[3deroticer]

It's been a year since I posted about my mom terminal cancer, and I have up my effort to see her and make her laugh, mostly about my past date with women, she find that oddly funny on my expense. The doctor just gave her 3 more month left to live. It's never enough time to be prepare, but I think it was good that she moved closer to me and my sister and that we have been able to spend more fun time with her, help plant her garden, care for her cat's, and take her to the movies, and eat afterward as a family. Spending all holiday together and do our traditional games after the meal. She even was able to play with her 3 great grand offspring.

Spiritually, my umbilical is still attach and I don't know how to prepare letting go. Just as it was during birth, so it is in the end.
If you had 3 more month, what would you do, and yet I don't feel it's enough.

[solvegas]

The best you can do is to give her peace of mind. Try to tie up any loose ends so she does not feel like she is burdening the family. Always let her know that she did a good job and her kids can take care of business so there is no guilt. I'm pretty sure you are doing this anyways. On my mother's last days she was physically hurting so I was generous with the morphine. You will probably have a sense of guilt. I did. Simply remember that death is part of life and as long as you keep her memory alive she won't be dead. I don't wish to sound horrible but I hope that, for the survivors sake, she does not have a Will but a trust. My mother died back on May 26th and the probate for the Will will finally be finished at the end of this month. Nobody is contesting anything but the freaking courts are slow. For the time and money, trusts are better. 

[3deroticer]

Thanks for the advice I will look into that!

[pedonbio]

I went through a similar time with my father about ten years ago, considering that part of the time he wasn't sure who I was. The most useful part was just listening to him talk about his health, because at the end the doctor wanted clear information about his intentions, and I was able to provide it.

[3deroticer]

My mom pass away yesterday! she tutor a **09** as a volunteer program for the elementary school within month of her death. She tried to live and give to the end. The bumper sticker of her car says "Kindness Work" the bumper sticker was a charity program to bring water to a village in Africa from her church. She been a teacher all of her life and enjoyed not for the money, but to spread love in a **09** heart to do the best they can and that everyone has value. She was so brave, that she didn't waste time crying, but instead live and let go in peace. 

[Palomine]

My sincere condolences for your loss 3D... it sounds like your mom was at peace with life. We should all be so wise and so fortunate.

[3deroticer]

The sweetest thing she said before she was unable to talk was a request to keep repeating my brother and sisters name so she wont forget their name and hurt their feelings. When her mom died with Alzheimer, she thought it was tragic that she couldn't remember.

I can barely speak about this, so I thought I could type this, but then I became blinded with tears. Typing is just as tough. On top of this today is my brother birthday. We will have a great celebration into a whole new content. Not your usual fare, but celebrating our mother success of bringing my favorite brother into the world. Because of her, me and my sisters have him!

[pedonbio]

You have our best wishes, 3d. I've been there; it gets better.

[gonZo]

I'm sorry for your loss, 3D. Keep her alive in your heart.

[Q_BE]

I'm very sorry you lost your mom, 3D. Try to think of it this way: your mom just made the transition into 4D.

Q-"Moms Rule"-BE

[3deroticer]

I saw some incredible picture that I have never seen of my mom and read parts of her diary. There were so many things about my mom I never knew about. I learn so much about her more from her past than I thought was possible. I also found a report card when she was in 4th grade. She had mostly d+ and c- and yet she was the first women to get a master in Entymology at MSU(formerly MSC) She had a big article in the paper and wrote for magazine about insect. She had behavioral problem in school for not concentrating on study. Yet after school she would collect insect. In her field her specialty was Honey Bees and Monarch Butterfly. Back then the field of Entymology was back by the Dean of Agriculture.

My mom was a teacher and gave it up for me. She dedicated herself to teach me how to talk to reverse the damage of the wolf **09** syndrome. To build my confidence in talking with people she would call the dairy queen and tell them about me and that I would order two chocolate dip ice cream in a cone. And then when we get to the place she would ask me to go order and pay for it, and bring it back. She said I was so excited that I was able to do it and that they understood me. When I got my first hearing aid, and I came home and slid out of the car seat I could hear a baseball game and kids making noise, that I was so excited, grab my little porch chair and plop it in the middle of the diamond and watch the game from there. From then on I wanted to know every sound and where it came from, that my mom got everyone looking for crickets for hours in the dark, to show how they make sound.

The detail of what she did were in her dairy that she wrote about all of her offspring, and yet she was very modest and I didn't know the whole involvement of what went on, of how she prepare to be the best mom I could ever have. She always said the most important person she talk to was whoever she was talking to at the moment. As Family she would often assign the oldest to take care of the next one down.

Her study of insect embolden her to believe that she was a caterpillar in this life and was time to become a Butterfly in the next place.

[Pacman]

I'd like to express profound sadness for your loss. Losing a parent is horrible. I've been there.