[Arnisboy]

The absolute worst (mainstream) movie I've ever seen has got to be the Dungeons and Dragons movie that came out, what, last year? I do remember we had the best time laughing our asses off and dissing it. Damn, was it ever a piece of crap!

[Palomine]

I'm revealing my age here, but the only movie I've ever walked out of was "In God We Trust" with Marty Feldman. And I've seen a LOT of bad movies, probably enough to cost me a year or two of my lifespan I suppose.

How was the UniBoob gal.. in the brief trailer clip, she looked a bit like Minka.

[Chuck]

A friend of mine had an excellent idea for how they could have saved Dungeons & Dragons.

At the end of the movie, the camera pulls out and it is revealed that the actors are all people playing D&D. Thus all the foolishness in the movie is ok - it's just some knucklehead D&D players.

I thought that would have been a nice touch.

-Chuckster

[Leviathan]

That wasn't so much a "great idea" as a "no brainer" in my opinion. Any idiot should have know that the basis of a D&D game is the people playing it, not the stories made by them. Damn man, didn't they watch the D&D cartoon to get that?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

It gets worse.

A few years ago, a total stinker of a movie was marketed in Italy under the name "Dungeons and Dragons", with much hype around it for a couple of months before. You can imagine a bunch of RPG players going to see it and puke on the cinema's doorsteps on the way out.

Why do I say that it gets worse? Because the title had been deviously changed in the translation from English to Italian... the movie was actually QUEST OF THE DELTA KNIGHTS!

Since they made a MST3K episode out of it I don't think I have to say more.

[Adama]

Hey, I liked "In God We Trust".  Loved the "Sieg Heil" scene...

The only movie I ever wanted to walk out of was a version of "Hercules" that starred Lou Ferrigno.

Movies so bad they're good -- isn't the all-time classic "Attack of the Killer Tomatos"?  Though that movie was bad on purpose.

[**DONOTDELETE**]

come on D&D didnt suck that bad of a movie eesh. Though I seirously think Jurasic Park 2 was terrible come on they shouldnt of even made a sequal.

[Leviathan]

Come on man, D&D totally sucked. The bad guy spent the whole movie wearing blue lipstick.

[Number6]

Another fun movie that's so intentionally bad (and gross) it's actually pretty funny is Bad Taste.  It was filmed on zero budget; everyone involved volunteered their time, effort, or props to create it.  The most interesting thing about it all is that the creator/director of Bad Taste is none other than Peter Jackson, the director of the recent "Lord of the Rings" trilogy.

Side note (to Conrad): So THAT's how the universal greeting is spelled.  Don't forget to hand out those energon goodies (hope you have enough for everyone)!

[MBunny]

hmm number6 did you get your name from the series the prisoner. d&d was ok and i will go no further down than that. Though a really sucky movie is Attack of the Killer Tomatos.

[Kanodin]

I agree, the criteria to determine if a movie really sucked would be if it was featured on MST3K...

Look, it's the constellation feces!

How about:
Jeepers Creepers?
Dead Weekend?
Zardoz?
Vampire Bat?
The Terror of Tiny Town?
I Spit On Your Grave?
Shaolin Dolemite?
Christmas Evil?
Petticoat Planet?
Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend?
Laserblast?

Any takers?

[**DONOTDELETE**]

If you're willing to skip the sketches (which is regrettable, but a necessity since none of us is Joel or Mike and that would require a minimum of real equipment) making MST montages of movies is dead easy. All you need is a dvd player or a vcr and a tuner card, everything else can be done digitally with a program like Virtualdub.

For today's stinker I propose ROBOT JOX (sic), a 1991 movie about the cold war (and even here.... hello? watch the news?) as fought in arenas with giant robots that scream stop motion from far far away. Look for the Arbiter Platform, which is visibly a repainted Captain Power toy, and see how many mecha anime toy parts you can recognize in the robots. The only good-ish thing about this movie is that the robots' mechanisms are reasonably realistic and that the Russian champion eventually wins (although victory is awarded to the Americans due to his vicious conduct).

Look for it at badmovies.org or wherever!

[**DONOTDELETE**]

i have to agree if it was featured on mst3k it had to be a bad movie.

as mike once said in an old western film yeah the sherrifs office is down the street 3rd dead body on your right. oh ok thanks. AHH! Its a dead body.

[Byz]

Kung Pow was hilarious.

You have to go into a movie like that like you would Dumb and Dumber. I loved it and laughed through the whole thing. They were making fun of all bad kung fu movies. This was an actual movie ("Savage Killers") that they bluescreened Steve Oedekirk into. They made fun of the bad editing, voice-overs, film quality, and other characteristics that most kung-fu movies (including some Bruce Lee movies) had. If you like Dumb and Dumber, MST3K, any Monty Python and have seen any bad kung-fu movies, this will make you pee your pants. If you're looking for something good, serious, or not silly at all, don't go see it.

It takes talent to skillfully make fun of something.

Hope this helps,

Byz

[midsize]

It's surprising how much disagreement there is about what makes a movie bad. Seems as though everything that someone hates, someone else likes. I guess it supports the old saying that there's no accounting for taste.

I've been reading this thread, racking my brain to think of my all-time stinkers, and I really can't come up with a list. I've seen many bad movies, but usually because I wanted to -- I expected them to be bad, and was prepared for it, so they just lived up to expectations. I guess for me, a really bad movie is one that ought to be good, but fails. Perhaps the two classic examples for my generation are "Heaven's Gate" and "Ishtar".

Let's face it, what do you really expect from "Bikini Car Wash" or "Hercules in New York"? I agree totally with those who say that bad movies are often really funny -- campy bad -- but truly bad movies are BORING. I can tolerate watching Ahnold stagger through his two words of English in "Hercules in NY", or some poor slob trying to make a movie with $500 because even though the effects are cheesy, the acting dismal, and the story weak, they're just trying so damn hard that you gotta love 'em.

I know this'll create some controversy, but my candidate for the worst movie I've seen recently is "The Mexican". It felt like it was 5 hours long -- I was almost in tears, begging for it to end. A long time ago Gregory Peck made a movie called "MacArthur" that was excruciatingly boring. It's the only movie I've ever seen that succeeded in making WWII dull! To be honest, I despise(d) the latest "Star Wars" for the same reasons: it was a transparent marketing scheme devoid of originality, many (all?) of the 'stars' mailed in their performances -- was Liam Neeson on quaaludes the whole time? -- and it even succeeded in being racially offensive. Considering its budget, cast, and director, it was really BAD.

So, I guess I can't name my all-time worst movie -- frankly, I can't even begin to remember all the movies, good or bad, I've seen -- but I can say that for me, badness is a function of potential.