[DruulEmpire]

I like to think I have some sense, at long last, of a genuine female orgasm.  There was the time I was with Nolin the Czech Chick (by the way, update on her status forthcoming in this report!) and she got very quiet and concentrated and laid herself against me at an odd angle and then I felt this nice spasm that seemed to emanante from deep within her body -- now that sold me.  Natalya didn't quite sell me, but she made a valiant effort, willing to groan at ever louder and higher octaves (a gutsy or perhaps just naive thing to do, with the door left slightly ajar), and after all her theatrics it was sweet to have her just lie still against me in a semblance of "Whew, I'm exhausted."  Later I was to learn from other girls that Natalya was not only quite the maneater but even a little bullying about it, claiming to be Yolanda (see past posts) but even hotter.  I hope she loses the trash talk and paces herself.  All in all, though, it was a great session.

So I'm back down, and not much later my red queen Columbia makes it in, she's momentarily waylaid by some guy but we make eye contact and soon she's hanging with me.  Columbia is the eye of my hurricane, I may never take her upstairs but she's sort of my compass as I navigate the club.  Later, I'll have a hard time explaining this to Elwell (Spoiler alert: Elwell herself was not scheduled for that night but showed anyway!  Told you it was expensive.) who figures Columbia does "something special" for me, but seriously, we just hang and talk and rub against each other, nothing more kinky than my giving her ass a vigorous rubbing to help warm it up ... 

[DruulEmpire]

Not long after my dance and club intelligence report from Columbia, I notice another new girl, been around not much longer than Natalya, let's call her Daquiri.  Very neatly cut brunette bangs, sharp clear pretty face, she seems game enough, so I test drive her.  I'm not sure she's really that into it, or knows much beyond three basic positions, but she's pretty and earnest and she may come in handy in a pinch sometime later.

Then, at last, the real reason I've dragged myself here through the snow: the all-too-soon-retiring Heidi.  She's sharing the stage with some blonde, she's in what's supposed to be a "Latina **04**" outfit, but she immediately picks me out and asks if we can get in a dance.  Now that's cool, when you're the one getting propositioned.  So soon we're alone, and along with her wonderful face and wonderful hair Heidi once more unbras her wonderful breasts, so natural and full and pendulous, always marvelous, and as ever she doesn't mind my having full play with them.

It gets a bit interesting, because she's in a very contemplative mood.  She says she has enjoyed everything about America, but is still a European at heart and hankers to get back to Germany.  She's also wondering about herself, like the universal "Am I too fat?" question, and I say that the thing about her, some women are at their best built a little thick and she's one of them, but eh, she still has doubts.  She even wonders if her legs are too short, and we have a good laugh over that, because it's clear I don' care and she knows it and has fun with that.  Anyhow, I confirm information about how her schedule for 2010 looks, so that I can try to arrange vacation time around it.


And that should have been it, and could have been it, because I finally had to pay cover charge to get back into the club, and I had to wonder, For what, idle curiosity?  But reenter I did ...  

[DruulEmpire]

And there she is, finishing up in the corner cage (so I guess she was just on stage), my nemesis, my Haitian Kryptonite: Elwell.  So of course I go to her, and of course she looks as great as ever, with her amazing sparkling eyes and air of catlike scheming.  So I'm figuring, my cash stash is going fast, get in maybe a song or two with her -- but damn it, it will not suffice, I'm in with her one dance and I know I've got to get her upstairs.  Along the way she points out to me her little dog kept in a kind of master "girls only" room, and I can only think, Yup, that's me.  So we get to rubbing and talking, I perversely ask for both ginger ale and champagne, and she updates me on Nolin the missing Czech Chick.  It comes up as things get steamier, as I tell her she's the only woman (there, anyway) who's ever made me come, that there have been mighty contenders but only one Elwell.  I tell her about Natalya -- doesn't surprise her in the least, Natalya has swiftly racked up a rather negative or lamentable reputation -- but also the times that women orgasmed for me, like when Summer Leigh headlined there, and of course Nolin.  Whereupon she told me that Nolin has been banned from the business, but hopefully in a happy way, because one customer had a monster crush on her and she married him.  Thing is, she wasn't around that long, and she couldn't have gotten hitched not long after she climaxed on top of me, so I figure "She was ready to mate."  This talk must be heating her up because she suddenly FRENCH KISSES me.  It's been ages since I had a good French -- it's a bit tentative, I don't get to suck her breath in, it's mainly dueling tongues.  But still!

