[funkyboobster]

God I hope so. I hope it does not leave her too disfigured or with some nasty hair loss.  She's so beautiful.  I don't want her to change. 

[solvegas]

God I hope so. I hope it does not leave her too disfigured or with some nasty hair loss.  She's so beautiful.  I don't want her to change. 

Well, I haven't used them in a few years but I'll take out my rosary beads and pray to the saints and to God for the best outcome possible. Hair loss is depressing but the hair will come back after treatment so I wouldn't sweat that too much. Depending on the skill of the surgeon and how much of the breast is removed, you may be pleasently surprised at the outcome. There is a new robotic technique I read in Technology Now about how in so many cases the women were spared what they feared most and their breasts were reconstructed in a satisfactory manner. I'm sure she loves the fact that you find her so beautiful but life goes on and we change even if nothing bad happens. So don't despair and just cross those bridges as they come.

[funkyboobster]

Update:  Tumor was about 1cm in diameter.  Surgeon also took out 13 lymph nodes, two of which showed signs of cancer.  Surgeon also installed one of these:

http://www.breastcancer.org/pictures/treatment/chemo_port

Prognosis is still excellent, but I have a feeling it will be over a year before we have any semblance of a normal sex life.  I've not seen the scars because I know it would just freak me out. I know they get better over time so I want to be sure I don't see them too soon and get discouraged.  Been there.  One of my kids had reconstructive surgery when he was a baby and I over-reacted when I saw the results.

While I'm thrilled by the prognosis, it does not take away from the fact that I had been hoping to take my wife away for a long weekend and have some quality time.  We had been overdue for an escape for quite some time.

-Boobster

[funkyboobster]

Thought I should pass this on.  The reason her previous mammograms didn't show a tumor was that the 2D mammogram machines they have out there are useless for women who have, as the radiation oncologist put it, very large dense breasts.  The mammogram she got this time was using a new 3D imaging technique.  The oncologist as much as said that anyone bigger than DDD should always have the 3D imaging done.  When you have that much tissue, tumors can hide.  the 3D technique lets you "look around the corner" as he put it.

[rtpoe]

Go have a long weekend getaway ANYWAY. As long as it's OK with her doctor, of course. You don't need to have sex or do anything like that; just something to let her know you are still in love with her. Get her away from stress, and just be real nice to her.

(says the still-single guy.... go figure)

[funkyboobster]

I'm not sure we''ll see much action.  That Chemo Port thing really creeps her out as it does me.  Even so, I'm guessing that vigorous activity is discouraged when you have a catheter going into a major blood vessel.  I'm sure she's depressed. In her case, it comes out as grumpiness.  Sometimes she barks out orders to me.  I have to keep reminding myself it's just her condition.

I wake up at 4:30 every morning with a fucking knot in my stomach.  I can't even hug her because she says the tube in her chest creeps her out.  The doctor says she's gonna come through this just fine, but sometimes I feel like I'm gonna die.  It's a horrible thing to say, but sometimes I feel resentment.  All her friends giving her all this attention and meanwhile I feel like I've already lost my wife.  It's like I'm living with her ghost.  I can't touch her.  I've never felt so fucking alone!

I Googled around about support for husbands whose wives are going through illness and I see nothing.  I guess that's what providers are for.

I need a drink.

[solvegas]

Yes, the chemo port is creepy but it will make it so much easier to do chemo with it on. When my mother had to do the chemo eventually using the arms it overwhelmed the veins there and it would take forever to do a session. With the port it was less painful and much quicker. Ma was 77 when diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer but she was a good trooper and she wasn't happy but I guess she did not wish to make it more miserable than necessary. Please don't despair because it can be contagious. Just remind yourself that time goes by and this shall pass. You love her and, even though she is literally going through a chemical induced change, she loves you too. Thanks for sharing, it's good to get some steam out in some manner because it's not healthy to keep it all in. Vaya con Dios, compadre.

[funkyboobster]

Gracias, Amigo!

I'm trying to not let my feelings affect her.  Aside from being irritable, she's doing quite well. 

[funkyboobster]

Update:  Chemo is over.  Tried to get a little free time alone with her, but **09** care issues have arisen. 

Question for married guys over 50: 

How long do you go between?  Right now we're averaging once every two months.  I don't blame her because being sick sucks, but it's fucking killing me. 

Question for those who've been through the boob cancer thing:

Any tricks/tips for dealing with radiation therapy?

My best to you all, my Brothers in Boobs.

-Boobster

[rtpoe]

Ask the therapists what the odds are for getting superpowers?

Not that I've had to deal with The Big C, but a light attitude couldn't hurt.

[funkyboobster]

Love you too, man.

[funkyboobster]

We're done with radiation.  It's nonsense when they say it's the "easy" part of the treatment. Picture a sunburn with the worst blisters you can imagine that eventually pop and ooze. 

Next up?  They're taking her ovaries as a precautionary move.  Seems her cancer is estrogen-sensitive.  I have little hope that her libido will come through this intact. 

My life sucks.

[solvegas]

So sorry to hear about your travails.  I can only hope and pray for the best. 

[bignatslover]

We're done with radiation.  It's nonsense when they say it's the "easy" part of the treatment. Picture a sunburn with the worst blisters you can imagine that eventually pop and ooze.

YIKES.  I don't know how to turn any of that into a good thing, except one day you & she will have something to look back at together and say "Look at what we have lived through".

[funkyboobster]

Thanks for the sympathy, Gents.  Still hoping for the day I get that "You're the hottest thing in the world" look from her again.  Seems like the waiting will continue.