[YS]

Fortunately, this is obviously a reversible condition.
 So I wouldn't worry too much about it, if I were you.

It's probably easier than losing a large amount of weight. All you have to do is not masturbate to orgasm for months( A ). Probably best do some substantial exercising at the same time, supposedly that makes the brain adapt more to circumstances.

Go out and get laid.

Even if I weren't impotent, casual sex is only for a certain kind of person.  I find it hard to lie, or to act as If I'm interested in someone when really, I'm not.

So if you want to staple-gun this label to yourself, feel free to do so. No need to drag everyone else down into your vortex of self-pity.

Devil is in the details. Not everyone is the same, and you may be an exception. Besides, you're old, as in, unlike most people who have that problem. Very likely, you learned to have sex before you learned to masturbate to internet porn nearly every day.

How am I 'dragging you down' by posting about it? Can you also post one sentence in this thread in which I expressed 'self-pity'?
I'm mostly angry at myself. I had all the information I needed to make the correct decision years ago. I never bothered to think about it deeply.

[MasterDragonfly]

How am I 'dragging you down' by posting about it? Can you also post one sentence in this thread in which I expressed 'self-pity'?

Well let's see....

I'm mostly angry at myself.

Self-pity? Oh no, that's next door. It's being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here.

Forgive me for not making a laser-sharp precision evaluation before posting. Point being, you're beating yourself up about it.

I remember when I used to hang out on IRC and I shared my particular dismay with someone I felt I could share my secret with. He said "What you need is a hot 18 year old." I burst out laughing. No, seriously, I ROFL'd. He was dead serious. I thought he was full of shit.

Then I met a 21-year old. Dang, wouldn't you know, my acquaintance was RIGHT.

I had all the information I needed to make the correct decision years ago. I never bothered to think about it deeply.

I think you're overanalyzing. It could be as simple as women who have found a fondness for using a vibrator, then get alarmed when their nether regions start feeling quite desensitized to their favorite toy. Solution: lay off the ClittyBruiser 9000 for a couple weeks.

"Everything in moderation, including moderation." - Buddha (or Oscar Wilde, depending on your source)

[gOOber]

I`m impotent. I`m very impotent. In my own mind I`m more impotent than anybody else.

[YS]

Yeah. A hot girl is part of the 'solution'. In one breath it's said she also needs to be patient and understanding.

The one with whom I found out I can't perform.. well. Very attractive to me in many ways. Not exactly my type, sexually speaking, but nevertheless the one I've thought about for years.

The scenario was always the same. I was excited and got hard from flirting and foreplay, but couldn't maintain the erection. And I was never fully erect. Even though I almost never wanked during these times. I went a week without it, and still couldn't.

I used to go out with her six years ago. Back then, she was skinny, but athletic.
Not my body type at all. Yet I remember that just lying with her in bed and kissing gave me a very painful boner. On several different occassions. We never had sex back then, she was barely out of puberty- delayed in her case. I doubt it'd have ended well, we weren't together long enough..

These days, she's much more my type. She gained some weight(30 lbs), half muscle at least, and has bigger breasts too. Her behind  though improved the most. It's probably all the training she's triathlete and the ice-cream(stress relief). Nicely rounded, but firm below the padding.

Objectively speaking, she is very good looking. As in, only 2 cup sizes of being insanely hot to me. (I don't think I can count on my future partners to be insanely hot. Especially since I'm neither rich, nor sociable or very good looking)

She wasn't pushing it, or didn't seem extremely disappointed. After all, I gave her her first orgasm in years.
I tried it sober, mildly buzzed, while not wanking, after wanking.

I really wish it were as simple as you say, but if I couldn't get it to work with a hot girl about whom I've been fantasizing for years.. and I  remember for a fact how it was different years ago.

[pedonbio]

I`m impotent. I`m very impotent. In my own mind I`m more impotent than anybody else.

Or, as George C. Scott put it in that tragically underrated film The Hospital, "Power to the impotent!"

[YS]

@Goober
Could you please get to the point, please? I smell a pun, but I'm really bad at those. Something to do with being literally minded.

[gOOber]

@Goober
Could you please get to the point, please? I smell a pun, but I'm really bad at those. Something to do with being literally minded.

I was using impotent in place of important.

