[Shendude]

There's a fellow by the name of Sillof who makes customized action figures; most notably he's made a number of series that cross Star Wars with various other genres. His latest, however, commissioned by Patton Oswalt, is simply bananas:

Star Wars, gender-flipped and crossed with the works of Russ Meyer.

For example, here's Luke (renamed Lucy):


And here's Darth Vader (renamed Darla Vade):


There has GOT to be a story in this, yes?

Also, it's a real shame Druul's retired, cuz methinks this would be right up his alley.

[DruulEmpire]

I still have cyber-ears that perk up, though.

Gotta love Oswalt, a true action figure enthusiast -- one halfway expects him to go visit that "Comic Book Men" show -- but I've no idea what to make of this.  I've never been a serious Star Wars fan -- I'd sooner read the Joseph Campbell source material -- and while I'm eternally grateful to the mighty Russ for sweet memories of giant billboards of Christy Hartburg which must have surely caused thousands of traffic accidents, I've no idea how the Pussycat suggestion helps.  This is Thin Plot Meets No Plot.

Perhaps there can be some voodoo doll spin on some action figure concept?  There's also nothing to stop us from simply inventing our own foxy interstellar bad-asses, our own Red Monikas.

In my crazy little Epic Lust project I've already begun to imagine VAJ, the Vanguard Army of Justice, the secret police of the mythical Pacific island country of Pelagalaxy, who I think of as "titanic-breasted Filipina-looking catsuited she-ninjas" who travel the world on weird missions, but that is years away ...

[Shendude]

I still have cyber-ears that perk up, though.

I'm on a bit of a rollercoaster right now; I go from "hey, Druul would love this" to "oh, right, he gave up posting" to "Holy Carp, there he is" to "oh, man he DOESN'T love this".

I've never been a serious Star Wars fan-- I'd sooner read the Joseph Campbell source material

Really?

-- and while I'm eternally grateful to the mighty Russ for sweet memories of giant billboards of Christy Hartburg which must have surely caused thousands of traffic accidents, I've no idea how the Pussycat suggestion helps.  This is Thin Plot Meets No Plot.

Actually, I have come up with a plot that might work, although ATM, I'm not sure I have time to expalin it all.

Will post it later.

Perhaps there can be some voodoo doll spin on some action figure concept?  There's also nothing to stop us from simply inventing our own foxy interstellar bad-asses, our own Red Monikas.

Not quite what I had in mind.

In my crazy little Epic Lust project I've already begun to imagine VAJ, the Vanguard Army of Justice, the secret police of the mythical Pacific island country of Pelagalaxy, who I think of as "titanic-breasted Filipina-looking catsuited she-ninjas" who travel the world on weird missions, but that is years away ...

I have no idea what you're talking about, and I would very much like to. Explain please?

[DruulEmpire]

I think I'll just wait for your plotline.  I may be more Meyer-enthusiast than Lucas-enthusiast.  "Really?" you ask about Star Wars.  Oh, what can I say -- I grew up reading Gilgamesh.  Then, one day, I got horny.

That bit at the end was just me thinking out loud, so you can discount it.  Just about all my porn-writing attention lately has been focused on a blog called Epic Lust.  The kudos from their readers has been marvelous.

[Shendude]

I admit, my knowledge of Mayer's work is rather limited, so this plot owes more to Lucas. So, here's my (somewhat disjointed) idea for the plot (subject to revision)...

So, it's the '70s, in a place called Gaffa County, somewhere in West Texas. Since the turn of the Century, Gaffa's biggest landowner and employer was the Republic Company, which despite it's size and influence remained a totally family owned business. It was not, however, the County's most notable institution. That honor goes to two competing brothels. One, Jade's, was a classy place, staffed by well-treated girls who were gorgeous, skilled, and loved their work. The other, Sissy's, was an industrial meat market, the girls practically enslaved by their greedy, sadistic Madame; it was, however, much cheaper. When the original Sissy died, her equally greedy and sadistic daughters took over. Eventually, the infighting between them, and between THEIR daughters ensured that they simply couldn't compete with Jade's anymore.

In the '50s, Republic was owned by one Paddy Emdale, a young, idealistic fellow who, like just about everyone in Gaffa County, was a frequent customer at Jade's. Unlike most customers, however, he fell in love with one of the girls, a talented new recruit named Annie Skye. Annie loved him back, but even in Gaffa County, societal conventions hindered their relationship. In order to facilitate their romance, Paddy and Annie relied on his secretary, Paula Patine. What neither of them knew was that Paula's grandmother had been one of the owners of Sissy's, and that Paula had secretly dedicated herself to avenging the family's downfall. She subverted Annie's loyalty, and orchestrated a series of events that forced the closure of Jade's...whereupon she opened the Empress, a brothel run along the same lines as Sissy's. When Paddy realized that his lover was responsible for this tragedy, he lost his mind, and had to be committed; with no clear heir, control over Republic ended up in the courts...which through bribery and blackmail Paula had placed under her control...