I tell Elwell that Neytiri in "Avatar" weirdly reminds me of her, so she'll check it out -- and there's a New Year's Eve party in her honor at another place, and I may check that out.  So all in all it was one very heady night, but I felt very much The Man once more, and that was what counted.

[DruulEmpire]

I'd kill to fuck Elwell's brains out.

Are the women in my life comprising a pyramid?  Consider: the first one was a menage a trois with my best friend's girl, and she in turn introduced me to three more.  So the first four I got secondhand, with no paticular effort on my part.  Then I finally began to date actively around age 30, and that led me to three women, two of whom were fine in their way, but I look back and see that we were mainly bored and lonely and only somewhat compatible.  Elwell, however, takes the whole mating issue to a new level.  Will there be another fling with another no less sensational woman, and then at last someone who could stand to marry me, hopefully long before I turn 70?  4, 3, 2 (though just the one so far), 1 ... makes sense to me.  Of course, I know that Elwell is not the One -- but a man could do far worse.  But first, the backstory.

So I'm at my favorite club for the last night of 2009, and Elwell is already on stage as soon as I walk in.  Hooking up is a bit of a comedy of errors, though, and so that leaves me wide open to a very nicely aggressive Yolanda (she being the seriously hot Russian who just got done wearing Santa gear for club promotions) wondering why I don't have a hat or something -- hey, if something is appropriate to New Year's, I'll wear it.  So I get in some songs with her, and she's more than usually obliging with smothering me in her very nicely augmented cleavage, and by the time I get out Elwell is available once more ...

[DruulEmpire]

I get Elwell for an hour, and once more our sexual combustibility gets the better of us, and for the hundredth time I wonder, how should it be me?  Maybe the relationship is intense enough to get her to consider a kind of "affair."  Her boyfriend is actually in the club at the time, she points him out to me and I think he's sort of like Max in "Armageddon."  But our entanglement is as wary and furtive as ever, and I still wish I could have gotten her into a suite at the Omni William Penn in 2008, but oh well.

The cooldown, though, is sweet.  She gives me a full body massage, and braids and unbraids my hair, and she talks to me about **94** plenty of water and trying rice pilaf and pita bread.  It is then that it hits me: she is very nearly my geisha.

Weirder still, she seems worried by life.  Her, worried by life?  A young sleek successful model and one-line actress, a party machine like her?  She tells me that maybe she'll become an accountant.  Oh, how I'd love to hire her -- as an accountant, a masseuse, a chauffeur ... a geisha.

She says "I love you," which blindsides me, so after a second's hesitation I say "I adore you," which I think is the more accurate and just description of how I feel.  The last woman I tried "I love you" on, it didn't matter to her.  The phrase is important to me, I want it to mean more than "I love you like I love muenster cheese."  So we part nicely, and I go back down to see one of my veteran favorite headliners, Brandi Morgan ...

[DruulEmpire]

Brandi continues to be your cute busty blonde fantasy come to life.  The show is simple enough, she's still plenty athletic but she basically just goes up and down the stage leading off with "I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It," and it all winds up with her playing (*sigh*) cooterball -- although I actually win this time.  She drapes her panties over my face during the first dance, another souvenir.

Weirdly enough, the "Polaroid" has made a comeback, in the form of the digital camera Fujifilm InstaX which basically brings back the old Polaroid experience.  She asks "Would you like to Fuji me?" and I say that coming from her, that sounds REALLY naughty.  I get a hands-on-breasts Fuji of her and I get a couple of songs alone with her.  She promises to return in April and possibly August.

After that I meet up with my Red Queen, Columbia, who is sporting off-the-shoulder costuming very nicely.  I get in my songs with her and an pleasantly shocked when she says "We need to go upstairs."  So I make it a date, I tell her that I'll take her upstairs on Saturday.

And speaking of Saturday ...

[DruulEmpire]

Here's my confession: after being properly luhhhhved by Elwell and Columbia and Brandi Morgan on Thursday, I was looking for a hoochie slut experience on Saturday.  Natalya, the man-eater Russian from a couple of weeks ago, was online scheduled, so I figured, perfect, I'll get her upstairs and put her through basic training.  But Natalya never showed, and instead some new girls looked me up, which was nice'n'all but nothing sufficiently exciting happened with them for me to report, it was just going through motions. 

