Actually, there is no pumping involved. The male's sperm laden pedipalpae are thrust into the female (from the front) whereupon they break off in fevered attempt to flee for its life. No sexual organs are harmed, but yes there is a chance the male can be devoured. (Actually, a spider's venom liquefies the victim's innards, thus enabling the captor to "drink" the nutrient rich viscera.) The mating ritual itself is quite an elaborate dance for the male, as he has to negotiate the female's web (*species dependent) in order to approach her. One thing is true for all species of spiders, the female is larger than its male counterpart. Hunting spiders, which rely on their keen eyesight, vary less in size between the sexes than do their nearsighted webspinning cousins. For instance, the female Pholcus Phangoloidsis a whopping ten times larger than the male, while the Zebra Jumping Spider (common name) is only four times larger, and less still is the difference in sexes of any of the tarantula family.