[Robin_K2]

An 80-year-old relative is undergoing this procedure Wednesday. I've taken two weeks off to help out during the recovery. I suspect I'll need to spend more time than that.

I've read up on recovery on-line, but it's mostly for patients, not family member/care-givers. I'd welcome any advice about what to expect and what to do during recovery. For example, what should I cook, and should I be harsh in enforcing recommended post-surgery physical activity?

Any advice will be sincerely welcome.

[tdotter]

My dad had major surgery in June.He's 71.The surgeon said he would probably spend 3 days in ICU.Well,he spent 3 weeks in ICU.It always takes older patients longer to recover.Whatever timeline the surgeons tell you it will take for recovery,I assure you it will probably be longer because of his age.
I know this is simple advice but it's true.My dad never truly started getting better until he started **83**.For about a week or so,he would get maybe an hour or 2 a day of **82**.It was a pain in the ass trying to get him to **82**.
I'm not familiar with the surgery your relative is getting but one of the things the doctors wanted my dad to do was get his bowels going.My dad did not crap for over a week after his surgery.
Also,this is important.My dad got pneumonia a week after surgery.I always thought it was only in the 2 or 3 days after surgery that you could it and that is not true.Needless to say,the family was worried when we found out.They gave him antibiotics and he recovered.
Also,it is common for older patients to lose their sense of taste father and he still doesn't have his taste back and it's tough getting him to eat.Keep that in mind.
My advice is helping someone recover is just like looking after a ***.
I hope this helps and good luck to your relative.

[Robin_K2]

I appreciate this very much!

[tdotter]

I had to edit a word out of my prior post and I ended up erasing a couple of other words that I didn't intend to,but screw it.
Let us know how everything goes and if any problems come up with your relative,I'll gladly help out with any advice if I can.

[pedonbio]

I would suggest a couple of things. First, in case you haven't, go with him to an appointment with his doctor. There are many things that affect recovery time. For example, does he have Type 2 diabetes? That would double healing time. Second, how much exercise can he stand? The more activity, the shorter the healing time; on the other hand, you don't want him to blow out a valve.

Second, I double the **82** comment from tdotter. Older people **82** less and less, but the more **82**, the faster the healing.

Also, not so pleasant but important: Are you the person who would make health care decisions if he couldn't? My Dad and I had that talk several times and I had a list by the the time I needed to make decisions: Hydration, yes; dialysis, no. That sort of thing.

[Robin_K2]

This is all very sincerely appreciated. It's my mom's husband. He's 80 and previously has been diagnosed with borderline diabetes -- I don't know what type. He and my mom both signed medical powers of attorney this last week. He is not in good shape and did not follow advice for exercise after he had five stents placed last year. He has, however, lost a fair amount of weight.

I think my mom is pretty much in denial, and her outlook is overly optimistic. I'm going to have to take care of her as much as him; to add to the problems, she's pretty much unsafe to drive on highways, and the hospital is an hour from their rural home.

Thanks for listening, and thanks more for the advice. Surgery is Wednesday.

[pedonbio]

Sounds problematic with Mom.

I'm sure it's Type 2. Type 1 is the early-onset variety that usually requires insulin injections. Very few people with Type 1 live to be 80.

[Robin_K2]

Progress is slow. Surgery was Wednesday, and all seemed to go well -- new bovine valve -- and his breathing tube was removed the next day.

At first he couldn't get enough pain killers fast enough, then yesterday he refused all of them. (But he's still getting them, in his IV.)

It was soon observed that he had a great deal of fluid in his lungs, and some around his heart, which appeared enlarged. They may have to go back in. His breathing is very shallow, and his blood is poorly oxygenated. Very rapid pulse the night before last. Throat tube back in yesterday, and being treated with antibiotics in case it's pneumonia.

So that's the report. His surgeon says he'll recover, but it will take longer. He'll be in ICU at least through tomorrow, for a total of five days. From what I've read on various medical websites, all of the above is not uncommon. If anyone has other observations?