[Robin_K2]

It can be a pretty serious problem for me. If others here also suffer from it, I think we might all benefit from discussing how it affects us, and our strategies for beating it. Sadly, there's still a societal stigma, but we're all anonymous here. I'd like to both offer and receive help if anyone else here also struggles.

[solvegas]

To be honest I have no idea if I suffer from it or if I'm clinically depressed because I guess I don't really want to find out. Generally I try to keep a sunny disposition but there are times I just feel awful. I sometimes fall into self pity which I loathe. Sometimes I feel isolated and not worth thinking about. I don't know, to be honest, what is the normal range of feeling shitty. Is there a measurable range ? I recently had a relationship which ended and I had to tell her to leave. It was not good nevertheless I feel miserable about it. Of course, being raised a catholic means I'm full of guilt even for things I'm not responsible for. My solution is to just lower my head and go on like a bull and plow through it. I've been doing this since I was a small kid and being the runt of the litter means it's never been easy and I've never been at peace with myself. Sorry, I'm starting to prattle on too long. 

[rtpoe]

Advice From a 92-Year-Old Veteran of WWII on Getting Out of a Dark Place

[DruulEmpire]

I want to thank everyone for opening this up.  I've been clinically depressed probably my entire life.  It's dysthymic disorder, probably as mild and high-functioning a depression as you can ask for, but it still had me pretty bad.  During the Nineties I considered it an accomplishment to wake up in time to catch the Jenny Jones Show, and only in late 2003 did I bother to address the fact that my front teeth were turning black from inattention.  (At times the dentists were REALLY pissed at me.)  About all a university study was able to do was to expose me to something called Provigil, only to run up against insurance problems continuing it.

I have to confess that I find it difficult to relate to any of my fellow depressed who go into crying jags or such.  I once watched a video of the Jimmy Webb song "The Moon's a Harsh Mistress" and bawled for two days, but otherwise I don't find myself dwelling in darkness too much.  For me, it's been a simple problem of motivation.  Why get up?  Why do anything?

I'm not in a great place socially, but it's good.  My parents have mellowed and they like me.  My sister is very nice.  I see two good old friends every week.  Perversely, though, I want to be a writer, and one failed 800 page manuscript of mine is sitting around in boxes.  I had fourteen porn stories nationally published and in "legit" writing I once won an international short story contest, but just about anyone will tell you that writing, with any serious intent, is a frustrating avocation.

Currently I find myself prodded along by sheer aging.  I turn 52 this month.  If I'm going to get anything done, it's got to be soon.   

[Zorro]

My life, like everyone's, has it's ups and downs.

Having a violent abusive father did not help at all, but it was the beginning of my PTSD. You do not have to be in combat or even in the military to suffer from this. However after being whipped and beaten until I left home to join the Navy in 1971 I found that even basic training was not as bad as my existence at my home.

After witnessing berthing compartment fires, shot up planes and pilots and other sorts of death, my depressions only got worse.

In 2008 I was suicidal and eventually spent 12 days in the Psych ward at the VA hospital. It was here I was finally diagnosed with chronic depression and PTSD.

Since then I take my meds, see my shrink every 6 months, and live off of my V.A. disability pension. It's not a lot of money, but I am able to live comfortably.

For those of you who are suffering from depression please seek the help you need.

[pedonbio]

We all have similarities and differences in the way we are made. For decades I've been in and out of treatment for various things. About 20 years ago I started on the array of anti-depressants, none of which had any result. I've grown over the years to accept moderate depression as the human condition. After all, where are we as individuals headed? Whatever we do, for good or ill, we all wind up dead. Then one of my docs decided to try good old Ritilan, which struck me as really odd, because it is normally used for disorderly children. However, it worked. I go off and on, depending on my mental state and my blood pressure, but it allows me to maintain my attitude of perversity and still do interesting things.

