First, I thank Whoever Is Out There for having given this thread a 76-to-one ratio of views per posts, which is not only cool for a (regrettably) textual thread but is fine by me because I have come to dread the number 77. (Other such numbers are 239 and, of course, 13.) I still hope someday -- maybe in the next two years -- to wangle pictures of major players into this, though those would have to be shot outside the club, as I just witnessed them immediately clamping down on someone's phonecam.
Also, I have to admit that, no, it has not been a solid ten month hiatus. I've been back from time to time. Thing is, I'm jaded, and so the last few times I didn't feel that I had that much to relate. But I do now.
Consider the word "date." It can be a sweet tropical snack. Or an evening out with a lady. Yet the evenings out, I assume, owe their names to "date" as in "calendar" or "history," as in "December 7, 1941" or "July 20, 1969." Blush has already given me personally historic dates. April 2, 2008 was when I was ravished by Elwell, and April 7 was Murdock's Murder, not really that fantastic an event for myself, believe it or not, as something that I think helped cement some sort of personal reputation into the club's folklore, and that's important and useful in its own right -- as you shall see. To those historic dates, I now add Febrary 14, 2009 -- that's right, this past Valentine's Day. It's as if years of preparation neatly, sweetly culminated, at last, into how just about any night in a club should go.
But to get to the 14th, I have to give an update on Elwell. I was in touch with Elwell by way of her site on The Socially Intimate Networking Service We Must Never Mention On This Site -- perhaps I'll refer to it as SINS for short. Anyway, I was in touch with Elwell's SINS-site since my Murder, and over time I held out great hope for hooking up with her outside the club sometime around Halloween. The correspondence went fine, but with Elwell never really confirming anything. It got to the point that there I was, in the hotel room, constantly checking back with her by phone -- and it never happened.
Elwell, you see, has been a hustler, an industry unto herself. For one thing, she was always a slim wisp, and now she's gotten herself augmented -- nothing major, nothing to make your average BEA member sit right up and salute, but a fair first step, at last giving her slender beauty a touch of curve. For another thing, she's gotten out into the major media. She had a line -- three words, edited to a split second, but still a line -- in a major motion picture, and she even turned up as one incidental topless pic in Playboy.
So Elwell's a big deal now -- but she continues to be sweet to me, and I have to admit, her failing to make it over because she's all tied up in a photo shoot involving her getting covered in body paint, that's kind of cool. Anyhow, I messaged her about my regret but also my understanding, and she wrote back THE sweetest message. Here's this beauty, she's going places, doing wild projects, I still have no idea why she did me like she did, and she's a sweetheart on top of all that.
But the week leading up till St. Valentine's Saturday, something new came up. I messaged her three times over the course of two weeks, and wondered what was going on, usually she's very on top of her SINS-site. Finally, I took stock of myself, of how I felt, and I realized something -- namely, that I was so sick with worry and full of doubt that if we were ever to get together, I would not be able to perform.
What can I say, I'm 48. When you're one third, or even one half, my age, you're pretty much ready to fuck the universe. In my old age, though, I need reciprocation. The greatest joy for me is knowing that the woman is responding, that I'm doing right by her. I consider masturbation to be perfectly natural and sensible and in a way even noble -- better to masturbate than to pursue a woman only to basically use her as a prop for masturbation and nothing more.
So I send her a new message, basically explaining "Forget it, it's off." It was really the only message to send -- trying to make a go of the situation would have been a disaster. So I left her SINS-site alone and concentrated on making the best of St. Valentine's Saturday.
Finally I checked back in, and after having made no replies for over two weeks she at last responded, still quite sweetly, but she said that she had a Mafia boyfriend and that anything outside that would be quite impossible. I left her a message and a card -- mild stuff, in case it ever got intercepted -- thanking her.
Could this be bullshit? Oh, sure, certainly. Of course, Pittsburgh has always had a relatively mild Mafia problem. Our "family" is Larocca, which is into stuff like the numbers racket -- for years there was a blatantly obvious "numbers house" being run just down the block from my old apartment. And I can see one of those guys getting together with an up-and-comer like her. So it, sadly, makes sense. But you know what, even if it's a lie, I appreciate it. I mean, who am I? I'm simply a schlub who stops by the club once every few months, while she's enjoying her own miniature stardom, and so far as I can tell there's nothing dreadfully intimidating or fearsome about me, so if she has to lie that dramatically, that's still a pretty sweet deal.
That pretty well wraps up any rendezvous with Elwell -- I'll still be her happy customer, but it won't be quite the same anymore. But luckily, St. Valentine's Saturday was to turn out quite well ...