Twitter feed is pretty f-cking cool, just like the lady herself. Classic tweets, just from the past few days, include such musings as: “Support the Cure. My friends are bowling for boobs tonight in atlanta, strike!” and “Storms make trees take deeper roots.” Unfortunately, most of the tweets seem to be written by her assistant or something, and they revolve around contests and promotional things. Ah, Dolly. Always a businesswoman. So awesome.

So Dolly tweeted yesterday: “Aahhh chiropractor… Hurts so good  you lug these around and see if your back don’t hurt!” To which I can only say, “God bless you, Dolly.” I’m not alone, either. Jessica Simpson reads Dolly’s Twitter too, and she responded with and “Amen, sister!” Aw… Dolly should take Jessica under her wing.

Funny enough, Us Weekly described this Twitter situation, and then used the article to remind us once again why so many of us call Jessica’s dad “Pervert Joe”:

Jessica Simpson’s breasts have long been the center of attention.

Her father Joe raised eyebrows when he praised her assets in a 2004 GQ interview.

“Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both,” he said. “She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!”

(From Us Weekly)

That goddamn quote gets me every time. Every time I grimace. Every time I wince. It’s just so disgusting. That quote might get put on Pervert Joe’s gravestone.

And since we’re talking about the Simpson family now, I thought I’d include this little piece about Ashlee. It’s from Fox News 411, and it’s in the same vein as yesterday’s stories about the “real reasons” Ashlee was dumped from Melrose Place. Yesterday’s theories included the “Heather Locklear pushed her off” theory and the “Ashlee sucks at everything” theory. Fox News’ theory is that Ashlee was fired because she was a diva. And because she sucked.

Ashlee Simpson’s diva behavior got her booted from the CW hit ‘Melrose Place’, a source close to one cast member tells Fox411.

“Ashlee was kicked off ‘Melrose Place’ because she was a total diva on set, late all the time, and deeply disliked by fellow cast members,” the insider spills. “It created a lot of discord among the cast.”

Another big problem, says the snitch? “She could barely act.”

(If you saw her episodes, you know this to be true.)

But not being able to act and being a diva hardly set Simpson apart from many of the venerable primetime soap’s stars, both current and past. The insider tells Fox411 it was the producer’s need to bring in one of those past stars that also hastened Simpson’s swan song.

The source says producers desperately wanted Heather Locklear to reprise her role, but couldn’t afford her salary demands without cutting someone.

“They basically trimmed the fat and made it possible for Heather to join the show,” says the snitch. “Heather is a much bigger name than Ashlee.”

(From Fox News 411)

Interesting… I could see it. Ashlee seems like a “everybody treat me like I’m the most special” kind of person. Probably because no one in her family treated her like she was special. Because her pervert father was too busy studying Jessica’s boobs. Cringe.

and

TVNZ, 09/08/11: "Jess Simpson tweets of love for her breasts"

Jessica Simpson "loves" her breasts.

The 31-year-old singer-and-actress - who is engaged to former NFL player Eric Johnson - was believed to be downsizing her assets before tying the knot in a bid to look more svelte in her wedding dress.

However, the blonde beauty has confirmed her boobs "aren't going anywhere".

Writing on her twitter page, Jessica said: "Been getting lots of questions about this alleged breast reduction...not to worry...I LOVE MY BOOBIES!! They aren't going anywhere!

"It's UDDERly not true! Breast assured everyone! (sic)"

The star has previously admitted she struggled to cope with her massive bust when she was younger and even considered strapping down her breasts to make them look smaller....

WIN.


(The Celebitchy page included thumbnails and links for stories involving chi!dren, so it had to be removed. Instead, I've pasted the text of the article into Zook's post. - gonZo)

[Mercerwatch]

"This lady at this hospital has the BIGGEST BOOBS I'VE EVER SEEN!  ive seen some pretty big boobs these things are natural and off the charts"
KY 9/19

"Just been served in [Redacted] by a girl called Milcah. She had the biggest breasts I've ever, ever seen. Appropriate."
UK 9/18

"This lady at work has the biggest boobs in the free world. Each one is big as my entire ass. Always tell myself "get a glimpse, look away."
WA 9/20

"Talking to the scariest black girl with the biggest boobs ever... and she wrestles... #help."
NE 9/20

"Definitely just saw the biggest set of boobs I've ever seen in my life. If only there was a non-rude way to take a picture & share with ..."
CA 9/19

"This substitute has the biggest tits I've ever seen"
FL 9/20

"just seen the biggest tits in my life asked the girl what size she was DOUBLE H ohhh my god"
UK 9/19 [good girl!]

"Literally just saw the biggest tits on albany campus by far. #sheesh"
NY 9/19

"Holy jesus, I just saw a really skinny white lady with THE BIGGEST tits I've ever seen. It looks like she stuffed 2 basketballs in her shirt"
AZ 9/18

"Girl at the gas station has the biggest tits in the world. Her boobs can open the door she doesn't need her hands. #ohhhyeahh"
KY 9/18

"just way a woman with the biggest tits i've ever seen in real life! these were like the size of a beachball"
CA 9/18

"I just saw a girl with the biggest tits. She was 10 feet away and they still almost hit me in the face ^_^?!!!"

"Soo I just saw this lady that had the biggest/saggiest tits that they were resting on her bike handlebar 8O hahaha. #reductiontime?"
[never] OK 9/15

"I just saw the biggest tits ever. She could smash a coke can with those jugs."
KS 9/15