[gonZo]

I've had depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder more or less since puberty, so my experience is basically a mixture of pedonbio's and Druul's. I had tried various meds for years with no improvement, and had reconciled myself with feeling crappy most of the time, but when I was in my mid 40's, my anxiety disorder upgraded itself to "anxiety disorder with panic", and I started having 10 to 20 fairly severe panic attacks a day. At that point, my doctor started me on a cocktail of Prozac and Klonopin, and I've been fairly calm even since. Still somewhat depressed most of the time, but calm.
_
g

[gOOber]

The anti-depressant Wellbutrin enhances sexual pleasure for many people who take it.

[funkyboobster]

I've also struggled with depression and anxiety over the years.  Most recently, I was put on Citalopram which literally took away my orgasm.  Probably the most frightening experience of my life. I was still able to sustain an erection, but was unable to get off even when my wife resorted to "Russian" which is something she finds distasteful, but always has been my favorite.   I understand that sometimes Paxil (and other SSRIs) are used to treat premature ejaculation.  For that reason, I decided to stop taking SSRIs and self-medicate with Kava. I also smoked a fair amount of weed in the past, but the paranoia that ensued made me stop.  I still consider it my drug of choice, but have come to the decision that it's ultimately bad for me.

Pedonbio,  I find the ritalin option interesting.  I drank a lot of coffee at one time and those were some of the most productive and happy years of my life.  Stimulants have the side effect of possibly lowering weight which is something I'd find desirable. 

[Robin_K2]

I've been on a variety of medications over the years. I had a very, very bad reaction to Prozac, but I consider Zoloft to have saved my life. I've been in lots of therapy, too. Plus relaxation CDs. I'll try anything. What seems to work best for me is hard exercise, first thing in the morning. I'm sure you all know about the cocktail of natural chemicals that exercise releases.

I've been pretty good lately, but anxiety can spin me around on a dime. I can't get anything for it; all the appropriate medications are addictive, and I unfortunately have used alcohol to self-medicate pretty often in the past.

I'm pretty concerned at the moment, because yesterday was really pretty great . . . and by nightfall I didn't want to do anything. This seems to be a new sort of depression for me. I'm not sad per se, but I just don't feel like doing anything at all. I worked all weekend, so I'm taking today off. Hopefully, that's all I need.

Thanks VERY much to all of you for sharing here.

[rtpoe]

I cannot say that I've ever been clinically diagnosed with depression, but there have been a number of times when I've felt pretty low.

I'd say that my "trick", if you want to call it that, is to have something on the calendar a couple of weeks in the future where you have given your word that you will attend. An event, a party, a club meeting, whatever. Since I know that people are counting on me for something, it makes me feel useful and needed and I snap right out of my gloom.

[pedonbio]

Pedonbio,  I find the ritalin option interesting.  I drank a lot of coffee at one time and those were some of the most productive and happy years of my life.  Stimulants have the side effect of possibly lowering weight which is something I'd find desirable. 

It happened to me because the psychiatrist I was seeing had given up--I had been thru the list of anti-depressants with no effect, so he prescribed it for me just to see what would happen. Since Ritalin has a high addiction effect, I have to watch dosage closely, but it works. The coffee effect seems to be a clue, funkyboobster; at least it's a good topic to raise with the doc.

[ROUNDandHEAVY]

I have been battling it my whole life. The best thing i ever did was get involved with cognitive therapy. The book I read is here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_D._Burns

It will be of even more help in the months ahead.

B

[Zorro]

In 2008 when I was in the psych ward I was prescribed with citalopram.

It worked quite well, but a few years ago my shrink said she had to change it because of the meds I am on for other issues. Bupropion is what I take now and it really doesn't work as good as the citalopram.

If I am watching a movie with a tragedy or reading something with the same stuff I start
crying. It's damned embarrassing to tell you the truth and increasing the dosage had no effect at all. I told my shrink this, but my med was not changed.

Other than that I am feeling okay and I seldom get depressed now.

[Robin_K2]

Well, I'm back in it. Gee, it's fun. I'm sure it has something to do with my new apartment, which is in a basement and has one north-facing window, where my old one had five windows facing southwest in a second story.

Monday I'll call my former counselor and hopefully get back on meds ASAP.