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MunchWolf

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There's a lump on my testicle
« on: February 01, 2007, 06:10:59 PM »
From the author who brought you such thrilling posts like They're gonna stick a camera up my ASS and So I had a mammogram comes a new thrilling saga:  There's a lump on my testicle

Starring MUNCHWOLF as the patient, and Samuel L Jackson as the Doctor



Ermm .... yeah ...

So, monday ... as I was repositioning myself for bed (and no that is not a euphamism for masturbation .. I did that earlier in the evening), I noticed something odd ... and hard ... where something odd and hard shouldn't be ...

So I poked some more ... and yup ... it was odd and hard ... almost you could say .. a lump ...

Anyway, it was late, so I went to bed.  Tuesday, I checked again .. and yes ... there was still a lump ... so I decided I needed to take action

Wednesday I called my Doc, and said, hey ... I'ld like to come in for an appointment, there's a lump on my testicle ... well, actually I didn't get to talk to my doc, since he was out of town, or something ... probably still scarred from sticking stuff up my ass ... but I did get to set an appointment with another doc today ...

Now usually (not that this usually happens to me) .. if some man I've never met before says drop your pants and let me grab your balls, he better have a gun ... but considering I was there to drop my pants and such, and did so ... and he .. um ... well .. I've never had a man stare so intently at my nutsack before .... and gosh darn it ... he couldn't find it (not my balls .. the lump) ... so I had to reach down their and guide him to the lump ... and lo ... he found a lump ... and he said ... "You have a lump"

I kind of already knew that ... but I guess validation from a professional can be nice ...

He then said it was probably Calcified Appendix Tip .... which sounds like something you would order in a Calfornia restaurant ... but he was going to arrange a ultrasound or x-ray or somesuch for tuesday anyway.

Now I'm thinking ... the appendix is the most useless organ in the human body ... it serves no purpose ... and besides exploding on a few people, killing them, it now drops calcified bits of itself into the scotum just for fun?  How can one rightly justify that God made man in his image, when he adds this practical joker of an organ into the equation?

Anyway .... I'll know more Tuesday ...

-Munch "I'll take, 'What do you call someone who wears wool sweaters to attract Lymantria dispar' for $100 Alex" Wolf  
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Shara

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2007, 06:17:29 PM »
*crosses fingers it's not something malign lumpwolf
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LurkingWolfen

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2007, 09:11:15 PM »
Quote:

He then said it was probably Calcified Appendix Tip ....

AHA!

I hope he really meant calcified  Appendix testis.

If he really meant your appendix, I recommend a second opinion

As for the Appendix, if we were 'perfect' it would do whatever it's supposed to.
Since we're not 'perfect', it just sits there quietly ticking away...


I hope all goes well with the scrotal ultrasound.



Lurking "Zehn, neun, acht, sieben..." Wolfen
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robclassact

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2007, 09:54:42 PM »
Quote:

I hope all goes well with the scrotal ultrasound.



I actually just had one of those while investigating some recent testicular pain, but it turned out to be epididimitis (basically, a non-STD related testicular infection).  I had a nice chat with the nurse while she went to town with the ultrasound scanner on my genitals.  A pretty surreal experience.

I hope all goes well for you munch.
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MunchWolf

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2007, 10:11:52 PM »
Quote:


I hope he really meant calcified  Appendix testis.
 



eh .. shrug .. maybe ... I was too distracted by him grabbing my balls

-Munch "hey, it has been over a year since anyone but me has been there ... so any attention is .. OMG ... look Elvis" Wolf
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herringbone

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2007, 02:42:06 AM »
It's probably just Chuck's... I mean Munch's... body trying to grow a third testicle in a Darwinesque attempt to keep up with his manliness.

That or he was masturbating once while eating sunflower seeds and ingested one on the upstroke.

Whatever it is, Munch, I hope it turns out to be far less exciting than the fact that you had your marble bag manhandled by a perfect stranger who may or may not have actually been a doctor.  (Fumbled around a while and couldn't even find a lump on his own?  Eh, it COULD have been a highly trained medical professional... don't worry about it.)

herring "pretty please someone tell me I'm not the only one who can actually imagine Munch eating sunflower seeds while masturbating" bone
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MunchWolf

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #6 on: February 02, 2007, 07:34:38 AM »
Quote:


Whatever it is, Munch, I hope it turns out to be far less exciting than the fact that you had your marble bag manhandled by a perfect stranger who may or may not have actually been a doctor.  (Fumbled around a while and couldn't even find a lump on his own?  Eh, it COULD have been a highly trained medical professional... don't worry about it.)



The odd part was when he had me demostrate on him where exactly the lump should be

Quote:

herring "pretty please someone tell me I'm not the only one who can actually imagine Munch eating sunflower seeds while masturbating" bone



I'm more of a cashew kind of guy

-Munch "you imagine me masturbating?????  Am I wearing the hat?" Wolf
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robclassact

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #7 on: February 02, 2007, 07:40:04 AM »
Quote:

 The odd part was when he had me demostrate on him where exactly the lump should be.



Wait, that's not how they measure you for pants!
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herringbone

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #8 on: February 02, 2007, 08:10:12 AM »
Quote:

-Munch "you imagine me masturbating?????  Am I wearing the hat?" Wolf


::: Fighting the urge to say "No, I imagine you wearing the hat while I'M masturbating" :::
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diamondgeezer

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2007, 11:51:12 AM »
Sorry to hear the news. Your nutsack will be in my thoughts, Munch.


No, wait, not like that... oh God...
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Palomine

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #10 on: February 02, 2007, 04:04:14 PM »
 Love the photo of you and Dr. Jackson Munch. Hope tests come back ok.  
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homevintner

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #11 on: February 02, 2007, 07:18:00 PM »
Best of luck with the scan Munch.
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KBTs

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #12 on: February 03, 2007, 02:01:21 AM »
Not trying to one-up you , but I have two (testicles with lumps).  While hopefully avoiding TMI, both have occasionally been labeled a type of hydrocele with no dire consequences (the lumps anyway).

May your fortune be equally favored (to not have two lumps).
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prinz

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #13 on: February 03, 2007, 07:52:54 PM »
Quote:

Not trying to one-up you , but I have two (testicles with lumps).  While hopefully avoiding TMI, both have occasionally been labeled a type of hydrocele with no dire consequences (the lumps anyway).
May your fortune be equally favored (to not have two lumps).

 I have one also and it was nothing to worry about..   hope all goes well there you lumpy nutted,mad hatted, affectionato of biggins..
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solvegas

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Re: There's a lump on my testicle
« Reply #14 on: February 03, 2007, 08:30:40 PM »
Hope it's nothing. The lump you should worry about is the one between your shoulders. It's gross. Uh...sorry. That's your face.   Just kidding. But seriously, at least you took the time to self-examine and to consult a Doctor about it. Too many ignore a problem till its too late. Very likely it's nothing to worry about. Best of luck.
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