[rtpoe]

(I need a new thread...)

It was a good plan for as long as it was working. You’d managed to sneak into the sprawling underground lair disguised as a member of an exotic dance troupe hired to entertain the madman’s private army. The dance number was opulent, and you managed to maneuver yourself close to your target while still maintaining the beat on your tabla. But then his right hand man remembered you from a grainy photo handed over by a traitor somewhere in the ranks of Interpol. Suddenly you find yourself tied down in front of the villain in his egg-shaped plastic chair. He’s going to kill you. An alligator pit perhaps, or some sort of slow moving laser so he can savor your demise. But first, he will do two things: explain his entire nefarious scheme for world domination, and offer you a last drink.

("A Drink Before Dying", Keith Allison, Teleport City)

What do you ask for?

[rtpoe]

Anyone?

[solvegas]

This is very difficult for me since there are many alcoholic and non - alcoholic beverages that I would like to have before I say hasta la vista to this planet. But if pressed, a nice warm saki would probably be my alcoholic spirit and a absolutely coronary plugging Banana split with a old fashioned French Vanilla malted shake chaser. 

[Ronald Ray Gun]

Christina Hendricks' breast milk. Straight from the tap of course! As a bonus, we would have to wait for her to actually lactate, which gives me ample time to come up with an escape plan.

[rtpoe]

This is very difficult for me since there are many alcoholic and non - alcoholic beverages that I would like to have before I say hasta la vista to this planet. But if pressed, a nice warm saki would probably be my alcoholic spirit and a absolutely coronary plugging Banana split with a old fashioned French Vanilla malted shake chaser. 

The villain walks over to his bar. "An interesting choice. Fortunately, I am prepared." He takes a bottle of Shimizu-No-Mai "Pure Dusk" sake off a shelf. "Appropriate, since it is the end of your time in the sun... And bringing it to the proper temperature allows me enough time to fully explain why I must kill you." As he warms the sake, he gets out a dark green lacquered sake serving set. Tray, cups, the works. But you are not idle. His henchmen used ordinary rope to tie you down, and you subtly loosen your bonds....

During his completely boring explanation of his plan for global domination, the villain glances your way, and calls a henchman over. "Undo his left arm....unless you want to hold his drink for him." A nameless thug approaches your left side, and frees your left forearm. Thanks to your earlier work, that's all you need. A quick twist, and your entire arm is free! Before anyone can react, you jab your elbow into the thug's crotch. He folds up - apparently cups are not part of the normal in-lair uniform.

Your quick reflexes allow you to grab his gun from its holster before he hits the floor. You've trained enough so your left hand is as good as your right in such things. He's in great pain, so you'll finish him off later. The villain is just starting to turn towards you; you fire off a quick shot in his direction. He goes down - it's not clear if you got him or not. An alarm sounds - no time to lose! You slip out of your remaining bonds, and head for the door. Looks like you'll have to fight your way out. No matter.... Oh, before you go, it would be a shame to pass up the sake. Luckily, it's just reached the perfect temperature. As you lift the cup, you remark to the villain (who is nowhere in sight), "To the twilight of your nefarious schemes...."

Music by Lalo Schifrin covers your escape....

[salem]

I don't drink alcohol. It's the taste i've never liked. In Scotland, this makes you sort of a weirdo...

Anyhoo, last drink... Irn-Bru! 

[rtpoe]

Christina Hendricks' breast milk. Straight from the tap of course! As a bonus, we would have to wait for her to actually lactate, which gives me ample time to come up with an escape plan.

The villain gives you a look of utter contempt. "I was under the impression you were a gentleman," he remarks. A brief nod of his head towards one of the henchmen in the room... You hear a gunshot and then everything goes black.

You are dead.

The villain's scheme succeeds, and he winds up marrying Christina Hendricks. They have many children.

[rtpoe]

I don't drink alcohol. It's the taste i've never liked. In Scotland, this makes you sort of a weirdo...

Anyhoo, last drink... Irn-Bru! 

"No alcohol?" the villain asks. "Very well. It so happens that on occasion I prefer to stay sober myself. Thus I keep a modest supply of Irn Bru on hand." He reaches down behind his bar, and brings out a 330ml can and a glass of ice for you. As a henchman frees up your arm, he pours it into the glass and brings it over.

As you slowly drink it, he launches into a description of his plan. You pay close attention, and discover the weak point. If you can sneak away, you can stop his scheme before it even begins. As the villain drones on, you take careful note of the layout of the room. Only one henchman...who seems to be more concerned with his sidearm than with you.

Now's your chance! You fling the glass with all your might - bullseye! The villain is conked in the back of the head! He goes down, because a blow to the back of the head *always* knocks the target out! As a bonus, the ice and soda splash onto a control panel. Since no one in these things has ever heard of circuit breakers, the panel shorts out in a shower of sparks and then catches fire. The henchman tries to shoot, but his gun is jammed! He flings it aside, and charges at you. Using your martial arts training, you wrestle the chair out of the way and trip him as he goes by. Before he can get up, you get free of the chair. You make a short detour to pick up the henchman's gun on your way to the door. The confusion of the alarms should cover your escape....