[pedonbio]

YS, there are several reasons you are getting more static than you feel comfortable with. So here's why I'm not taking this stuff seriously:

1) You say there is no physical cause, but you haven't mentioned seeing a doctor. Compared to an erection, a missile launch is a simple operation. Go see a doctor. When the doc tells you there is no physical reason, go to the next step.

2) Why are you trying to convince us that you are impotent because of internet porn? I've never known a guy over 20 or so who hasn't had the occasional sleepy cock. Look, the little head works hard. sometimes he won't do what the big head wants. That's okay.

3) The quickest way to become permanently impotent is by obssessing about becoming impotent. 

[TheZookie007]

^^^ what he said ^^^

[YS]

I haven't even had the flu in this millenium. I completed a half-marathon under 90 minutes. <7 minute mile.
Also have  a resting pulse of 50(60 is ordinary, that's a sign of athleticism, top cyclists sometimes have 30).
Impotence is associated with lack of exercise, age, health problems. I could see a doctor, though. It doesn't even cost a lot of money here, except it'll take time.

2) Why are you trying to convince us that you are impotent because of internet porn? I've never known a guy over 20 or so who hasn't had the occasional sleepy cock. Look, the little head works hard. sometimes he won't do what the big head wants. That's okay.

I don't think the 'internet' has that large a role in it. During periods of time where I couldn't get the internet, I sometimes wrote erotic stories for my own consumption and maintained similar habits. The internet is at 'fault' simply because it allows easy an convenient access  to pornography.  I imagine some people had similar problems in the past, but less of them. It's hard to masturbate too often if you don't have a ready source of stimulation.

Basically
A)
1) I've been using wanking as stress relief for.. 12 years?
2) I've stopped having morning wood several years ago. I remember having it while I was still studying in the capital four years back. In fact, I remember almost always having it.
3) Even though I was confident, looking forward for the sex, in good mood at the time... it didn't work. I'm not sure how many times we tried, but at least six. There was no pressure on her side, little teasing. It didn't work even after I abstained from wanking for a more than a week.

B) a large number of young men claim they
( see these results: http://www.google.com/search?sugexp=chrome,mod=17&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=rebooting+porn )
1) been using porn for years, frequently
2) often don't have morning wood
3) gradually became impotent- they had sex in their teens but developed ED during their twenties, or found out they were impotent. Viagra reportedly doesn't work, long-time.
4) report that impotence disappears after a complete stop in regular porn use and masturbation


Note that lack of morning wood (or more precisely, nocturnal spontaneous erections, some men wake up during them often. ) is assumed to be caused solely by physiological impotence. Which is definitely NOT my problem.  I remember that a frequent problem for me used to be to avoid showing I have an erection while getting from the bed to the toilet. So, while some men almost never have morning erections,  I used to have them and then they stopped.

C)
Brain is plastic, this is known.
Over time, parts that are not used disappear. Before my recent attempts at sex, or whatever you call it, I've never tried sex. Personal reasons. Mainly I used to be shy, or too preoccupied with school/escapism. Then there is also the whole issue of dating. 95% of women are not attractive to me simply because they are either stupid, which means there is nothing to talk to them about, and I don't feel comfortable with the idea of having sex with good-looking strangers because of my paranoid tendencies.

So, if for years,  one has  'sex' that doesn't involve actual copulation, but gives of nearly the same biochemical rewards, it's very likely that the parts of the brain that make it possible are not there. And my frequency of masturbation was quite high, I found school stressful due to my procrastination problem. I'd say ~2.0 daily at least..

Also, there is some evidence that too many orgasms causes a "not give a shit attitude". Which makes sense from an evolutionary point,  I mean, it basically means that the male has found a really great spot and is doing what he is 'programmed' to do.

^^simplified. Masturbation is not that common among mammals, and without either a very vivid imagination or porn, masturbating isn't that much fun nor probably possible. So it was not selected against during evolution, and that is why it may 'fool' the brain wiring.

[mcgarp]

I'm going with a head issue.  I say this because I have had the same problem and it's extremely hard to get over.  Still not convinced I have, I just narrowed it down.  In the past I have been DTF but then the condom came out.  My first girlfriend alway, and I mean always put the condom for me. Never had an issue.  My second sexual partner didn't.  Problem.  Same with the third.  I'd like to go on but that is the extent of my sexual partner.  It's came to a point where needing a condom means no sex.  I know it's all in my head, but that makes it worse.  No way to rectify the situation.

