My fellow admirers, I write after a long interlude, and rereading your contributions, smile at the memory of your compassion, thoughtfulness and good advice. Please forgive my tardy reply. The vicissitudes of life and my reluctance to revisit this sad episode in detail contributed to my hibernation for a while.
Let us return now to where we left off.
I did learn that my girlfriend’s attempts to cover her ample breasts were not so much because she was ashamed or embarrassed by them but reflected her rather conservative upbringing. Not so unusual story -- country girl raised on a farm, devoted churchgoing mother and older sisters. You’ll recall my unsuccessful efforts to get her to agree to one last photo shoot in a bathing suit. I mentioned my dismay at her remark, “I don’t like the way I look in a bathing suit.” I (reasonably) interpreted that to mean, “I don’t like how my big boobs look in a bathing suit, but she insisted no, it’s her conservative background and accordingly she’s uncomfortable with so much flesh showing, regardless of the size of her boobs.
So as I mentioned previously we had a wonderful overseas trip in December and then a short trip to AZ in February, which turned out to be her “last hurrah” (so to speak) as a 36N-sized bra wearer. (Actually her 36N bras were rather snug, so she probably needed an “O” cup, but as you know N is the end of the alphabet -- so far -- for non-custom made bras.)
Ultimately my gf was **86** to postpone the surgery despite my oft-stated belief that she had not exhausted non-surgical options and my fear of complications and the risks involved. There was a brief moment of hope during a candid conversation we had over dinner three nights before the scheduled surgery; I ran down the list of experts she had seen and not seen. She asked about the differences between a physiatrist and orthopedist and others and conceded that maybe there were more experts she could see, but she truly believed the plastic surgeon that told her the reduction in breast weight would relieve her pain. And what if he was wrong, I asked? Well, she said she’d try other options then!
The day before the surgery she asked me to take “before” pictures of her (to my surprise, considering the aforementioned “conservative" outlook) and I took some again in the hospital on the day of the surgery, along with the surgeon. (Believe me she looked magnificent, as fine as any model we worship here.) The surgery lasted about 3 hours and “went well,” the doc told me afterward while she was in recovery, and reassured me “they’re still big, as you like them.” He told me he removed about 1200 cc’s (that’s 2.5 pounds) from each breast.
In the days and weeks that followed I was chief pain medication dispenser, drainage changer (a drain dangled from the bottom of each breast and I had to place a plastic cup, measure and drain fluids twice a day for about ten days), cook and overall nursemaid.
It’s now four months later and I must report some odd comments (all hers). First one just days before the surgery (right after we met with the doc): “Your inability to accept want I want to do with my body is . . . really troubling.” Next about a month after the surgery: “Frankly,” she said, “I was surprised how good and attentive you were (I was great, actually) considering how much you were against the surgery.” Geez, did she really expect me to abandon her because she had the surgery? (I dunno; perhaps another, shallower fella would have. Love indeed makes fools of us all.) I said to her, "Wouldn't you do the same for me?" Her reply, "I hope so." Hmm.
About a month ago: “Do you know how much I miss having large breasts? Not. At. All.” (Emphasis not added.) Why? “They were a burden.” “Even before you started having pain (2.5 years prior to the surgery)? “Yes.” No further elaboration. And here’s a recent gem: “If I weren’t such a strong-willed person, I’d never have gone for a breast reduction because of you.” Regarding scarring. “I don’t really care about scarring, so that’s why I’m not using any anti-scarring cream.”
Here’s an interesting topic. Any breast play in bed? Nope. Her boobs are off limits. Can’t even touch ‘em. “You had them for 9 years; that’s enough.” (We started dating 9 years ago.) What?! I offered, well, it’s only been a few months and you’re still recovering. Are you saying they’re off limits indefinitely? “We’ll see.” Geez.
By the way, the doc took extra care to make sure the nipples remained intact. (I insisted; frankly, I think my gf was indifferent about the possible loss of nipple sensation.) She now has sensitivity in only one of them, she says. But she said the doc told her his wife, who also had BR surgery (presumably he did not do it) had no nipple sensation for two years. And last but not least, “I can’t imagine you sucking on them like you used to.” (I was quite energetic in my efforts, and apparently it was not often a turn-on for her; she once said it reminded her of breast-feeding her children. However I do recall on occasion her being on top of me and when I’d not paid attention to her “girls,” she’d shove one in my mouth.)
Finally, a word about the reduced appearance. They look . . . unfamiliar. They’re on the small side (too small, in my opinion, not that that counts . . .) and seem rather “perky.” She’s not bought any new bras (except one size “Large” exercise bra) and instead wears her old 36G and 36H bras. (So I guess that’s her new size but somehow they seem smaller than G cups to me.) Ironically, one of the comments that she really fumed about was my suggestion to the doc that he try to make her something in the ballpark of a 36G as that seemed to be her size for a long while before she developed back pain in the fall of 2010. “Will you please let the doctor decide? That’s what I want.” Incidentally all her old (well, relatively recently acquired 38M and 36N) bras went into a large plastic bag in the back of her closet.
She does have something called “dog ears” along her incision lines. (This is a “characteristic puckering of the skin that can occur after surgical wound closure . . . In body contouring where large amounts of tissue are excised, they are not rare.”) My gf figures he was concentrating on saving the nipples and also probably had another, "greener" doc do the closing. He told her to come back in the Fall and he’ll fix them under local anesthesia.
And that’s about it. Sorry I’ve written a book but I guess I had a lot to get off my chest (pardon the pun). Thanks for listening. Oh – for those that are wondering – my girlfriend reports no back pain now.