I think I need to clarify, funbird.
I make a distinction between abusive behavior and sexual boorishness, and all I detected in "Bossman's" writing was boorishness.
See, I want to think of myself as the wonderfully considerate, empathic person I know you are. But once upon a time I was 19. At 19 I thought, of course, that I knew everything, having achieved "laidness". In fact I was just beginning to understand that puny thing we call male sexuality. I'm afraid that at 19 I was very much about getting it in and getting it off, and not a lot about consideration.
(Note to the very young: Later in life "get it up" becomes more of an issue. At 19, as we all know, that isn't a problem. Getting it to go down is the problem. I note that ads for various drugs mention that an erection lasting more than four hours requires medical attention. Damn, at 19 that's normal!)
When I was 19 I had a girlfriend. Several, actually, but one who was especially --er-- complaisant. Over the years I've thought about her with more than a twinge of guilt. Some years ago chance brought us together again as friends. We had several extremely candid conversations. I expressed my regrets at my lack of consideration. She was amused.
She said that at some point in her life most women go through one or more episodes of finding a "bad boy" for a relationship that involves an opportunity to study various aspects of male sexuality, and she doesn't expect considerate sexual behavior. She reminded me that women are indeed complex creatures, although, she told me, she did wish I hadn't been so hard on her gag reflex...