[MasterDragonfly]

"a large number of young men...".

Well no shit. I remember when I first got my hands on some porn. Basically a picture of a nude woman, tastefully posed. Raging hormones, a pic is worth a thousand words (and a thousand words is better than 10 words, etc).

Most young men (in our culture, not constrained by religious guilt, etc) are likely to do the same.

And your claim that masturbation might be uncommon among mammals is interesting, but that's like saying the vast majority of the earth is molten. Make the context more sensible, please. Start talking about 'humans' and not casting such a wide net. Talk to any sex therapist and you'll hear that masturbation is perfectly natural.

Yes, I'm increasingly convinced that you yourself have a problem. I'm growing increasingly baffled as to why you're trying to cast such a wide net, though. If you're having problems and want to share, great. Tell us all about your physician visit or your psychologist visit or your endocrinologist visit or your oncologist visit or your urologist visit or your trip through the MRI or the battery of unpleasant needles you've had stuck into you and how unhappy that's all making you. Great, we'll provide words of support as you go through it all.

But don't go parading around like this is an epidemic which is causing society to teeter on the brink of sending everyone back to the stone ages. (Yes, this his hyperbole, but you're paving a slippery slope which I'm not buying into.)

My point in a nutshell: stop talking and start DOING.

If you do nothing, then evidently even you yourself feel it's not worth doing anything about.

[mcgarp]

Not that it's probably necessary but after rereading my last post I should mention that if my partner has been on birth control and no condom needed, I'm still perfectly in the game.  Just thought I should clarify that.  Things do still work down there so point any STD free big boob gal my way, I'll pay for the birth control!

[MasterDragonfly]

Heh, I had to Google 'DTF'.

[YS]

But don't go parading around like this is an epidemic which is causing society to teeter on the brink of sending everyone back to the stone ages. (Yes, this his hyperbole, but you're paving a slippery slope which I'm not buying into.)
My point in a nutshell: stop talking and start DOING.

If it becomes common, at worst it will just make a some* (no idea how many .. ) of males waste a couple of years and cause some exasperation in their girlfriends. And some unhappy marriages where one party is in denial.
Japan, where 30% of marriages are sexless (no sex in a year)  has some additional cultural reasons.

There is no slippery slope. There is, however, an information deficit, I'd say.

DOING. <<easy to write
Yeah. I imagine I have to eventually put what I've planned into motion. I'm ambivalent about everything. Ever since I got back from visiting my friend in the US..everything seems equally pointless and annoying. I'm likely depressed.
The only things I can do are those that are habitual, and even then, they bring me little enjoyment.

Talk to any sex therapist and you'll hear that masturbation is perfectly natural.

Involuntary sexual intercourse is 'natural' too. In that it's independent of culture... you can't find any human culture that doesn't have it.

Or **94** booze. At least for Europeans, we have the genes to break it down because our ancestors have been **94** beer for thousands of years. Would you support free distribution of booze to everyone who can read?  Assuming it cost nothing.

After all, it's natural, and in moderation perfectly okay.
But no one pretends it's 'completely harmless' because they themselves don't have a problem with it. Some people can and do get addicted. No (sane) one is considering banning it either.

No one told me masturbation(specific types of) is addictive, or that it may cause eventual impotence. While I may be wrong, there's the neurological explanation, there is the number of people who self-report such problems(which of course doesn't give you the total extent of the problem), and then there is my personal experience.

Do you completely and  reject that, and think it's just 'performance anxiety' ?

One 'primary' report.
http://www.middleburycampus.com/node/15826

Since I doubt that school is special in that students there are especially into pornography.. it indicates that there is a problem.

The last three years have witnessed an upsurge in the number of male students reporting erectile dysfunction and other sex-related problems at Parton Health Center, according to Director and College Physician Dr. Mark Peluso.
 
“They can’t get an erection or maintain an erection with a female partner,” Peluso said. “They think they need Viagra.”
 
In a typical office visit, Peluso will ask his patient a series of questions: Are you attracted to your partner*? Are you intimate? Do you have a sexually inhibiting medical condition? Are you using substances, such as alcohol, that impair sexual performance? Do you feel attracted to other men? According to Peluso, the answer to all of these questions is usually “no.”
 
However, “in the majority of cases, the patients were habitual viewers of pornography, and had no difficulty with sexual performance when they were by themselves,” Peluso said.