My evening wasn't really salvaged until Columbia showed up, and we went upstairs -- but it was pretty calm and basic.  I figure she was mainly interested in the space heater and the champagne.

But I did find Tara Reid Sober herself, Paige, and as I'd sworn to in the past I got her upstairs for some serious dry-humping, and that she did and she's damn good at it, complete with tigerish eyes within a fantasy cheerleader face with cascading blonde hair. Paige did great -- but somehow an edge was still missing to the evening, an edge which perhaps Natalya could have delivered if she had shown.

So all in all it was a successful combination of birthday and New Year's.  I don't know how many more of these I have left in me, because I'm basically creating memories, and I already like what I've got.  But maybe I can get Columbia and Yolanda and Elwell and Brandi Morgan all together in one room for one hour one year from now -- now that could be worth saving pennies for.

[Q_BE]

I think I like this thread.

I'll definitely have to remember to hit you up when I visit Pittsburgh in the future, Druul, if only for the experience of going clubbing with you.

Q-"Of course you'll show me the best?"-BE

[DruulEmpire]

First, thanks again to any real live human readers out there who have boosted the views-to-posts ratio on this all-text thread to 237:1.  I've just come back from a kind of "belated Valentine" tour of the club, expensive but (for me anyway) historic.  But first a word.

It is clear to me that it really matters if a club is run well.  The girls need to know that they can rely on security and will be dealt with equitably.  There will always be incidents and complaints and occasional rowdy customers, but so long as this is within the context of a tightly run ship, these are both infrequent and bearable.  I recognize and respect that, and for my part I always prefer to play nice.  Weirdly enough for a place with so much way-out-there nudity and humor, discretion matters.

Some men may not want that.  They'd prefer some getaway, that is to say, some place where they can get away with anything.  So they might prefer a club run more sloppily.  Trouble is, I think they'll find a generally sadder crew of girls there.  So it's a trade-off.  Also, I've really only made myself a kind of an expert on one club.  Club Exotica is still a big deal, and there's a new place calling itself Cheerleaders, trying to claim "We're not so sleazy" but basically repackaging the same situation, maybe with more of the non-erotic live entertainment, like in the olden days.  But I'm a loyalist, if only because I've become loyal to my girls, and I even care a little about them.


So I'm not likely to go sharing this easily.  I was very much looking forward to somehow getting together with fellow Pittsburgher berkovw, but I think he's had to close this particular chapter of his life right now.  Still, there are others around here who I might extend an invitation to in a spirit of long-earned camaraderie -- and they're free to stop by and ask.  But hitting this club is a very particular thing, with ladies I particularly like, so I would reserve a right to screen.  Can just any of the thousands of members here assume I'll be their guide?  No way.  I prefer to share people I like with other people I like.  There's no one here I really hate, but I do reserve the right to choose my friends.

Besides which, Give Me Corporations or Give Me Death, I would not consider myself a true expert on any kind of "Pittsburgh scene."  There are many clubs to choose from, and I can't even vouch for all the women at the one club, if only because the "stable" is revolving all the time.  Most lamentably, I've just learned that "Heidi" retires on June 4, and if you follow this thread all the way through you'll see that others have packed up and gone.  You may, in short, do perfectly fine looking around on your own -- choosing your own kind of club, looking for your own kind of girl.

There are very few people, in life let alone clubs, of whom I can tell a girl "If you like me, you'll like him."  My "brand" is a very specific thing and I nurture it seriously -- and when I finally do make my official report, I hope you will begin to see why.

[DruulEmpire]

I call it a good evening when four sexy women all make a grab for your cock.  There was a fifth who did not, but seeing as she still managed to be sweet and lovely and naked, and extra-bosomy besides, I do not hold that against her, so to speak.

I think it says something about my favorite girls that I went down Thursday night ostensibly to catch Shyla Stylez but simply never bothered to actually do that.  I wound up hanging around till just after 11, which in club time (Shyla was scheduled for 10:30, which in actual time probably came to 11) was probably about right, but by then I didn't care -- and besides, I've seen her before, as recorded earlier in this thread.