Which brings us to "today" (IE, the '70s), where Paula's Amazonian enforcer Darla Vade and her gang are cruising through a town and lay odds on the curvaceous Lucy Skye and her hunky-but-dimwitted twin brother Leo. Immediately, Darla resolves to recruit the beautiful young Lucy into her gang. When her initial offer is rebuffed, she and her shapely minions **69** Leo. In order to rescue him, Lucy and the twins' guardian Ole Betty Kentworthy recruit the all girl band the Milky Way Falcons; the quick-witted Hannah "Guitar" Solo, the towering Cibetta, and the smooth-talking Lanna Calhoun. Together they set out to rescue Leo, and succeed. Along the way, Lucy and Leo learn that Betty used to be one of the top girls at Jade's, that they are, in fact the children of Paddy Emdale and Annie Skye, and that Betty has deliberately been hiding them from Paula Patine.

In the end, Lucy and Betty head back to the farm, where Lucy begins her training in the secrets of **31**, while Leo goes on the road with the Falcons. Unfortunately, Darla Vade comes after them, released from prison by her boss' influence. Lanna cuts a deal with Paula's enforcer, which allows them to once again be captured, but after experiencing a change of heart she and Lucy manage to break out Leo and Cibetta; Hannah, however, has been turned over to Jenny Bahutt, a female nightclub owner/crime boss that Hannah had manged to piss off awhile back. Fortunately, she proves unable to stand up to Leo's manly charms, and agrees to release her captive in exchange for sex. Having established that they will never be safe from Darla so long as her boss rules Gaffa County. In the end, the twins manage to fuck them both into submission. Leo marries Hannah, and together they set out to restore the Republic company, while Lucy opens a new version of Jade's.

[DruulEmpire]

Dang.

I apologize for being lackluster earlier, but give me credit -- I did exactly the right thing, by asking you to write out your own plotline.

Once in a very great while you knock my socks off.  When I first read your kickoff to The Polygyny Chronicles, I thought, This is ambitious -- and, who knows, I may even be able to contribute adequately to it.  What you've got here (hopefully not "Lone Star Whores" -- unless you insist) is no less epic.

I know enough Star Wars to catch all the variations of name.  I started becoming suspicious round about Paula Patine, and I have to ask you -- are you any good at music?  Not even original music, but working with the established work from musicals of past decades.  My science fiction club could surely use you -- if you could concentrate on cleaner material.  This reminds me of a great little sci-fi con musical called "Grease Wars," merging -- with surprising ease -- "Star Wars" with "Grease."

So now I wonder -- does this all lead up to The Return of Jade's?  And might I dare to suggest that Lucy receives her training from the legendary Yolanda?  In fact, as Yolanda is a genuinely exotic name, she may be foreign-born and express herself oddly -- that is to say, she not to be speaking the English so good.

I would happily participate, but I'm afraid I'm useless on this precise subject matter.  I seem to be fine with lotharios, such as Adam Ziktor, but I haven't a clue as to how to advise a **33**.  However, I greatly hope that someone else here would have all kinds of advice.

Also, watching "Faster, Pussycat!  Kill!  Kill!" is just good advice generally speaking.  Best luck.    

[Shendude]

Incidentally, could someone tell me how one goes about putting pictures into Addventure posts?

Dang.

I apologize for being lackluster earlier, but give me credit -- I did exactly the right thing, by asking you to write out your own plotline.

Once in a very great while you knock my socks off.  When I first read your kickoff to The Polygyny Chronicles, I thought, This is ambitious -- and, who knows, I may even be able to contribute adequately to it.  What you've got here (hopefully not "Lone Star Whores" -- unless you insist) is no less epic.

Aww, shucks.

As to titles, I haven't gotten that far.

I know enough Star Wars to catch all the variations of name.  I started becoming suspicious round about Paula Patine, and I have to ask you -- are you any good at music?  Not even original music, but working with the established work from musicals of past decades.  My science fiction club could surely use you -- if you could concentrate on cleaner material.  This reminds me of a great little sci-fi con musical called "Grease Wars," merging -- with surprising ease -- "Star Wars" with "Grease."

'Fraid not.

