[onion_writer]

I am again undergoing a rather severe nervous breakdown. I leave in an hour to stay with family. I need kind words.

[DruulEmpire]

Guy, hang on.  I for one could use you around -- as collaborator, as someone to commiserate with, maybe even simply discuss Marcus J. Borg with.  And there's always an end to T-day, it's just a matter of getting through to it.  Seems like you've only recently appeared on my radar screen -- by all means, stay on it.  Best luck and wishes to you. 

[bignatslover]

Hey, I feel for ya.  I believe you are strong enough to get through this.

Now unfortunately people will throw at you some motivational sayings that probably won't help you.  Unless of course what they say so fortuitously speaks directly to your inner pain.

I have had some mini-meltdowns of my own this year, and I hate the fact that I am 41 and just can't seem to get it all together.

The other thing that sucks is how our bodies seem to manifest physical problems when we harbor stress internally.

The only good thing is that this MAY (albeit maybe not) be quickly reversible.  I am glad you are trying a change of scenery.  It might be the quickest way to achieve positive change.  That's why Neil Peart wrote Fly By Night, you know.

[onion_writer]

Thanks. A lot of tranquilizers last night but I feel more human today. Still wobbly, though. I'm coming off a weeklong **94** binge. I do not recommend the experience!

[pedonbio]

Take it easy. That sounds more glib than I mean it. Moving fast is not your friend. Just practice moving slowly. We need you around here; there aren't enough out-of-the-closet boob enthusiasts.

[BarnacleBill]

there aren't enough out-of-the-closet boob enthusiasts.

Amen, to that, sir.

Hang in there OW. 

I think i might've been at a horrible place in my life where you are now.  For several weeks, I felt trapped, like I was sinking, or suffocating.  I didn't want to eat.  I couldn't **82**, unless I drank 6-7 shots of whiskey.  I literally had so much stress, that the muscles on the back of my neck, head and upper back, were throbbing and tense 24-7.  My only emotions were fear, anger, guilt and depression.

I felt that I had reached the end of the line, and every day was bringing me one day closer to total mental meltdown.  I felt like every day was a drop in the proverbial "bucket" of my sanity, but the "bucket" was about to burst at any second.

All I can say is:  Time heals.  My technique may not work for you, if it doesn't, then ignore this.  But what worked for me somewhat was thinking of "worst case scenarios", and then slowly coming to grips with the 'worst possible' scenarios of where my life might be in the next 12 months, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, etc. etc.  It may not work for you, but it helped me somewhat.  I realized that even at worst case scenario, I'd still be alive, I'd still be a part of the world, I'd still have my sanity, sense of humor, friends, family, opinions on music, movies, art, history, my own personal history and philosophy, etc. etc.  My $.02.  Hope it helps.