This was probably my single biggest night with Natalya.  I sat there awhile with my Sam Adams Lite (I usually don't do lite but it was the only Sam in stock, and not bad) and then noticed the Eliza Dushku beauty in purple chatting up a man to my immediate right.  It wasn't long fbefore that fizzled out and she came over to me and grabbed my ass.  Ever since the odd misfire of the last time, I made up my mind that I would at least take charge of the situation and put her through some training, so we rather quickly retired upstairs to get on with that.

Here's the one most salient feature about Natalya: NO ONE SEEMS TO ACTUALLY LIKE HER.  Later I hooked up with Yolanda and one handler told me "VERY good choice," and then later with Heidi and he said "EXCELLENT choice," but you just don't get any points around that club for trying Natalya.  (A shame too: I liked the Natalya played by Izabella Scorupco in "GoldenEye," but oh well.)  The ultimate comment on Natalya got made by my sweetheart of the evening -- but patience, patience.  Suffice it to say that she freaked out at shadows skulking around outside our champagne room door, and insisted on renegotiating our money and time with the handler in charge even though I was cool with it.  (The handler even got me a free beer to smooth things over.)

Look, I know she's heartless and mercenary and argumentative and just plain bad -- but, like I say, I wanted at least one shot at putting her through some training.  I trained her in usage of the word "stud" and how to slip it into a sentence.  We also discussed the usage of "cock" as opposed to "dick" and ways to talk about it.  The single best development of this was this Eliza Dushku Gone Evil riding me good and long and hard -- and with my pants still on, I have to clarify, a lot of planting herself over my hard bulge -- and going for four nicely dramatic orgasms.  Ordinarily I care whether a woman actually gets off, but with Natalya I don't have to, because she really does a bang-up job expressing one (which may, I suppose, have inspired some of that door-skulking.)  However --

 

[DruulEmpire]

-- my cock kinda-sorta got sprained.  She rode me a little too hard a little too insensitively -- even now it has an unusually pinkish area.  It made for an interesting topic of discussion as the evening wore on.

First, I had a couple of simple booth dances with Yolanda.  Why have I never turned on so hard to Yolanda before?  Just about every other man seems too.  She's lovely enough, playful enough, busty enough, exotic enough -- hell, she retains a far better trace of Russian acent than Natalya -- but I think this was the evening when I really, really, at long last "got it" about Yolanda, because she swiftly caught on that any deft handling of my weapon was causing me a twinge of discomfort, and she very nicely and sweetly asked me what was wrong, and I confessed to Natalya getting four orgasms off me.  So she simply flowed up naked against me and smoldered very nicely, asking at one point if Natalya had my cock in her pussy, and I explained No.  (Elwell was the only one to manage that, and I would never tell.)  It was then that I finally realized: dammit, I should get in half an hour with Yolanda.

Coming up: one of my last engagements with the great Heidi before she leaves for Germany, and for good, come June, a surprise reunion with a hottie I think last seen in 2007, and a VERY special evening with Elwell.

[DruulEmpire]

Heidi was looking a little sad even as she was dancing.  For one thing, they were doing the double-up, having her dance along with some girl I don't remember very well, I think she was Indian.  Normally I'm enchanted with the Indian girls down in Zookie's off-topic thread, but I don't think this girl would have made it there.  Heidi needs even a little exclusive attention, especially as the audience already makes a point of acting jaded.  So I was happy to focus on her on stage and over in the cage.  She wore a nice skimpy sky-blue outfit that looked as good coming off as it did off altogether.  It sounds to me like she's resigning herself more and more to leaving come June 4, but also to trying to take her belly dancing more seriously.  (She's heading to Germany ... wonder if she would have any interest in meeting Beshine?  Heidi mainly hails from the Munich area.)  So we had a good session.  Heidi has always been cool with my handling her large full breasts, but I'm also happy to compliment her voluptuous milfy figure.  Seriously, other girls there openly envy her curvaceousness.  And she took my e-mail address!  We'll see if anything comes of that -- and if I can get in one more session with her later this spring.

Coming down the elevator from Cindy, I bumped into no less than Elwell as she was coming up to the dressing room, looking very glam already and carrying her little dog.  So already I knew I had to stay around.


Some girls actually talk themselves out of dancing with me.  One came up to me, and I said something about my having had a busy evening so far, and poof, she took that as an automatic dismissal.  Whereas another girl I'd had back in 2007, Antonia (see far above), came up to me, and I confessed that I was hanging out for Elwell, but we kept talking and we got a dance anyway.  So you see, it's all in the attitude ...

