RULES FOR MEN
Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. It's also the Maximum.
Complaining about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is forbidden. Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional.
When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
It is permissible to quaff a fruity chic drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.
Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Case closed.
If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see nothin'.
You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
Never talk to a man in a toilet unless you are on equal footing: both pissing, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
You cannot rat on a co-worker who shows up at work with a massive hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is broken, and have him paged over the loudspeaker every seven minutes.
Always split aces and eights. No arguments!
Finally, never, EVER agree with your wife or your girl friend if she ever says "Honey, Do you think my breasts are too big?"
This is JustMeMike 
[ August 23, 2001: Message edited by: JustMeMike ]