So now I wonder -- does this all lead up to The Return of Jade's?

That's where I said it was going, did I not?

And might I dare to suggest that Lucy receives her training from the legendary Yolanda?  In fact, as Yolanda is a genuinely exotic name, she may be foreign-born and express herself oddly -- that is to say, she not to be speaking the English so good.

I thought about it, but given that Yoda's schtick is being a tiny wizened weirdo that no one would possibly suspect of being a Jedi Master, I'm not sure it would work; it's entirely possible for a legendary whore to have become a tiny wizened crone, but that's not really sexy.

I would happily participate, but I'm afraid I'm useless on this precise subject matter.  I seem to be fine with lotharios, such as Adam Ziktor, but I haven't a clue as to how to advise a **33**.  However, I greatly hope that someone else here would have all kinds of advice.

Honestly, I don't know either; it's one of the reasons I've never tried to expand my "Whores In Space" thread, despite the very promising first episode.

Also, watching "Faster, Pussycat!  Kill!  Kill!" is just good advice generally speaking.  Best luck.    

We'll see.

[trainman]

Incidentally, could someone tell me how one goes about putting pictures into Addventure posts?

Take the URL for the image and surround it with (img) and (/img) tags (just like that, but with square brackets instead of parentheses).

If you're using the "full" editing mode, as opposed to the "Quick Reply" box, there's an icon for "Insert Image" that will save you having to type those tags.

[Shendude]

Take the URL for the image and surround it with (img) and (/img) tags (just like that, but with square brackets instead of parentheses).

If you're using the "full" editing mode, as opposed to the "Quick Reply" box, there's an icon for "Insert Image" that will save you having to type those tags.

So, it works the same way as on on a forum?

[trainman]

So, it works the same way as on on a forum?

Hmm...this is a forum.

Or are you asking if it's the same as on other forums that use different software? Yes, I think they're all pretty much the same, with those "img" and "/img" tags.

[JH_]

Hmm...this is a forum.

Or are you asking if it's the same as on other forums that use different software? Yes, I think they're all pretty much the same, with those "img" and "/img" tags.

If you reread Shendude's original question, you'll see that it said "Incidentally, could someone tell me how one goes about putting pictures into Addventure posts?" (My emphasis.)

Never being able to remember how do do that, I used the "episodes with images" list that can be found linked from, Adama's Addventure index and links page, chose an episode from the list, and then selected my browser's "view source" option. The episode that I chose at random included this code to produce its image:

<img src="http://i46.tinypic.com/52fcyd.png" alt="some_text">

I'm not sure if the alt parameter is necessary, but it seems that it doesn't matter what text you put there. Note that there is no </img> tag required.

[Adama]

Catfish, Shendude was asking about the Addventure, not the BEA Forum.  The Addventure doesn't work that way; it only allows HTML codes, not UBB code.

Shendude, do this --

<img src="[image URL]">

in your episode.  For example,  

<img src="http://myserver.com/images/froggy.png"> (note, that is a fake image URL)


EDIT: Arrr, JH beat me to it!  

Further edit: No, the "alt" is optional; it causes certain text to appear when you mouse over the image.  It also displays that text in place of the image if the image is not available.

As JH says, as a general guideline, whenever you want to know how to do something on the Addventure in HTML, it's a good idea to find an episode that does the same thing and view the page source.

[Shendude]

Thanks JH and Adama.

So I've been thinking about this. I have a pretty good idea for the opening episode, which will definitely include a pic of Lucy, Betty, and Leo and another of Darla, Stormy, and Bonita, though I'm not sure if I should also throw in a pic of the Falcons.

However, there are some story elements I'm still working on. F'r instance, I get why Sillof only made three bad girls (cuz that's how many baddies were in Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!), but it doesn't seem right to me that the heroes outnumber the villains.

I've been thinking of three possible solutions to the issue, which I'll probably mix-and-match. The problem is I'm not sure exactly how to work them.

1. Make Stormy triplets. The issue, is that I don't want to entirely throw out Sillo'fs concept that Stormy is just the latest in a line of disposable henchwenches, all of which Darla calls Stormy.
2. Throw in a hench wench based on TIE Fighter pilots. No idea what to call her, though, or what her characterization would be.
3. Have some sort of Tarkin-type character in there. As yet, I'm drawing a blank on how.

Any suggestions, folks?

[trainman]

Catfish, Shendude was asking about the Addventure, not the BEA Forum.

Ahh...yes, thanks, Adama and JH_. Obviously, I shouldn't be on this forum (or the Addventure) so late at night.

[Shendude]

I take it then that no one can help with my secondary questions?