[DruulEmpire]

With any luck, someone out there has noticed that I never did get around to the Elwell report.  The time with Elwell was special, and she's special, but I look back and I better appreciate it as simply one more walk down the hall of illusions.

I go up with her and we talk and it turns out we have something in common after all.  Me, I'm a schlub looking after a man with mental retardation and a history of explosive violence, and this week I'll be back to my rather parental role of getting him up, medicated, dressed, serving him breakfast, all that.  Turns out Elwell is very much stuck having to play nurse and mommy to that construction millionaire with the shadowy connections.  At one point in his life he got shot thirteen times(!!!) and he recently had another operation which left him temporarily invalid, and so she's had to nursemaid the guy.  There is something unusually sweet and loving in this woman.

I've written out a belated valentine, to try to impress myself on her memory -- but now, nearly a month later, I'm thinking, this woman, these women, are so much in the Now that someone would have to be really stupendous to win their devotion.  It's sweet enough that they treat me so well whenever I show back up.  (Top secret stuff here: Elwell says that Columbia was briefly and recently married.  My red queen tried to marry herself off!?  But I can't talk with her about it, argh.)  I drop the L-bomb -- I explain how I couldn't quite say "I love you" before, but I do now.  The woman has been a key part of my sexual sustenance and rehabilitation (no, I didn't phrase it that way).  But I said someday in the future, when I or even she no longer goes to the club, that we may meet and be friends and, who knows, I may even be of some good to her ... 

[DruulEmpire]

Elwell and I obviously love movies, each of us in our own way, and somehow to love Elwell is to love the plucky dreams of every Pittsburgher who wants even a split second (sometimes literally that) in a major motion picture.  2010 will make four movies that Elwell has managed to appear in, most of them pretty silly or bad, but I will dutifully go to them and perk up when she appears.  I don't say the "silly or bad" part either -- in fact, the one candid thing I slip in which gets a laugh from her is when I confess "you burn a hole in my wallet."  When the waitress come up with our drinks, Elwell tries to make a woman-to-woman appeal to her about this, but the waitress says "Every woman does that" and Elwell complains "You're supposed to be helping me here."

She orders some special shots, which are sort of wasted on me -- I don't really "explore" alcohol -- but I appreciate the slice of lime, and I'm thankful to get on with the champagne.  It's a sweet time with her, and even now I can't quite focus on it all, it was a bit like a dream, but I do know that she pronounced my cock "adorable" once more and seemed really ticked off that Natalya had sprained it -- so ticked off that she asked my permission to tell Natalya that Elwell could cook and eat my balls if I ever messed with Natalya again.  Elwell was nice enough to say it was cool to also see Columbia and Yolanda -- but Natalya, nuh-uh.  Somehow I appreciated the savagery of such a pact -- and even the license to turn down Natalya.  Elwell and Yolanda want my cock healthy and pain-free and strong.  If only I could feel that more of womankind cared about that.

And that more or less concludes this report.  April?  Maybe.

[DruulEmpire]

First, another note of appreciation to all the actual human eyeballs out there which have boosted this to a 243:1 views-to-posts ratio.  (243, that three to the fifth power, dang.)  I have to admit, things are mushing together a bit -- I figure I must have made a visit in April but it's not impressing itself upon me that much.  I hope it involved Columbia.

Perhaps the biggest news is that after nearly 10,000 posts of being doggedly textual, I am now approaching the brink of bringing something visual, and it will probably be right here on this thread.  Item one is that Elwell has done so well with her acting and modeling that she has launched her own website, which is still getting fixed up.  So for anyone who actually wants some idea of her and what she looks like, they could PM me and I'll show them where to look.  Item two is that Heidi does indeed retire and leave for Europe this week, but we had a very nice session -- well, more on that later, but suffice it to say that I may finally get a picture from her, and then I'll be only a scanner away from sharing her.

This time around I decided to go early, setting myself down a couple minutes to noon.  The veteran blonde bartender Karen recognized me and served me, and I just hung out for an hour as the place warmed up.  It got to feeling VERY warm of course when Heidi showed up, and she came over and sat with me and I got her a couple of drinks.  She noticed me scribbling away and, God help me, I got to talking with her a little about science fiction, which I don't think she's really into ...