[onion_writer]

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[Ladon]

I've known the feeling.  Wish I had some advice, but we're in about the same boat, though wife's got a regular check that pays the rent.

[Palomine]

OW, I'm sure you'll get some sympathetic comments... most folks have gone through what you seem to be experiencing at some point in their lives, so they can probably empathize. However, I'd just like to point out that asking for such help anonymously/online carries some risk... the net is filled with all kinds of people and some might think nothing of using your request as an opportunity for their own amusement.

With that caution offered, all I can say at the moment is that in my experience, no matter how bad things seem at any given moment, they're usually better a day/week/month later. At least that's what I've always told myself, and it generally holds true.

[DruulEmpire]

Dude, hang on.  I've been clinically depressed pretty much my whole life, but in the long run I discover that there's generally something or someone there for you.  Think of those things or persons which best recharge your batteries -- and there's no shame in any of those being entertainments or fictions, if it's a book or movie or character that inspires you, that's cool too.  (By the way, I'm STILL intrigued by that interview book idea of yours, the one I think of as "Bigtime.")  Even a mirage is a clue to an ocean.  Keep the faith, whatever that may be.