[JustMeMike]

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: Two times a week,we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship.She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

We also **82** in separate beds.
Hers is in the country house and mine is in the city apartment.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric breadmaker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" ....I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives? 'Cause they want to.

Thanks to Henny Youngman and Rodney Dangerfield...

This is JustMeMike  

[ThisIsNotMyName]

My wife likes to talk during sex. Last night she called me from a motel.

She says she wants to have sex in the back of a car. She told me I could drive.

No respect... no respect at all.
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[ October 24, 2001: Message edited by: Trans... er... um... TrainSpotter ]

[BillN]

50% of all marriages end in divorce.  Which isn't bad considering that the other 50% end in death.  

[Palomine]

Bumping because this is worth seeing if you're in the mood for a chuckle and also moving it over to OTF, where it more rightly belongs.