[gonZo]

If I were creating a new user-ID today, I would be "Cardinal Deadlock". 

[salem]

^That would be a good username.

My favourite Pope was John Paul II, he was a goalkeeper when he was younger and he was Polish. I have Polish descent so find that nice.

I was wondering if any crushing story will soon emerge about the resigning Pope? Since the job of Pope is normally one that is for life once you have it.

[gOOber]

The Roman Catholic College of Cardinals has announced that the first ballot will ask Cardinals to list their top three choices for Supreme Pontiff. When those persons have been identified, the first ever papal debate will be held on the campus of the University of Mississippi at Oxford. CNN will provide the moderator, and all odds are on Wolf Blitzer. The Vatican announced they were happy with Mr. Blitzer as he has neither theological or journalistic leanings.

 A cross country bus tour will follow with more town hall styled meetings.

 In related news, it is reported that Glenn Beck is inconsolable.

[rtpoe]

^That would be a good username.

My favourite Pope was John Paul II, he was a goalkeeper when he was younger and he was Polish. I have Polish descent so find that nice.

I was wondering if any crushing story will soon emerge about the resigning Pope? Since the job of Pope is normally one that is for life once you have it.

The stories, I gather, have been that his health has been worsening. A new battery for his pacemaker. A few injuries which for us would not be a problem, but for an 85 year old man... I'm going to take his reasons at face value and figure that he abdicated simply because he realized that probably the last thing the Catholic Church needs is a Pope who's vegetating in an intensive care unit somewhere for years and years and years....

Let's hope that the Cardinals get a hint and choose someone young (relatively speaking, of course), in good health, and who actually lives in the 21st century. But when you consider that John Paul II was a radical choice simply because he wasn't Italian....

[gOOber]

My candidate.

[pedonbio]

Shouldn't she be morphed a bit?

(link replaced with attachment)

[TheZookie007]

This week, Saturday Night Live was hosted by Christoph Waltz, and he of course made fun of the (soon-to-be-leaving) Pope. Quite funny.

[Zealot]

Allow priests to get married. Pretty much let American nuns run everything over here -- or as much as they want. Bring in an outside accountant for an audit of all Papal properties and dollars. Sell the art to museums, sell all church property, instead meet in people's homes or community centers (like the first Christians) take the money and do real work with and for the poor, including birth control.

In my first Papal appearance I'd announce that God just phoned to say that life does not begin with conception, and not even for many months afterward, that a zygote is not a human being, and that from now on deeds are more important than dogma or last minute repentance.

I'd also make clear that Jesus was a teacher, and a pretty darn good one, but likely just a teacher, and that he's a little steamed that we think that belief is better than being nice to each other, that he did not "save us" by "dying for our sins," which anyway are still not forgiven, so let's get to work, people, and make "on earth as it is in heaven" a plan for immediate action, not just words.

Then I'd send formal apologies to Islam, the orthodox churches, all Jews, and everyone else we've hurt. I'd turn over all cleric molesters to authorities, excommunicate them and have my bishops stalk them forever.

I'd finish my first day by forwarding an e-mail from God, saying that he/she/it loves all LGBTs. And close by asking the U.S. to get the hell out of the middle east and find something other than oil for American foreign policy to obsess about.

Then, on my second day...

I'd keep the oath of poverty and chastity going for priests and nuns,but they'd all have to go through a Shaolin-monk-level of training to qualify.Self-control is a very tough undertaking,and anyone who wants to go through it had best know how to quell their carnal desires.Women would be allowed as priestesses and Bishops,and LGBTs would have the same rights as well.

[G_I_John]

I'm probably the only one who wants to see the new pope decided with some kind of battle royal considering there's so many candidates. I just want ol' Mr Buffer doing a dramatic introduction...

'Ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment, a battle to crown the undisputed holiest catholic IN THE WORRRRLD... so, are, you, rrrrready... now let's get ready to RUMBLLLLE'

Forgive me if I have sinned -w-

[solvegas]

Raised as a Catholic ( even though I haven't gone to Church, with the exception of funerals, in 40+ years now ) I'm glad he decided to quit before he became infirm and unable to lead his flock. Perhaps the next pope will be from the region where catholicism is actually growing, Africa or east asia. The church has actually tried to modernize for years now and all that has done is to alienate believers. Especially in Latin America, the Church has lost a lot of its people to north american pentecostal churches which seem to be able to fill a void in their lives. Those who say the church should " get with it and join the 21st century " could be mistaken. The Episcopilians have done that and their church is quickly dying off. Hell, some episcopilian priests were questioning the existance of God and Jesus. That is not the way for survival. Anyways, he did the right thing because of his poor health.

[pedonbio]

 

[Hark]

Pedon, I'm laughing hard at that!   

[TheZookie007]

Suddenly it all comes clear...

[pedonbio]

"The Sarah Palin of Popes!"

[gOOber]

His new career.